To complain about the amount of bereavement leave a colleagues has been given

@ExpressCheckout there will always be some people who abuse the system.but that's not necessarily the case here. The OPs colleague may very well be struggling with her bereavement and need some time off sick. The OP needs to be raising the lack of cover to her manager, not shifting blame to a bereaved colleague.

For what it's worth, I work in the public sector and have had 3 days off sick in the last 15 years (for a minor operation involving GA). But if I needed sick leave to cope with something very traumatic then I would take it.

We also have an absence trigger system. One of my direct reports hit it as she had had 3 separate periods of sick leave in 6 months. I had to go through it with her, identify if there were any particular reasons and any mitigations we could put in place to support her. There were valid reasons but it is all on file. People can't just take loads of random sick days and it not be noticed/recorded/dealt with.

Well then the thread title shouldn't be 'AIBU to complain about the amount of bereavement leave a colleague has been given'

Because it reads very, very badly and most people (quite rightly) are going to think the poster is selfish, uncaring and a busybody.

If she had titled the thread 'Manager hasn't arranged proper cover for colleague's absence' then it might have got more constructive posts and opinions.

My husband took longer than a month away from work when his Mum died (we run a business together). I was holding down the fort by myself most of the time, but it never occured to me to begrudge him the time he needed to grieve, sort the funeral etc. He's the type to never take a sick day etc.

I remember when my Dad died, I was working for a bank and they were dicks about allowing time off for bereavement and the funeral. I ended up having a nervous breakdown a year later and could barely function for several months. I think people should be allowed to take the time they need and management should find a sustainable solution to manage workload rather than piling it on others.

It might be your job to log it but its certainly none of your business and I would consider that a break in your colleagues privacy rights, her sick leave or bereavement leave is nothing to do with you. I hope you havent discussed this with other people and I hope your manager puts you back in your place.

Your manager can approve what they want, the policy is literally 'at their discretion' so you haven't a leg to stand on and will look nasty and unprofessional complaining about it. Christ shes lost her mum, I wouldnt be back at work after a month either. Spend less time gossiping and being bitter and you might get more work done.

You do have the right to refuse to do overtime or to complain for more help but that's a separate issue.

I worked in the public sector for a long time and the levels of sickness/absence are appalling. Apparently it's even worse now.

The culture and the system allows it to happen. The public sector really do need to put on their big girl pants and deal with this.

People are incentivized to take long periods of absence but are not supported properly to return (sooner) to the workplace.

There used to be a 'joke' in the NHS that long term sick basically meant six months, because that's the point when the pay dropped.

Yet another sign that most posters can't read or comprehend posts.

It’s not the bereavement leave that’s the problem, it’s that management didn’t arrange cover

You are being massively unreasonable. A month or two is nothing. Your complaint is about understaffing and that appropriate cover is not in place. Your complaint needs to be addressed to your superiors about their failure to mitigate the impact on the rest of the team, not the bereaved colleague.

I would not remark on the bereavement leave decision but be forthright with my complaint that no cover or support has been offered to the team to cover the workload. This is the actual issue.

I would recommend perhaps not phrasing it as a complaint, but discuss with your manager and/or their line manager as your colleague's absence highlighting a significant issue with staffing in the department. Also perhaps ask them to clarify whether there has been a change in policy that you weren't aware of.

What would have happened if another person became ill during the same time? How sustainable is it?

We have one person on long term sick leave at the moment, which was tough, but manageable. Now we've had another person go off on indefinite sick leave. For now we're managing by distributing the workload not only around the team but up to management and director level too and are looking at getting a temp in as and when we have a better idea of the length of their leave of absence.

As the boss, however, I would be sympathetic to someone needing a lot of bereavement leave, but if the policy is 3 days and someone needed more, I'd be certainly asking for a fit note from their GP.

You are making a complaint about your department being short staffed, not making a complaint about someone's leave.

If they had been diagnosed with cancer and needed to take months off you'd be in the same position.

I don’t see the issue. If she was off on sick leave or maternity leave you would have to deal with it.

The problem is not the show of compassion. It’s the failure to organise adequate leave.

This is all too common in the NHS (and schools and many other public services) where on a day to day basis the show must go on and everyone else has step up to cover bereavement, sickness, mat leave and people leaving.
In many other jobs it is possible to cope with a temporary reduction of staff - orders and processes may take a little longer and there is often scope for overtime and temp staff.
There does seem to be a big inconsistency among NHS line managers over what they will allow - there are guidelines and policies but when you tell your line manager your brother has died and the funeral is Tuesday week they look at the calendar and start saying things like we have already got x number of people off that day would you be back afterwards.

Jobsworth

So in your line of work how long do you get to feel able to work, why are people so keen to put a time limit on grief?

HR here.

So what? It’s none of your business what leave she is on, whether you log it or not, None whatsoever. In fact, now you’ve logged it, GDPR legislation says you need to forget about it. I hope you aren’t sharing any of this with your colleagues as that would be a breach of data protection.

As others have said you are focussing on the wrong issue.

1. Your colleague’s bereavement leave: nothing to do with you. Not for you to comment on what leave she takes or what the organisation chooses to allow. Shouldn’t come into conversation. Hope they are as flexible with you if you are ever unlucky enough to need it.
2. Your manager failing to manage the workload and pressure on the team. This is the issue you need to focus on. How is your manager planning to support the team while they have these short term additional pressures.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, sadly not everyone bounces back. Each person's journey is different. I know that I shocked my colleagues when I returned to work a day after my sister died from cancer but it worked for me.

Do I think that some people wallow a little more than they used to? Probably but I think that is because we are not used to death being part of the pattern of life.

I hope that when you @Justgoogleitlater have to face such challenges are met with a similar amount of sympathy from your managers.

After my dad died I tried to go back to work as soon as possible (I think it was within a week). I lasted a couple of weeks then was signed off (can't remember for how long) with depression/anxiety. I was ill. Don't be heartless.

I think it depends on your work role but also how the death impacts you; I mean how debilitating your grief actually is.

I had just over a week off when my wife died. I was a social worker so in a public facing role and could not have assumed my work mask and carried it off any sooner.

Before I was in that job, I worked for a charity, and my boss, who was an amazing woman, actually came into work the day her husband died. I recently heard that she herself had died and in her obituary it was noted that she was sending work e mails on the day she died.

This ^

Fucking hell. I can't believe that anyone would be harbouring these feelings about someone experiencing one of the lowest points of their life. Much less contemplating complaining about them!

The issue is solely the way your manager is dealing with the workload of the team. Focus yourself on that.

But a GP could sign her off for a month?
I'd need about a year to get over my dear mum's passing. Not that I work, but I wouldn't be able to function even on a basic level, for at least a few weeks.
I can't see how you can do this without seeming wholly insensitive. It's her Mum. Not her dog, not her great aunt who emigrated to Bulgaria in 1974.

TBH honest it doesn't make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things , sick leave would not mean the work was covered by others either, I have a family member that works in the NHS and shouldering the burden for people who are sick or even in some cases leave the job seems to be the norm . It's the system that is the problem .

I think this is an issue you can raise with management at a later date. Talk about understaffing and getting plans into place about how to split work evenly so other staff don’t feel stressed.

I would not make this an issue about bereavement leave. She may have taken a sick line and management have decided to put it through as something different.
If you make an issue of this about the colleague having time off then you will look insensitive and not a team player.

Go to management with a problem and a potential solution. What do you think should be the solution here op?

It sounds like your preferred solution would be to force your colleague to come back? You say that you like this colleague… do you know anything about how she is coping? Is she sleeping/functioning? Would she even be able to string a sentence together without bursting into tears? I know I couldn’t for quite some time after my parent died. If she came back too soon you’d still likely end up doing her role, she needs to be fit to work.

no, go to management with a different solution… temp staff, less work… has to be a different solution.

Sorry but YABU you have no idea what that colleague is going through. I can’t believe anyone would consider complaining about someone going through a bereavement and asking for their leave to be shortened it’s so inappropriate. Asking for support as previously suggested is fine.