DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

Pampering no. Crikey, this isn’t a spa sanctuary.

Chocolate yes. 200g high cocoa content chocolate each month. Virtually a human right.

Because it's MN and anyone who struggles with their periods is weak or a baby or just needs to go and see a doctor.

It's bloody depressing, really.

Oh my dear Lord !!! My mum had no clue about my periods !!

Just buy her some bloody chocolate. A large bar is about 35p at Lidl.

It's awful that this thread has turned into a Four Yorkshiremen competitive who is the toughest (and least empathetic)

I used to have to pick DD up from school when painkillers wouldn't touch the pain.

It is the reason she started taking the pill, which has helped significantly.

I'm not sure why some people think a bit of occasional pampering of your daughter or indeed anyone you love is such a heinous crime.

' we always have nice things and everything they need'

except make up remover ?

I'm past having periods now, but remember clearly just how rotten I felt during mine, sick, painful, upset stomach, back pain. Easily enough to keep one home from school or work if it wasn't 'just ' a period. I used to feel really unwell and would have loved a little care.

So my d gets that care I wanted, I'll run her a bath, fill her hot water bottle and fetch her whatever she fancies to eat. I want her to feel looked after. I'm her mum, it's what I'm for. When I'm unwell I hope for similar care.

@NightFeeds very sweet, what's grovelling got to do with it.
And I wouldn't mention sweats and all the rest.

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

You might consider that acceptable behaviour in your house, I disagree.

However, I'm sure you read on, and saw that we did agree that she should have some chocolate.

Wow its the school of hard knock around here isn't it? Since when has one humble bar of chocolate become pampering and raising brats?

Do men have to go through this? Why even bring them into it.
One measly fucking bar of chocolate for a girl whose biggest threat and killer and beater and abuser is men! Who don't go though this.

Give them a bar of bloody choclate and a hot water bottle

I just think people who sneer at women wanting a bit of a break during their period are the same who sneer after women give birth and crow “I delivered my placenta and 2 minutes later went back to work down t’ mines and I was absolutely fine!”

Yes precisely and actually no one is saying that ALL women need bubble baths and galaxy, but lots of us do and that doesn't make us weak. Lack of empathy is a much bigger character weakness.

Please don't teach your son that periods are grim, icky or that all women feel low energy. Some of us don't at all!

Teach your son that some women have grim periods. And if they're really grim, they should support their partner to get medical help. But many women don't want to be treated any differently as it is really a non event

But what wrong with hiding in the bath with a bar of Galaxy? Whats wrong with relaxing when our periods make us unwell or uncomfortable. Personally I can’t stand competitive stiff upper lip behaviour

@NightFeeds whilst you are at it teach him that women can't 'hold it in' there are a shocking number of boys (I taught the menstrual cycle at Secondary) and even men who believe that it all works the same as urinating/defecating because of course that's their experience. A surprising number don't realise that there is no biological control on how the blood actually leaves the body

FFS
As women
Can we not all agree that one woman/girls experience is not another's. And the medical profession and society don't treat women and their symptoms as seriously or equally.

Mine were bloody debilitating and cost me
Lots and lots of time of school and work.
Fainting. Vomiting, agony &
I always wanted to eat a man made of
Chips holding a bar of galaxy!

My mum was an arse, as "it's just the way it is"
Not forgotten

(Latterly - in my 40s diagnosed with endometriosis) after being told it's normal

If it's easy for you - great. Aren't you lucky

It's hell on earth for others and this poor kid wants her mam to treat her kindly.

And some
Of
The names on here are REGULAR posters on the "feminist" boards - ha.

To quote another poster: laid low on the sofa for a week a month

We only have a DS but in all honesty this threats had made me think what message I would Like To pass.

I think as soon as he in old enough to understand that women have periods I am going to teach him:
a) they are grim, the poor girl/woman will feel icky, probably have hormonal skin, maybe headaches, maybe cramps, maybe sweats. That bleeding isn’t nice. This isn’t their fault. Dont
mock their skin or bloat.
b) that there are unavoidable hormonal swings associated with periods and that girls may be more easily offended or less tolerant or less secure around this time
c) that food needs to remain nutritious around this time but that added treats are absolutely essential
d) that low energy is completely expected for a 1-4 day window without complaint but also without writing off other overall fitness intentions
e) that irrespective of all the above no woman has the right to behave completely rudely, be utterly out of control or otherwise be unmanageably challenging during this time unless they are actively seeking medical assistance. Also that they shouldnt assume a woman at this time of the month will struggle or fail.

By this I mean I want my son to have respect and empathy for women’s cycles without the stress of feeling he has to accept any and all behaviour no matter how extreme.

i wouldn’t want to see him literally grovelling at a woman and have to pamper to
a detrimental effect, but what’s actually wrong with a bit of love and fuss at a time if a woman feeling at best sub-par?

In that situation I would let your dd take the lead, just being there for her when she needs you is fine. She'll sharp let you know what she wants I'm sure. Hopefully she'll have the freedom to get herself some chocolate from the shop with pocket money if she wants it.

Honestly my dm was useless when I got my period at 13, she'd had a hysterectomy about 5 years before, and apparently this meant she knew nothing about them, or what products to get. She threw a huge pack of massive thick pads on my bed (they were long and super thick, like for women who have just given birth). I cried when I tried one, because you could see it through my underwear and it was huge, so I ended up getting my own eventually, I told her they were wrong. I learnt from a friend whose Mum had gotten her appropriate smaller thinner size pads for a 13 year old, and was shocked she had little scented bags to put them in. It was so different.
On the plus side I had pocket money so could get chocolate when I wanted. The memory of dm acting so cold and awkwardly haunts me to this day though.

I'm menopausal so it's all over for me.

I never needed someone to make a fuss over me when I had a period. I didn't ever have pain beyond the reach of paracetamol, I didn't get PMT and I didn't crave chocolate. It was annoying and tedious but I really wouldn't have appreciated anyone - mum or husband - making any kind of fuss

Whilst I do get your point about minimising sime wome 's realities, I also don't think we should be reinforcing the idea that normal female bodily functions mean that we all need to hide in a bubble bath clutching a bar of Galaxy.

It may not be a cure but it’s a huge comfort.

This. Chocolate is not a cure. Give her some paracetamol and a hot water bottle.

DD used coffee and chocolate as crutches when pain was bad. She now has an implant which has lessened the cramps though increased the length and number of periods. She still prefers this to the debilitating pain she went through one day each month.

Gosh, what a lovely Mum you have, it's great she is fit and healthy. My dm hasn't cooked for me since I was I think 19. I'm now in my late 30s and always running around after everyone else! Sorry...I digress