To think DP's Ex is selfish - RANT

This is what infuriates me if they were genuinely struggling I wouldn't mind one bit, I wouldn't see anyone struggle but for the love of god put your child first

So why not apply that logic to your partner @kiana2015 when you’ve previously stated he pays for no food, nothing for your own child and nothing to furnish your shared house because he needs £200 a week to piss up a wall plus money for treats.

Put that anger about how money is spent in your own house and leave Clare alone.

Forgot to add, why are you letting her dictate your days out? None of her business. Do what you want on your own time.

It’s a bloody good idea, I wish we had thought of that. How dare the scabby ex use child maintenance to pay for her nails then claim she has no money to feed her kid! I’d say that’s pretty low.

As MN constantly says, the father is paying for his child, NOT for the ex. Then the ex proves you wrong and spends it on herself and everyone thinks that’s ok?!

@kiana2015 you’ll get very little sympathy on here, mums are whiter than white according to MN. My partner also has a freeloading ex and it drives us mad. She pays for nothing except her own bills (which she’d be paying for anyway) and DSS food. She won’t even buy him clothes! She has him 50:50 yet my partner pays a fuckload of voluntary ‘maintenance’ because he knows she’ll make his son suffer if he doesn’t. So I understand the need to rant, there’s just better places to do it than MN.

Also I find it rather hypocritical that PP are accusing you of ‘stalking’ the ex when they’re searching through your previous posts to find out your history!

Housing my child including utilities = £1400
Food / nappies £200pm
Kids clubs, classes £100
Getting my nails done once a month =£20.

Even this is true I don’t begrudge Claire her small luxury every month when it sounds like she is caring for Ex’s kids full time & working.

The problem should be with your DP not his ex.

I also challenge how much you genuinely do know about her life.

“Helping my mates stack things in his garage that fell off the back of a van”

If she’s buying herself luxuries and not leaving enough to feed her child then I wouldn’t be sending extra money. If she texts because she can’t afford to feed her son one night then say you’ll pick him up and take him for tea or drop him some food at home. However if your DP is happy to send money and you don’t have joint finances then it’s his decision.
As for the days out, I just wouldn’t even tell the ex it’s none of her business what a dad does with his kids on his time

Except its BS because you can't choose to do this with a formal CMA arrangement

I'm surprised Claire gets anything out of him to be honest. Everything I've read stinks of "working cash in hand for my mate's Dad's scaffolding company"

It does when you factor in that the dad can't afford to house his kid because he spends all his money on gaming and drinking. It's very unlikely that the dad is paying half of what the child actually costs to house, feed, entertain etc. so the state gives her benefits to fill the gap. He can't afford even his own costs (because of drinking) but borrows from OP every month.

You are being absolutely ridiculous. Apart from the fact her financial situation and what she chooses to spend her money on is none of your business, you are making lots of assumptions.
If your DP pays her the minimum hes required to by the CMA then that will not cover anywhere near what she is spending on her child.
If shes in receipt of UC and also working, she will get one payment which is reduced based on her take home pay. She's getting what thousands of other people are getting.
If her DS lives with her full time she will have costs that come with running a home and caring for children that you dont even know about. And you sre moaning because she asks the child's father for extras occasionally.
Its not your money, its nothing to do with you. Dont be that step parent.

That makes no sense at all.

Your partner - and you - should be thankful for a benefits system that pays his child's rent and also supplements letscallherClaire's income to keep their child clothed and fed. Otherwise your partner would have to be paying for it. I believe you'd like that even less.

Have you told your dp to put his kids first? Or is that a job reserved for women?

I thought you didn’t get on with her? She actually said “I get 5 coffees a week”.

Is this the ex that your OH hangs out with and takes phone calls from behind your back?

Absolutely! @ERthree ate you not mortified at charging children for food?

Hope she reported her ex to CMS for under paying her then.

He can choose to spend extra, but he can't take it off his legal obligation.

This payment is for people on very low incomes so I imagine it’s needed

The fact OP seems to have to crowd source the most basic of queries, I imagine she is ripe for believing whatever nonsense Prince Sponger spins her about his ex and money.

You’d have been wearing the food if you’d done that to me. How low can you go?

Funny that my ex apparently pays for my super lavish lifestyle as well according to his girlfriend, my hair getting done all the time (a box of £6 hair dye every two months), and fancy drinks (I bought PG tips instead of asda basics one day when I was feeling flush and I bumped into him at the supermarket), going out all the time (the only time I leave the house is dog walks or the kids clubs).

She also says I withold the kids for extra money (he currently doesn't see them at all due to his house being unsuitable for overnights and him choosing not to see them during the day).

All this while I'm screwing him over for money (£212.34 per month for 2 dc, and not a penny more) and he gets the kids their clothes (his mum knits them a jumper every 6 months and he insists he keeps it at his so I don't steal them).

Your dp, according to your previous threads, is a selfish, lazy arsehole, so I'm more inclined to think he's spinning you a line and you're naive enough to fall for it, or you're trying to force yourself to believe you made a good choice, so you're placing the blame for everything on his ex. Either way, stop being a mug.