Page 3 | DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

Homeymum2 · 2025-02-04T16:35:53+00:00

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling - I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

Teenagehorrorbag · 05/02/2025 21:34

Only read the first page but the consensus seems to be 'buy chocolate'!

I agree in principle. But it depends if your DD has problems with her periods. Some do and I would buy anything that made them more comfortable. My DD (16) has no major issues (obviously no-one loves being on) so if she used it as an excuse to demand chocolate I'd just laugh.

We don't usually have chocolate bars in the house unless it's just after Christmas or Easter, but do have biscuits and chocolate biscuits, and probably chocolate sponge puddings. Plus hot chocolate. So I wouldn't do extra......

Aroundthetwistyvines · 05/02/2025 21:27

I have chocolate when I'm not on my period 😳

Vinomummyinlockdown · 05/02/2025 21:25

Have YOU not had this craving?! I always get my daughter a choccy treat on her period. I have the same. We live a healthy lifestyle. Life is about comfort sometimes! Buy her some frikkin chocolate

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 21:17

BM1989 · 05/02/2025 21:15

Oooo bloody hell size 6, PHD and treats once a month. This is why mumsnet is ace. Its so extreme 😂

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Again, you're being silly. I'm pointing out to you that eating chocolate and being looked after when you're on a period does not equate to obesity and an inability to work and study.

Are you okay?

BM1989 · 05/02/2025 21:15

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 21:05

What a silly post. I'm a size 6 and always have been. I eat chocolate probably once a month as that's the only time I have a sweet tooth. I also have a PhD and work in an extremely professional career. Treats and love from family once a month when you're feeling shit aren't going to hinder that.

My DC also don't really have sweet tooths. They also don't care about clothes or skincare. But if they've done well or feel shit, too right they're getting the chocolate. I teach balance. Worked damn well for me.

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Oooo bloody hell size 6, PHD and treats once a month. This is why mumsnet is ace. Its so extreme 😂

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 21:13

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 21:11

I'm sorry BC didn't work for you, it really was a life changer for me. Wfh and a hot water bottle, also lots of choc lol 😆 xxx

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I'm glad it was a game changer for you, though! I've heard amazing things and I'm jealous. 😁 And hey - even Remus Lupin said chocolate was good, so I'm taking it as fact haha! 🤣 xxx

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 21:11

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 19:38

Just a case of muddling through, though I'm lucky to work from home and my role is very senior so very flexible. I try to organise my workload so it's not as heavy when I know I'm due. I used to hate being in the office years ago. Felt like a nauseous zombie. Always very glad to come home to a hot bath and cuddles back then.

Unfortunately the mirena did nothing for me! Tried all forms of BC and it really just seemed to have awful side effects, on top of the periods. 🤦‍♀️ So DH is snipped and I'm just scoffing chocolate, haha!

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I'm sorry BC didn't work for you, it really was a life changer for me. Wfh and a hot water bottle, also lots of choc lol 😆 xxx

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 21:05

BM1989 · 05/02/2025 21:02

I don't like to see my kids go with out. But I would rather buy them good skin care products and nice clothes than chocolate / sweets / pop

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What a silly post. I'm a size 6 and always have been. I eat chocolate probably once a month as that's the only time I have a sweet tooth. I also have a PhD and work in an extremely professional career. Treats and love from family once a month when you're feeling shit aren't going to hinder that.

My DC also don't really have sweet tooths. They also don't care about clothes or skincare. But if they've done well or feel shit, too right they're getting the chocolate. I teach balance. Worked damn well for me.

BM1989 · 05/02/2025 21:02

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 20:35

Me neither. I'd rather go without something than see the DC miss out. I'm not a martyr and they're not spoiled by any means, but if there's something they want that I can give them and there's no reason they shouldn't have it...I don't see why they can't.

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I don't like to see my kids go with out. But I would rather buy them good skin care products and nice clothes than chocolate / sweets / pop

BM1989 · 05/02/2025 21:00

Erm last time I checked there was a crisis in this country with fatties. Why encourage chocolate as a go too. I eat way too much chocolate to feel better it doesnt work you just feel shit after and fed up.

Also periods are annoying and everything else that goes with it. Butttttt got to get on with it. Send girls to school because when they have full time jobs they cant take a week off every month.

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 20:35

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 20:23

Oh ok. Not my style of parenting.

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Me neither. I'd rather go without something than see the DC miss out. I'm not a martyr and they're not spoiled by any means, but if there's something they want that I can give them and there's no reason they shouldn't have it...I don't see why they can't.

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 20:23

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 20:13

She's got another thread running complaining that she doesn't want to spend a couple of quid in Aldi on makeup remover for her. 🙃 Facewash only apparently! Can't push the boat out!

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Oh ok. Not my style of parenting.

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 20:13

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 20:09

Has OP got form for not being a warm and fuzzy mum? (For want of a better term).

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She's got another thread running complaining that she doesn't want to spend a couple of quid in Aldi on makeup remover for her. 🙃 Facewash only apparently! Can't push the boat out!

Madgirl25 · 05/02/2025 20:12

And yeah I do pamper my dd a bit when she is on run a bath and tidy her room up to make it nice, cook her her face dinner mainly cos it's nice to be nice and we suffer really shit period is in our family. I think we treat our kids how we want others to treat them and how we want them to treat others

Madgirl25 · 05/02/2025 20:10

I'd just give the girl some chocolate. It just gets made a bigger deal otherwise

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 20:09

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 15:21

Judging by OP's other posts and threads about her DD, I don't actually think she's doing either. What's very likely happened is the poor girl has asked, OP has said no (a quid for makeup remover?! Horror! Sharing some of her chocolate?! Never!), and her DD has pushed back. Likely tried to explain to OP that her friends get these things, maybe got stroppy as 14 year olds do...because why wouldn't she?

Can easily imagine it to have gone as this;

DD: Mum, can I have a piece of your chocolate?

OP: No, you finished yours. This is mine.

DD: But I'm on my period!

OP: So? I don't need chocolate on my period.

DD: That's not fair! I just wanted some of your chocolate. God, my friends parents pamper them and all sorts when they're on.

OP: <Immediately takes to MN in another miserly rant about her teenage DD>

I'd be hurt if DH wouldn't give me a couple of pieces of his chocolate, just because I finished mine over a month ago. Especially when I was in discomfort.

OP just comes across as tight fisted.

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Has OP got form for not being a warm and fuzzy mum? (For want of a better term).

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 20:07

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:22

That's lovely for you both. When you are at work though what helps during the day? I was so grateful for the mirena coil, stops periods and all the nastiness, would highly recommend. Xx

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To add - it definitely didn't stop me working or studying. I'm qualified to PhD and in a very good career. Having nice things and love at home never meant I didn't go to work or life stood still, though now as a senior manager I've many times told an employee to go home if I know they're struggling. Most say no and they'll muddle through, but the option is there for them when I can manage it. Periods are shit. I know a few women who've ended up in hospital when they're on, I class myself as lucky for just feeling the pains I deal with.

BunnyLake · 05/02/2025 20:04

Dearnurse · 05/02/2025 14:58

My daughter is 14 I buy her chocolate on her period when I get her pads to be nice, I don't pamper her though whatever that means 🤣 i would get her a hot water bottle if she asked ? but I'd buy her chocolate if she asked me anyway .. she has a go henry card though so she buys what she wants mostly x

I think some MNrs interpret it as mothers running their dd a bath of asses milk while dd drinks herbal tea from a golden cup and has chocolates fed to her by a eunuch from ancient Eygpt. Or it could just be a bar of Tesco’s chocolate and a how are you feeling now, pet?

elliottsmum67 · 05/02/2025 19:53

Demanding daughter or designated driver???? PLEASE STOP WITH THE CONSTANT ABBREVIATIONS................!!!!!!

GiddyRobin · 05/02/2025 19:38

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:22

That's lovely for you both. When you are at work though what helps during the day? I was so grateful for the mirena coil, stops periods and all the nastiness, would highly recommend. Xx

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Just a case of muddling through, though I'm lucky to work from home and my role is very senior so very flexible. I try to organise my workload so it's not as heavy when I know I'm due. I used to hate being in the office years ago. Felt like a nauseous zombie. Always very glad to come home to a hot bath and cuddles back then.

Unfortunately the mirena did nothing for me! Tried all forms of BC and it really just seemed to have awful side effects, on top of the periods. 🤦‍♀️ So DH is snipped and I'm just scoffing chocolate, haha!

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:24

lechatnoir · 04/02/2025 17:03

I had to read through quite a few messages before I got to something resembling normality. I have never heard of this, my mum was lovely but we didn't do this and I do t know anyone else who does this.Surely your period is something you have to get used to dealing with for 30+ years and whilst sympathy and paracetamol maybe a hot water bottle are all standard, this OTT pander sessions are really odd and surely not sustainable longer term (and then what, they need days off work, partners to run around after them?)

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Indeed. So many years of heavy and painful periods, just got on with it. The pill helps a lot and the coil. X

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:22

GiddyRobin · 04/02/2025 16:56

My DH looks after me every month. I don't ask, but I reliably get treats, baths, nice meals, back massages. He does those things anyway but they ramp up when I'm on. What's wrong with that? I'm not a female soldier. I'm a grown woman who gets cramps so bad I feel nauseas when I'm on. Why the fuck wouldn't my DH do nice things for me? 🤣

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That's lovely for you both. When you are at work though what helps during the day? I was so grateful for the mirena coil, stops periods and all the nastiness, would highly recommend. Xx

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:20

ERthree · 04/02/2025 16:53

And here is the reason why we have entitled adults. Having a period is part of normal life for females. Who pampers you every month? Do you take to your bed for the duration ? Women died for the women of today to be taken seriously and to be treated as equals and attitudes like this set us back half a century. Can you imagine a female soldier on the front line demanding time for a pamper session because she has her period ? No she just has to bloody well get on with it.

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Agree, it will lead to an expectation that oh I'm on my period so I can't study/go to work because I need to pamper. Oh I think it already has lol 😆 Fortunately now there is so much help with heavy painful periods, which I was finally able to get a bit later in life.

Deeperthantheocean · 05/02/2025 19:14

The whole pamper thing, really? Those Mums surely don't get pampered when on so why instill this ? Chocolate fine, just have some in, anytime really as surely it's a prerequisite for any household? Xx

bumblebee1987 · 05/02/2025 18:39

My DD is only 5 so we have a bit of time yet, but I will absolutely be supplying chocolate and whatever else she wants (within reason!) when she's on her period. I'm 37 and I still hate periods as much as the day I started them 🤣 (I don't and will not pass this on to her though, I will be grown up about it!) Grossly unfair to me that 50% of the population have to put up with this utter crap, and the absolute pile of crap that is women's health that goes with it. If we need chocolate and face masks to get us through it, then so be it!