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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teetotal but made to feel like a freak

80 replies

HappyOak · 05/02/2025 09:25

So I’ve been with my partner a few months, he’s a drinker, maybe three of four drinks of an evening and more at the weekend.I’m teetotal having witnessed family members become alcoholic. Horrendous.
To cut a long story short my partners fronds are all drinkers, their friendships seem to centre around drinking. Each time we see them they always have to unleash some bitchy jibes about me not drinking and drinking sparkling water all the time and I just laugh it off but to be honest it really does piss me off.. I respect their choices why the hell can’t they accept mine and leave me to enjoy my Evian in peace 😆
His friends keep saying things like “ Oh we are surprised you’re with a non drinker “ etc etc and it just all feels a bit catty …
One friend bought us a bottle of booze and two glasses for Christmas saying it was for us to share even those she knows I’m teetotal … I wish I had the courage to issue a retort but I don’t … maybe I’m being too sensitive … AIBU?

OP posts:
TiramisuThief · 05/02/2025 09:33

Anyone with friends i don't get on with is a sign the relationship isn't going to work out.

Sorry. He has immature friends.

I do think drinkers who make a big deal of people who don't drink are doing it to deflect feelings about their own drinking. Being on the receiving end of it is really dull and boring. I would point it out to them, maybe that will shut them up

LandofSpices · 05/02/2025 09:32

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/02/2025 09:29

I don’t think this is going to work out. You have very different social lives and I suspect that it’s going to begin causing problems between you relatively soon. I’d end things with him whilst it’s still a new relationship and look for somebody who is also teetotal or doesn’t have social drinking as such a core part of his social life.

Yes, and also, your boyfriend (he can't possibly be a 'partner' after a few months, OP) is a heavy drinker if he has three or four drinks a night and more at weekends. He clearly has alcohol dependence. Bluntly, you're focusing on the wrong thing in getting annoyed at his friends. You're teetotal from viewing up close the results of other people's alcoholism. Why are you dating a heavy drinker?

WrinklesShminkles · 05/02/2025 09:30

YANBU and that friend sounds like a twat. But I think all you can do is rise above it. Or perhaps describe to them in detail exactly how alcoholics suffer and make those around them suffer as well - it's pretty eye-opening when you experience it. Hopefully someone will be along soon with some cutting retorts you can unleash on them.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/02/2025 09:29

I don’t think this is going to work out. You have very different social lives and I suspect that it’s going to begin causing problems between you relatively soon. I’d end things with him whilst it’s still a new relationship and look for somebody who is also teetotal or doesn’t have social drinking as such a core part of his social life.

Original poster
HappyOak · 05/02/2025 09:28

Friends not fronds … I can’t even do that right 😆

OP posts: