To complain about the amount of bereavement leave a colleagues has been given

I'm " get on with it" person too...
But sometimes practical or other circumstances mean that isn't an option

I was given a long compassionate leave in circumstances where "getting on with it" just practically was not possible

This. The problem isn't the extent of her leave, it's the fact management are doing nothing to mitigate the impact of her leave on the team.

You are certainly one of the less compassionate employees for the NHS. Have some empathy fgs

If she is grieving she needs to return when she feels ready. You can’t put a time limit on grief. When my Dad died I was off for two months and returned on a phased return. I couldn’t have been able to do my job sooner.

As someone else said, the issue isn't your colleague taking time off, it's the lack of cover provided when someone is off

If they don't give her the leave I imagine they know she would need to go off sick instead.

I once had three weeks compassionate leave despite our policy saying we could only have a few days. I always look back and know that that decision to grant me that time is the only reason I didn't completely fall apart.

Yes YABU. A month really isn’t that long and 3 days is pitiful.

Complain about the fact that they haven’t arranged for sufficient cover/ won’t approve toil/ have unrealistic expectations but, honestly, unless you’re working 12 hours a day without a break 7 days a week, this will just sound like moaning.

Apart from the TOIL thing, surely there’s no option for them to refuse full stop under the policy? At my work they can refuse a particular set of dates but not just refuse it or they have to offer payment in lieu.

Good lord.

The OP clearly stated:

• She doesn't begrudge her colleague the time
• She personally inputs the leave into the system and it's not sick leave
• Her issue is with management approving this leave without considering the implications on the rest of the team

Is the post going through a "make OP horrible" translator for everyone or something?

People get maternity lrave. In the nhs, that is hardly ever covered.
Bereavement affects peole in different ways. What do you think is causing her to take so long?
You're in the nhs, some compassion from the team perhaps

Of course you would be unreasonable to complain about this.

She could have taken a month off sick and then phased return and the consequence for you would have still been the same...over worked and too stretched.

How her time off is taken doesnt matter and frankly is absolutely none of your business.

What is your business is the workload...you need to speak to management about the workload and how it is unsustainable and refuse to work anymore toil.

The phased return makes me think she's been signed off sick too, even if you're convinced she hasn't. Only time I've ever had a phased return was coming back after a mental health crisis. My colleagues were told I was on bereavement leave as well because my mental health is none of their business, only my manager, supervisor and HR knew why I was actually off.

If you must complain, complain about your manager being incompetent, not covering the department properly, and having co-workers logging eachother's leave instead of doing it themself. Leave your poor colleague out of it, it's hard enough coming back after an extended break without it potentially reaching her ears that one of her co-worker thinks she has had too much time off for their liking.

Go ahead but it will make you look awful. You have no idea of her circumstances.

If they're not ready to come back to work (understandable) then they'd be signed off anyway if not on bereavement, so how the absence is coded is irrelevant.

The issue is the lack of resource and the workload, neither of which are the colleagues problem and are likely a big contributor to requiring a phased return. That's your issue.

A month is no time at all. As others have said, the issue is about being understaffed, not about humans needing time to reel from shock, as the latter is part of life and death and not something we have much control over, whereas, knowing this will happen, we can prepare by ensuring we're not understaffed when it does.

This

I wouldn’t complain about the leave OP I would complain about the lack of cover and foresight from management that significant cover would be needed. Please speak to your manager, managers manager or HR about your team getting burned out and ask for a solution. Also flag that you are all being denied TOIL.

YABU
The death of a mother is devastating and three days isn't nearly enough to process that. So unless you want her back at work in tears and fragile...

Your current workload is your responsibility to manage with your colleagues and that's the only thing you should mention to your manager, being realistic about what can or can't be done.

Talking about your colleague's time off for bereavement is quite frankly none of your business and if your colleague gets wind of it you'll be seen as being petty, cruel and having a lack of compassion.

IIn all honesty it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s between the manager and the staff member.

complaining about something like this after someone losses their mum is disgusting!

Go and complain to the manager about you not managing the workload but don’t complain about the bereavement leave.

To reiterate what everyone else is saying OP you are complaining about the wrong thing, the real issue your team has is lack of cover arranged for absence not that your poor colleague is being given a reasonable amount of bereavement leave, if you complain based on that people will lose respect for you because you will sound like a complete arse.

YANBU for how you feel, your management should have got cover in

But, losing a mother is going to hit hard and without knowing the circumstances it could have been expected or it could have been sudden. A funeral could take 2 weeks to arrange and have and there is a lot to sort out after that but also grieving. Personally a month is the least I would take off.

Wow heartless

Her mum has died, fuck work.

It doesn't matter why she is off work. You raising 'it shouldn't be bereavement leave' doesn't highlight the right thing (and makes you look like an arse...)

The issue is cover and how this happens.

You usually get 3 days leave following a bereavement? It's not even enough time to properly arrange a funeral for them! 3 days is a disgracefully pitiful period of time.

You need to be complaining to management regarding the extra workload, that a small team is having to cover. Management should have tried to cover the bereavement leave by your colleague, rather than expecting everyone else to cover. I understand the leave was unexpected, but if you are on 'the front line' as in nursing, surely someone temporary could have been drafted in? If you're team is more admin based, again a temp could have been employed to cover the extra. It sounds as if management don't want to pay-out on employing someone temporary, and are expecting existing staff members to simply cover. This situation is not your colleagues fault, it's down to management to do their job and manage.

I don't think you are nasty OP just worn down. I expect you and your colleagues are exhausted and many of you had to work and grieve without adequate leave before.
If you all stopped cramming additional work in, let things build up and ask for help your management would see the issue. At the moment you are all suffering from exhaustion.
Do you have a union who could support you?

What it's logged as doesn't make a tap of difference to your issue - that you're struggling with the increased workload. If it was recorded as sick leave rather than bereavement that wouldn't improve things in the slightest. You're narked off about the wrong thing.