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AIBU?

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What do you have no bandwidth for

178 replies

ToxicFrenemy · 04/02/2025 18:32

Having caught up with women's hour from the other day there was a chat about what fo you no longer have the bandwidth for. What are you now no longer doing, to keep yourself sane! Eg not making everyone's beds or picking up socks whatever

Anyway as it was an old one now, I couldn't text in but found that really interesting so wanted to ask "what do you no longer have the bandwidth for..."

I'll go first!!!! 2022 dh and I gave far too much of ourselves to friends who were going through a hard time, they seperated and it was awful They both needed alot of emotional support it was constant. We were supporting on both camps. Our marriage suffered with the emotional strain. And I get divorce is HARD but it nearly brought us to divorce and so we now no longer have the bandwidth to overly emotionally support others in that way outwith our marriage

Aibu? Or what's your own bandwidth boundaries

OP posts:
Tricho · 04/02/2025 18:57

The expression "to (not) have bandwidth for".

WhoWhereWhatWhy · 04/02/2025 18:56

Listening to my mum moan shout my dad! They’ve been married 55 years, he’s always been the same, you’ve accepted it all this time. Why do you think he will change now?

Meadowfinch · 04/02/2025 18:53

An intimate relationship.

I'm 61, have a ds(16) and a full time job.

My standard week is
Weekdays - up at 6.45, shower, dress, get ds up, make breakfast, leave at 7.30.
Start work at 8am, leave at 5pm, collect ds from bus, go home, relax for an hour. cook supper, tidy up, maybe do a bit of ironing or clean the bathroom. Eat with ds, be interested in ds' homework. load the dish washer. Watch tv for an hour, go to bed.

Saturday - ParkRun, shower, food shop, breakfast with ds. Washing, shopping, lunch, spend time with ds, haircuts, maybe coffee with a friend. Cook supper, eat with ds, maybe plat chess or scrabble, or tidy up, sleep.
Sunday - Batch cook, clean car, tidy the garden or go biking with ds then a shared fitness class. Cook, eat , make sure we are ready for the new week. Sleep

How does anyone find time for a partner?