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Original poster

Sil stalking my Sm

118 replies

Foreveronthattrampoline · 05/02/2025 14:48

Whenever I post something on Sm…pretty rare these days. Sil has obviously seen it, but doesn’t like it or comment etc, but will then text Dh saying for example: ‘Are you going skiing?’ if I’ve posted something about future plans.

I just find this a bit annoying and odd, would you?

Why would she do this?

OP posts:
TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 05/02/2025 17:42

I have unfriended people on SM for this, and in real life too

Original poster
Foreveronthattrampoline · 05/02/2025 17:41

FilthyforFirth · 05/02/2025 17:39

So you are annoyed you aren't getting the likes/comments publicly?! Not seeing the issue, assume you dont like her..

What?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 17:41

PSA: nobody HAS to post on social media. And if you don’t want certain people seeing your posts then either don’t post or remove them as a friend/follower

JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 17:40

CraftyOP · 05/02/2025 17:39

I get you. My SIL obviously looks at my posts as does similar, but never ever posts or sends me a message. I think the last message I have from her was about 2 years ago and I have no idea what my nieces look like as she never shares any recent photos or anything about her life but she's always looking at mine. It's annoying

How do you know she looks at your posts?

CraftyOP · 05/02/2025 17:39

I get you. My SIL obviously looks at my posts as does similar, but never ever posts or sends me a message. I think the last message I have from her was about 2 years ago and I have no idea what my nieces look like as she never shares any recent photos or anything about her life but she's always looking at mine. It's annoying

FilthyforFirth · 05/02/2025 17:39

So you are annoyed you aren't getting the likes/comments publicly?! Not seeing the issue, assume you dont like her..

DemonicCaveMaggot · 05/02/2025 17:38

Presumably your SIL and your DH actually like each other so it seems completely normal she would text him about stuff. DH and his sister talk nearly every day as they are good friends as well as being brother and sister. If I posted something on Facebook she probably would talk about it with him rather than with me.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 17:38

arcticpandas · 05/02/2025 17:16

I don't have social media because

  1. I'm a private person
  2. Slightly paranoid
  3. I think that if I'm important enough to friends/family we ought to be able to keep in touch anyway

You seem to have my number 2 problem ; being slightly paranoid. Solution : quit social media. Nobody is stalking you: you are providing information for the whole world to see.

I'm exactly the same. (private and paranoid.) I do have FB and Insta accounts, I did post on them for a while but I haven't done for years. My profile settings are always watertight, I dont' allow tags to appear on my timeline etc. I keep abreast of status updates from friends but I don't always acknowledge them with likes or comments. I am not obliged to.

I have zero patience with people who keep their SM accounts set to public then complain about other people 'stalking' their SM and knowing all their business. You wanted to attract the attention of all and sundry? You did. Stop complaining and grow up.

Madamecholetsbonnet · 05/02/2025 17:36

Redglitter · 05/02/2025 15:33

She's not stalking you, she's following you. That's how SM works.

If you don't want her knowing your business stop posting about it

I mean, this sums it up really.

honeylulu · 05/02/2025 17:34

If you are posting news on social media you must be intending your audience to see it! Though if you regret having her as a SM friend you can post to a filtered audience so she won't see the post but you can avoid the drama of unfriending.

Or is it that you're annoyed she looks at your posts but doesn't "like". Some people seem to think that's rude though not sure why.

Edit - sorry cross posted. That does sound very annoying!

Original poster
Foreveronthattrampoline · 05/02/2025 17:34

Wow 😂 what a pile on.

I’ve hidden my stories on Fb and Ig from that side of the family as I just can’t be arsed with it, so there’s a lot she doesn’t now see. But I made an Instagram post on the grid part after Christmas (I cannot hide this in any way, have looked into it and it doesn’t seem possible) and every time I do, she comes rushing to question Dh about it, not in a lighthearted ‘Oh I see you went such and such a place, was it nice?’ But in an interrogating, questioning way…It’s the way she is, hence why I hide her and them on everything else.

OP posts:
JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 17:23

OP you’re essentially annoyed that SIL isn’t adding to your social media clout that she’s speaking to her brother instead.

This may be a ‘you’ problem

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 17:21

That's not stalking. Don't be so daft. It sounds like you are just annoyed that she doesn't acknowledge you on SM.

arcticpandas · 05/02/2025 17:16

I don't have social media because

  1. I'm a private person
  2. Slightly paranoid
  3. I think that if I'm important enough to friends/family we ought to be able to keep in touch anyway

You seem to have my number 2 problem ; being slightly paranoid. Solution : quit social media. Nobody is stalking you: you are providing information for the whole world to see.

spinspinspinthewheel · 05/02/2025 17:13

Ignore the usual lot flying in to try and make you feel like shit for asking a question and having feelings op.

I get what you mean! It’s your sister in law not a random stranger. It’s normal for family and close friends to interact on the social media you use. And yes it can feel wierd for a close friend to family member not to interact with you directly. I’d wonder why as well if it was someone close

TeenLifeMum · 05/02/2025 17:11

Huh? I get a notification every time my sil posts. I’m not stalking her. Sounds like her brother tells her nothing and she’s trying to make conversation/connect.

CdcRuben · 05/02/2025 17:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Butchyrestingface · 05/02/2025 17:09

If she 'liked' or commented on your posts, would that STILL be stalking, @Foreveronthattrampoline ? Or does it only count if she reads something that shows up on her timeline but doesn't respond in some way?

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/02/2025 17:09

WingsofRain · 05/02/2025 17:05

I agree with PPs that you evidently don’t understand the meaning of the word “stalking”.

Or the concept of social media.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 05/02/2025 17:08

Is this about the “ stalking” or her not liking your posts?

WingsofRain · 05/02/2025 17:05

I agree with PPs that you evidently don’t understand the meaning of the word “stalking”.

BreezySqueazy · 05/02/2025 17:01

JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 16:55

Why are you complaining - you WANT people to know about what you do don’t you?

What OP wants is attention for her SM posts and she doesn’t like that the attention is going to her DH instead. I bet she’s fuming about the way this thread has gone because that also hasn’t had the positive attention she was looking for!

JandamiHash · 05/02/2025 16:55

Why are you complaining - you WANT people to know about what you do don’t you?

CarpetKnees · 05/02/2025 16:54

I'm with everyone else.
You've put some news on your SM, and you know she follows you on SM. Why would you think it odd she has then read it ? Confused

Why would it be odd for her to mention something interesting in your lives, when she is chatting to her brother.

The word 'stalking' is completely misused in your post.

dothehokeycokey · 05/02/2025 16:49

Wtf?!

If you post on a public platform don't moan people read it ffs

I don't ever know or understand why anyone wants the world to see their life story on sm let alone hear every conversation because everyone now seems to walk round with their phones on loud speaker which also drives me bonkers.

It's just odd odd self indulged behaviour.