To think DP's Ex is selfish - RANT

Good for claire. I wish her the best.

This thread makes me think that child maintenance payments should ALL go through the CMS system, no exceptions, so RPs are getting fair amounts directly from earnings that NRPs can’t hold hostage because they had the gallantry to buy their kid a few potatoes

In fairness I was going off the OP's original posts!

I agree with later comments that the kid needs decent adults in his life full stop.

It's astonishing how many ex wives/partners with care of children spend every last penny of any maintenance on themselves and not on the children. There they go, swishing their shiny hair, flashing their nails, grinning with their expensive teeth while parading around in their newly bought clothes. That £7 a week goes a very long way. They're rolling in it.

It’s true though. Child maintenance belongs to children

Women claiming maintenance are not borrowing money. It’s for their child

I've just A/S the OP.

Oh dear.

I'd obviously taken this post at face value.

You can't just give your ex evouchers and take it out of maintenence.

You would be liable for the additional maintenence that you deducted.

The amount ops dp pays probably won't be anything even near half the cost of raising a child anyway.

And ops dp probably made up this story in order to borrow more from the op because he pisses all his money up the wall or spends it on gaming.

There's no way a random ex, who does 100% of the parenting, because ops dp can't, told op all about how much she spends on hair and nails and coffee, and then starts suddenly begging for more money because she hasn't got enough for food.

Well, it might be in his interest since apart from signing papers, he'd not do anything else. The op would do it all, since that's how their 'relationship' works. And he'd have more money to go to the pub with and spend on games.

Go to the court for 50/50 shared care. No maintenance due, problem solved. What’s the betting your DH could be bothered to do that?

So why is it called the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) then?

Claire also stops us going on fun family days out
That's on your partner - he can tell her to jog on and he does what he wants in his free time.

Tell her to drop DS round at yours and you can feed him to save on her food bill.
I smell BS here.

Claire also stops us going on fun family days out as she states she can't afford to do this so it's not fair we should, which in turn causes DS to miss out

I don't understand this?

How does Claire stop you having fun days out? Surely you plan them on the days you have DSS and you pay.

I'd start sending her monthly evouchers for her local supermarket for food and take it out of what DP pays her.

As you know so much about Claire's business how is she managing to get all these benefits? I assume child is NT?

Always has to be one smart arse

Umm, the man in question runs out of money every month because he spends hundreds of pounds in the pub and on gaming equipment. He takes money off of OP every month to cover his expenses.

Absolutely. I feel there’s so many kids getting a crappy deal by selfish parents on both sides. No wonder kids MH is low

Perhaps controversially, I can see where you're coming from OP.

Imagine the scenario without any children involved - let's say it's a friend instead.

OP's friend has been getting herself lots of takeaways and getting her nails and lashes done at least monthly, but then can't afford to pay her electric bill so asks to borrow money from OP to cover it.

Most people would say that OP's friend should have budgeted better and not rely on handouts from other people, so why is it any different when it's an ex and kids are involved?

I agree with PP suggestion that you'll buy the food for the kids, rather than give her the money. Whether you can then deduct that from the child maintenance contribution is more of a murky line I think.

But why don't you just take DSS when you want to? What can she do?

lol….i have the same thoughts on a vast majority of mumsnet posts!

1000%. Got to remember it’s a Wednesday morning and a lot of posters will be unemployed or underemployed and on benefits. Skews the responses towards a lack of accountability and personal responsibility.

(Not saying OP’s husband is a saint - I haven’t done the background research that other posters clearly have)

Didn't know he didn't have a bedroom for them. After reading g other comments it's sounds like the poor kid needs better adults in his life

I haven't seen other posts from OP so just based it on what she's said on this thread. If that's the case then it sounds like a shitshow and they should all be working together to achieve stability for the child

Does claire actually tell you about all her coffee dates, hair appointments and nail dos? As that’s an odd thing to tell the other woman isn’t it? Or are you just guessing how she spends her money ? its odd that she would tell you what she is wasting her money on and then asking for food money . I do my own nails ( fancy) with stick ons (£12) and go to a cafe where often my friend pays as she knows I’m struggling financially, this week I was accused of getting my hair done but in fact it was washed and brushed ! 😂 so I could be claire ! Albeit a budget one!

Remove your nose from Claires business, you know more about her than I know about most people's weekly movements. Let it go, stop focusing your bile on her and let your DP seperate from her.

She doesn't stop you going on fun days out. Don't be daft.

Edited: have just read the OPs other posts. You're unhappy and things are shit for you, but you're angry and ranting about the wrong person. Claire is well out of it, don't blame her for that.

Yes council tax reduction is seperate HOWEVER as she is working she will only be getting the 25% single adult discount so not a top up more like cash off the top

Highly unlikely UC will be paying ALL her rent because she works again most likely a small amount