To complain about the amount of bereavement leave a colleagues has been given

Just work your hours, and get done what you can in that time.

Communicate to management that you cannot complete all the tasks you have been set in the time available, and ask what they want you to prioritise.

This is nothing to do with your colleague, but with managers having unreasonable expectations based on the level of resource available.

Christ, my mum is the most important person to in the world to me, after my children. When she dies I'll definitely be off work for more than a month. You sound heartless

The scope of the policy isn't one size fits all though. These NHS policies are guidance, ultimately it's at manger's discretion. Which is why the OP is on a hiding to nothing. The employees who'll quote policy chapter and verse tend to be problematic in general; they're never team players (regardless of how much they claim to be).

You don’t know the situation… perhaps her mum had dependents that the colleague has now got to care for. Can’t sort out stuff like that in three days can you.

It's a silly policy.

My friend recently lost her husband very suddenly. She has 2 children under 5. She has been off work for 6 months and is still not ready, I'm not sure she ever will be.

My husband has spoken to his parents once in the last 20 years and it ended in an argument. When they die, if he's told, he might need an hour to process it and if he needs to organise the burial then he might take a day to do that.

How can there be a one-size-fits-all "bereavement policy"?

I'm not even going to write what I think about you for posting this horrible thread @Justgoogleitlater because I will get the comment deleted, but FFS, this woman has lost her MOTHER. Have a bit of compassion and sympathy. I lost my mother when I was 29, and had 2 small toddlers. I had 2 months off work, (I was part time 3 days/24 hours a week) as it nearly broke me. You would have HATED me. I wonder if some people were carping about me, and bashing and slating me behind my back, like you're doing here about this woman?!

And you want to put in a complaint about it, after nosing in her file and seeing it's not 'sick leave?' Seriously, have a word with yourself! Your behaviour is literally a disgrace! And the few posters saying 'oh but I lost this person and that person and I returned to work within 3 hours' need to have a word with themselves too. Not everyone is the same!

And as previous posters have said, it's not that lady's fault that the staffing is poor where you work!

She’s lost her mother. Get a grip

My dad has just died.

I have an appointment with my GP in the next hour.

Bereavement and grief are very personal. I am sleeping less than 3 hours per night, I can't stop my brain, I'm even singing in my head, the songs we chose for his funeral. I am so sad.
I'm completing forms the coroner, dealing with a post mortem, I arranged the funeral and supporting my elderly mum who has lost her love of 63 years. My DC’s require support given that this isn't the first bereavement in the last two months .

I need to drive for work I can't drive on less than 3 hours sleep as, my GP has said, I am a danger to myself and other road users. I have sleep meds and feel worse, certainly not able to drive with them.
My role is to support others, I don't have the mental resilience to do that.

My colleagues have been so supportive. After other recent bereavements in my family, it is the care and understanding of others that are getting me through.

Workload is a separate issue and not connected to your bereaved colleague.

It’s not just the grieving, there can be huge amounts of admin to deal with, perhaps organising the funeral etc. It certainly takes a month, and you’re not likely to be performing at your best in other areas during that time.

I’m with PP — complain about inadequate staffing, not about your employer’s being understanding about bereavement.

It doesn’t seem right that he should be able to make such an extraordinary decision without the approval of his manager. And the decision should have taken into account having temporary help to cover her work. I would want reassurance that this wouldn’t happen again.

But maybe there’s a good reason why that much leave was given in this case. Scratching my head what that might be…. Maybe her mother was a single parent and your colleague had much younger siblings who she needed to take care of and organise ongoing care for.

Read my comment above, which will surely explain why “just getting back in the saddle” after a traumatic bereavement when you work in healthcare isn’t always that simple.

And also, your almost derisory tone about OP’s colleague “dwelling” on her loss, Jesus Christ. Of all the things in the world that we might be allowed to dwell on or be disturbed by, is the loss of a precious loved one not one of those things?

As a HCP I’ve bore witness to so much pain and loss throughout my career, it sticks in my craw a little bit to read words that suggest I “mustn’t dwell” on my own losses.

You may have knowledge of how the leave is being recorded, however you have no knowledge of what discussions have taken place between your colleague and manager. You have no knowledge of how the loss has affected your colleague. If you push it, she may (in her vulnerabe state) decide to submit a line and take another couple of months off (which will leave you in a far worse predicament staffing wise).
Going above your manager to complain that they've shown kindness and compassion will not reflect well on you. You can take your toil on the phased days your colleague is in.

This

YANBU! Aside from the impact upon yourself and your team (ignore the posters who think you can just parachute a 'replacement' who doesn't know the processes etc..) What is your colleague going to do in this time? Just dwell? How does that her or anyone else (except if there are care requirements that now need to be filled)? She needs to get back in the saddle!

It’s pretty obvious that she’s no longer on bereavement leave, but has likely been signed off by her GP as medically unfit for work, so your employer is following the usual absence management policy in terms of phased return, etc.

I’d keep your nose out.

My younger sibling died in his sleep three days before his 26th birthday - if I’d only been able to have three days bereavement leave, that would have been preposterous. I was an A&E nurse at the time and absolutely not fit to return three days later and start resuscitating other 25 year olds or dealing with any number of other distressing situations that frequently occur in the Emergency Department. As it happens I was signed off work for three months (on three occasions of one month at a time), and then went back to work for six weeks, before I realised that I still wasn’t really in a fit state mentally to give a shit about anyone else’s problems because my whole existence was still so flooded with having lost my brother and all of the family implications, etc - so I ended up signed off again for another 8 weeks.

You never know how a bereavement will effect you
We had a staff member have a whole year when her mum died .

Better they stay off than come in and not performing well because they can't manage

I think it affects you mostly by the extra work piled on you.
I worked in the NHS and this would happen when a colleague went off long term sick.
I would tell management I'd see how much time I had left after I'd done my own work before I'd commit to any extra.
And no...my work didn't directly affect patients

I'm glad I'm not working in your team. Sounds like the team are more concerned about some extra work than a person who is struggling with grief.
You are within your rights to refuse work above your contracted hours. You clock off, go home, forget about work and get on with your life. Managing work preassure doesn't compare with managing grief.
Maybe consider how you will feel if you complain and management decide they will stick to 3 days. You may end up in a situation where you lose the closest person to you and are unable to function but are not allowed the leave you require.

I think it's been spelled out pretty clearly here.

As a Manager if you don't want to lose a good member of staff, you support them through these times how they need it. Sometimes that means the team takes a bit of a hit, but you'd hope they'd suck it up knowing that the same care would be afforded to them in similar circumstances.

Regardless, if you want to raise the issue, your issue is with the lack of resource. Not your collegue. Do not go that route.

YABVU to complain about the leave.

If the issue is you are short staffed, then go to management and ask for a temp to be brought in.

You seem quite horrible and lack empathy. I’m fortunate not to have been in that position but I cannot imagine what she is going through. Hearing experiences from my mum about her own mother passing she has never been the same since and it’s been 25+ years. Your colleague has likely been signed off work medically due to mental health issues resulting from her trauma. Whilst your work should have got temp employees to help make up for the work lossed, it’s down to the company and not your colleagues fault in the slightest. Maybe complain to your boss about them as it’s on them that you’re having to extra work

A friend in her early 50s who had a senior management post in the NHS somehow managed to take six months off work after her 87-year-old mother died. I was astonished: her work seemed to be her life. I've always worked in the private sector where a week would be the limit. Not sure how she managed it, but I do know that six months at home alone with nothing much to do (her mum's affairs were simple to sort out) was a disaster for her. She became borderline agoraphobic and eventually returned to work but couldn't seem to get back into the routine of things and ended up being made redundant. She's now living pretty much as a recluse. Overlong periods of compassionate leave can backfire badly. Most people do benefit from getting back into a working routine as soon as possible. They may not feel it at the time, but it's the best thing for them.

You think that three days for bereavement leave is appropriate?

Simply this. Her bereavement leave and grief is fuck all to do with you.

Seriously?

Your colleague is likely to have been signed off for stress/not coping by her GP. This has nothing to do with the allocated 3 days for bereavement.

If you want to complain it should not be about your colleague's situation but about management's failure to deal with/allocate better the added workload.

As a manager I would appreciate you coming to me about the workload issue but questioning your colleague's leave when you know sod all about the details of their situation? I would see that as incredibly poor form and would tell you that this is frankly none of your business.