What do you think of Blake Lively?

@DeeDeeFuzzbot
juggling motherhood and a busy work life. (Always impressive!).

hmm I’m just not so impressed by a nepo baby Hollywood millionaire with a team of Nannie’s , maids, private chefs

other than that I agree with your post :)

and I have enjoyed a couple of BL’s films

Lots of information has come out since I first stumbled on this thread.
And hearing all the many various voices about this!

What do I think of Blake Lively now?
After..

•The interviews I saw.

•Including… The free admissions she made about how she conducts herself professionally.

•The messages, voice messages and texts.

•Her legal documents and the account(s) of what happened to her.

•Baldoni’s legal documents and his account of what happened to him.

•Film footage.

Wow.
They present a lot of things about her.
Some of which deviate from what I imagine most people thought about her before ALL this info came out.

I literally had no opinion myself.
Meh!

My more negative observations being that…

There is a huge but fragile ego here.

Displays of Self centredness.

Acts intentionally with Dishonesty.

Has a desire for control and authorship that can damage other people’s careers and professional roles.

Has taken credit for things she didn’t do herself.

Someone who doesn’t respect others boundaries.

Someone who is sensitive and defensive and yet, insensitive towards others.

Uses all means at her disposal to get what she wants.

The positive ones being…

She is someone who is hardworking.

Someone who is VERY Passionate about what they do.

Someone who speaks her mind.

Someone who demands people respect her boundaries.

She is a savvy business woman.

Someone who grabs opportunities wherever she can.

Is juggling motherhood and a busy work life. (Always impressive!).

Someone who likes to get her desired results.

I can’t believe I have derived so much about someone I have never, ever met!
I don’t know this lady!

But so much has been revealed that can’t be unseen. And there will be more…

Eeesh!

The above views are completely aside from the SH claims.
Separate, separate…
separate.

I do hope they are looked into appropriately. And respectfully and sensitively.
As should all complaints of SH!
And that truth shall prevail! ✨
❤️

Indeed, and I’m not going to get it from you.

That’s NOT my line.

But I can clarify it.

It’ll be lengthy.
But what’s new?!

Just for you 😉
and anyone who gives two shakes of a cats tail. 🐈‍⬛

Anyone can be harassed.
Anyone can report it.
Everyone should be supported in reporting it.
It is taxing on the victim.
I’VE SEEN IT MYSELF.

The reality for women and Children experiencing and reporting dv/sh/s abuse etc is heartbreaking and sometimes life ending! And I do NOT endorse these conditions.
It is my CRITICISM!

To be clear 😊
THAT is my stance.

Most of the above since before Blake Lively was born and I am quite certain until my death. (May that be a long ways off!) 🤞

The stats for women and girls are horrendous.

How many cases of sexual violence, abuse, DV or harassment against women and girls get reported vs how many are actually happening. Right now.

How many cases are dropped before getting to court.

How many cases are successful when they get to court.

How many children ( including babies ) are caught up in the crossfire of DV and harassment. Ending up in social care.

How many women die.

How many children are now without their mother.

It has to change AND Decades ago!

I want women and girls to race away from danger now!
To be believed and protected.
Pack up your things and run and tell your truth!
Knowing it is not that easy.
There is unseen bravery and resilience everywhere. Because there are unseen horrors everywhere.

I worry about ALL this. ⬆️
And so do many of us on this thread, I imagine.
For too long.

I worry about misogyny, wherever it may be.
If I hadn’t been clear on that point, I’m happy to clear it up for you … right here.

And you also see, I do choose, all by myself, what I consider is important to worry about.

If you are more interested in the misogyny against Blake Lively and in Hollywood or indeed this thread…
that’s your choice.
Your thought process.
You gotta do you.

My lens on this is, perhaps, different to others.
That is the nature of things.
I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
I’m fine with that.

But what we should all expect is respect.
On this thread and in wider life.
So let’s be kind ❤️

With all things That go to court.
You need evidence.
It is an essential part of this process.
Otherwise, what is the judge and jury meant to be looking at?

How can THEY ascertain what is TRUE and give a ruling? And try to compensate accordingly without that step?

Probabilities based on…?

The legal teams charging a million dollars per month are gathering, what now…?

Facts, witnesses and information to present as…?

Evidence!

I do not decide what is admissible as evidence and neither do you, I imagine?

So what I think is “cast iron” (Mirabai’s words not mine) doesn’t matter!
No one gives a fig about what I think.

We are but inconsequential chitter chatter…blowing in the digital wind! 💨

However, I am ever mindful that we are all talking and sharing views here that impact… US.

You, and I and all the readers on here.

We will look up this thread and affect each other in ways we cannot always fathom.
The only thing we can control is our intent.
And I intend to be respectful.

It is incredible what information we have seen already.
Such egos!

I also see.

Truth IS being eroded and replaced with narrative.
Which can only be restored by FACTS.
Unedited.
Uncomfortable.
Verifiable.
and sometimes painful.
But always Freeing.

I want to swim in an ocean of truth.
Even if it’s a long walk through a beach strewn with misinformation and hatred to get there.
I’m jumping in with Jane Fonda!
Splash! 💦
(That was her metaphor by the way. I totally nicked it!)
If anyone cares at all.

My hubby doesn’t give a monkeys 🤣
Hollywood PR eh!
What a mess.

@LadyTottingham what’s funny?

@Wordau likes the facts! Random person online says they know of someone who knows them in real life and they say they’re nice. So that’s that! Case closed right?!

😉

@Mirabai critical thinking needed here. Good luck!

😂

Interesting - someone who actually knows her rather than baseless speculation!

😂

By your line - anyone can be sexually harassed, but only those with cast iron proof (whatever you think that means), can report. In that case the majority of harassment (and sex offences too) would never be reported. But this is a civil not a criminal case so those evidential standards are not relevant as civil cases are decided on the balance of probabilities.

The misogyny in our culture is in full evidence on this thread and throughout Hollywood - why not worry about that.

It is not about what I require.
Not at all.
But what the judge and jury would require.
And in this case “irrefutable”, I would define as provable evidence and undeniable evidence.
Which is why such cases (including those of really horrendous assault) are so hard for a victim to get justice.
And why many cases fail to get to court in the first place.

Anyone can be sexually harassed.
ANYONE!

If the circumstances arose for a predator to take advantage of.

The concern I have is IF one high profile woman is proven to not have been harassed, the awful implications that has for ALL women.
Because of the misogyny in our culture. Some of which women also partake.

I am keenly aware of the hate women receive, also from other women. It is literally all over the internet.

by your very first point in your first sentence I can tell you haven’t looked into this case properly. Go deeper.

Erm so you missed the fact she filed a list of complaints at the time and got agreement that things would change? And you missed the points documented in the NY Times article indicating she has saved and documented a significant amount and subpoenaed even more. And you apparently think that you, a member of the public would be notified of all with this when she’s about to fight a court case?

And can you explain why so many Hollywood actresses say they didn’t complain, walk off set etc?

Erm yes. If she felt she was being sexually harassed (bear in Mind BL knows the score here since she had already accused another man of this before) then yes, I would expect her to document things, and file complaints etc etc. Hell yes, I would. I would expect her to keep track of anything, save videos, texts, complaints, evidence of meetings, walk off set ffs (she is NOT a fucking vulnerable wallflower she's ballsy as fuck and she would have had representatives for her on set, or the SAG AFTRA she could contact) But.... she didn't. Wonder why.

I don't believe in a smear campaign. I felt sorry for her when I heard she'd brought the suit and I read about the slimy things she said he'd said and done during the dance scene. Then his team released the audio with the footage and it seemed she (or rather perhaps her lawyers, husband, whoever is behind all this) misrepresented a lot of things

Then those weird texts she'd sent him about "her love language" came out ( which he appeared to deflect by talking about his wife and kids) and it was suddenly much harder to say who was harassing whom.

I had vaguely positive feelings about her based on her funny online persona, not on her films (which I haven't seen). Now I'm on the fence.

I have no particular opinion of Baldoni, either. Suing for $400,000,000? I'd respect him more if he sued for $1.

What kind of “irrefutable” evidence do you require? When you’ve been sexually harassed what kind of evidence did you have?

Are you saying that if you’re a high profile woman you can’t accuse anyone of sexual harassment unless you have cast iron “proof” what does that proof look like? It’s just words and behaviour isn’t it?

I agree with you! There definitely is evidence available!
Just not in this article.

I think another thing I take from the article is a fear that has been bobbing around my brain.

In the culture we are in…IF this one high profile woman is proven to have intentionally misled or lied about these allegations to protect her brand and reputation, what the hell will that mean for all the other (mostly anonymous) women who struggle to be taken seriously and are in real danger.

It really worries me.
In my mind the stakes are really high!

But, I don’t know if Blake Lively has irrefutable evidence that she was harassed and smeared which she hasn’t shared with the public yet.
I think that may be unlikely considering I feel a lot of this is about PR.
But what do I know?!

@DeeDeeFuzzbot

What I do take from this piece of journalism is the cautionary tale about being drawn into narratives without…facts.

but there are some facts and evidence available…

This was an interesting article. Thanks for sharing.

It got me thinking…
I thought the me too movement had collapsed before this case.
I’m not sure we have ever been in a position where everyone automatically believed everything a woman has said?
Regarding SH or SA.
If so, only briefly.
From what I’ve seen, the whole process for reporting assault, abuse, harassment etc can be a trauma in itself.
It’s not a simple thing.
That has not changed.

I feel…
Protections for women and girls complaining of harassment or abuse are nowhere near strong enough.

I know I feel quite strongly about this for a lot of personal reasons and more pertinently because I knew a woman who died at the hands of their harasser. In the street…yards from her home.
Her children’s message of helplessness and frustration about the lack of support from the police is often in my mind.

Misogyny can be a matter of life and death.
I know that for sure now, experientially, beyond the disgusting statistics.

That does not mean we should take “other” forms of harassment as not serious enough…if you know what I mean?

That being said…
What this article does not do is provide evidence of what either of these individuals are accusing the other of. Not SH, not SA, slurring, smearing etc.
None at all.

What I do take from this piece of journalism is the cautionary tale about being drawn into narratives without…facts.

About prejudging people and their motives because of preconceived (political, cultural etc) notions about how men and women “should” behave and what standards they “should” be held up to.

About deep, disturbing misogyny online and in our culture.

And the danger of jumping to conclusions about the veracity of accusations because of what we expect an appropriate victim to look like.

I do wish there to be discussion in our culture about giving women the things they really need to navigate this world, at work, at home, on the street and online, safely and without fear.

And a plan to make things better, like, decades ago!

In more complicated conundrums, I try with all my might to move beyond dualistic thinking.

So
Blake Lively may have done all kinds of underhand and unpleasant things onset AND been harassed.

Blake lively may have done everything with good intentions AND not been harassed.

Blake Lively may believe she can be underhand with good intentions AND feel harassed when she wasn’t.

Oooof!
What a tasty soup!

I wasn’t there so 🤷🏽‍♀️

It is so damaging that we can be so easily polarised by…opinions.

Thanks again for the article.
It gave me much food for thought which is always a good thing in my book ☺️

Dear Lord.

Yeah they did ask for it.
The Baldoni team sent their documents to the judge asking to quash the subpoena because Team Lively’s scope was too broad.
ie 2.5 years and ALL the communications.
Team Lively went to the NY times and published the messages they thought were evidence back in December.
Then Team Baldoni shot back publishing online, the full messages including emoji’s. Which gave a fuller context.
Basically stating…it wasn’t them.
Thats where they are so far.
If I have to declare a team…um.
…I’m team nosy Parker 🤭

Agreed. Someones looks don’t make them more or less worthy of victim status.

In any case, not that it’s relevant to the case, but for the benefit of those who keep bringing up her looks, yes her looks were bought. Does this influence the opinion of those who say she is defo a victim because she is beautiful?

LOL

So many posters on here saying how beautiful she is. That doesn’t make someone any better and she bought her looks anyway. Don’t use bought looks to see someone in a positive light.

I’ve seen an interview where she said she doesn’t understand the word no

and one where she said she poisoned the cast against a male co worker

one where she says being an actress isn’t enough so she lies to get the part then starts to take over

her. Own. Words.

but oh….. must be the smear campaign.