To ask this about abusive parents ?

I don't think some of them see it as abuse and they lie to themselves that it's justified so they can act shocked when the child goes off the rails or struggles in life.
I think it's usually people who are very self absorbed naturally or due to addiction issues.. or people who lack emotional maturity and insight into themselves.
In short I think most abusers just either justify their behaviour to themselves or are in complete denial

It's not even conscious sometimes. It's just who they are and they don't even question it.

Power. The power to wipe that joyful smile off their little face.

Hurt people hurt people

Snap, well apart from me thinking they regret anything. They didn't/don't have the emotionally maturity/intelligence for that. They don't self reflect.

@LittleRedRidingHoody absolutely agree, and well done for being brave and saying it. I’m the same. I’m in therapy and I’m trying so so hard. I’m not a violent person, at all, I’m a people pleaser, introverted and quiet. Never been in trouble in my life. But with my children, I can feel such rage and that I want to hurt (physically) and punish them. It’s almost dehumanised / disassociated. When I’m pushed to the edge (as all small children do), I want to slam her head into the wall.

I never have, by the way, I’m just saying it’s frightening that it exists somewhere inside of me.

I think few abusive parents enjoy it. Most have their own trauma or attachment issues which lead to their actions. Not an excuse at all, but definitely a reason.

That's the point of it - to destroy any glimmers of self confidence.

Nothing like cats, though. Cats are instinctive predators, there's no moral expectations that cats can understand and can then choose to abandon for pleasure. They're not human, they're cats.

I'm shocked by how naturally it can come if you grew up with it. I grew up in a very verbally and emotionally abusive environment and I swore DS would never experience the same - thinking it takes a conscious effort. But sometimes something truly awful finds it's way right to the tip of my tongue and I have to bite it back. If I hadn't put in the time/effort/therapy/hours of anxious worrying into exactly how I'd deal with those words if I thought them (Ie never, ever say them) I imagine I could've said plenty without really noticing.

My parents were abusive but not intentionally. They were just wrapped up in themselves, affairs, drinking, violence etc. They didn’t dislike me as such, they were just immature and preoccupied with their own stuff. I have become the adult I needed in return, never gave them a day of trouble and now they see me with my own children and feel deep regret I’d imagine. My brother is eyeballs deep in therapy and doesn’t speak to them. I’ve chosen to thrive instead and just tell them they did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Pointless holding grudges.

I’ve never understood it. It’s like wanting your dc to fail. It’s so much harder for those who don’t have the support of a good parent. The ones I know I think are extremely self centred narcissists. I know one who’s jealous of their dc. I just can’t imagine not wanting the absolute best for your own dc.

They enjoy it. A bit like how some cats enjoy torturing small animals.