Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD demanding chocolate when she's on her period

614 replies

Homeymum2 · 04/02/2025 16:35

My 14 yo DD insists that all her friends parents buy them chocolates and pamper them when they are cycling -

I'm being told I'm a terrible mum and badgered for chocolates

Am I an outlier to not cater to this?

OP posts:
northwestgirl · 04/02/2025 18:42

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:31

It may surprise you to find out that research and innovation has happened in the last 50 years.

Show quote history

research you say? interesting, do share

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:41

LooksThroughaGlass · 04/02/2025 18:40

Indeed.

We never buy any of that.

I've not had any of those for at least 35 years.

Show quote history

Oh we’ve slid into competitive under eating. Hurrah!

Stretch · 04/02/2025 18:41

My ex H is a twat, but one of the good things he used to do (before the girls stopped seeing him) was when learning they were on their period, he’d slide a bar of chocolate under their door, usually with a note and a jokey thing written on it.
Was a bit of fun and made them feel slightly better about it all.
It’s one bar of chocolate, that’s given when they’re feeling low or hormonal once a month.

I always thought it was a nice thing. Shame he was a twat in all other ways 🤷‍♀️

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:41

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:39

Op said her DD demanding chocolate.

Show quote history

OP clearly is a tight arse with slight delusions of victimhood, all I can see is a teenager on her period who hasn’t made chocolate last 7 weeks

Also teenage girls can be demanding. So what. We probably were as teens. They don’t need to be on top form 100% of the time, they’re allowed to get pissed of at parental meanness

LooksThroughaGlass · 04/02/2025 18:40

Comedycook · 04/02/2025 18:15

Just had a look in my cupboard....we've got twirls, galaxy ripples, toffee crisps, mint aeros and freddo bars. There's also a chocolate fudge cake and come chocolate cookies.

I'm sure it would make the anti upf crew faint!

Indeed.

We never buy any of that.

I've not had any of those for at least 35 years.

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:39

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:39

Asked not demanded

Show quote history

If he’d said no I’d have certainly demanded it

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:39

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:38

She asked, like the OP’s DD asked, and made a fair point that she has deserved it. If I constantly said “No where the chocolate from 7 weeks ago” I would understand her being upset

Show quote history

Op said her DD demanding chocolate.

Wronso · 04/02/2025 18:39

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:27

I feel rather sad for people who think taking care of an add on their period is laughable and are all “Haha just because you’re on your period it doesn’t mean you have special treatment, nobody looks after ME on MINE!”

Being a teenager is hard, and being a girl is hard, why on earth wouldn’t you want the opportunity to be nice to your kid and look after them rather than sneering at their discomfort? Why wouldn’t you want better for your DD than what you have?

I agree. My periods are sometimes reasonable other times horrendous. My DD gets lots of sympathetic understanding and the best quality chocolate for her to help herself to if she feels the need. Sometimes it’s been a very much appreciated. I also think about meal plans a little bit more beforehand, to be sure she especially gets those foods that are supposed to be good for you. Everyone benefits from being pampered at times.

healthybychristmas · 04/02/2025 18:39

I do it for my daughter and she's in her 30s! If she's home then I'll buy it and when she's in her own home sometimes I can tell she's down and know it's because of her period and I use Co-op delivery to send her goodies! There is no harm in being kind to your daughter when she is having a period.

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:39

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:37

Really?

I was a bit under the weather at the weekend and asked my DH to go get me stuff from the shop. I’ve wasn’t being manipulated it’s called being nice

Show quote history

Asked not demanded

Starlight7080 · 04/02/2025 18:38

Is she demanding it like in a spoilt way . Or just asking can she have chocolate and commenting that her friends have some during periods.
FYI it does help . My dd sometimes faints and gets very sick during her period . A bit of sugar really helps her feel better.

andthat · 04/02/2025 18:38

BadSil · 04/02/2025 18:13

Why not do indulge with pampering? Do you not like your children? Pampering just means, running a bath, preparing a hot water bottle, making some tea, sticking on a comfort show. What does this take away from you apart from 20 minutes of time? But it will show your daughter that she's loved and cared for, bolster her self-esteem, teach her that people who love you want to care for you.

This all day long.

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:38

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:36

Did she demand you do that though? That’s the difference.

Show quote history

She asked, like the OP’s DD asked, and made a fair point that she has deserved it. If I constantly said “No where the chocolate from 7 weeks ago” I would understand her being upset

Longma · 04/02/2025 18:37

Does she have pocket money she could go and buy extra?
Do you not buy chocolate in the house generally?

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:37

HonoraBridge · 04/02/2025 18:32

She is trying to manipulate you.

Edited

Really?

I was a bit under the weather at the weekend and asked my DH to go get me stuff from the shop. I’ve wasn’t being manipulated it’s called being nice

GiddyRobin · 04/02/2025 18:37

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:36

Haha it’s ok she can grow up and be my slave instead I’ll pay her in chocolate oranges 😂

Show quote history

Oh thank the Lord. I was worried you had emotional depth for a moment there! 🤣

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:36

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:33

I’m off to the shop now for my DD who wants a chocolate orange - she’s not on her period but she’s had a tiring day at school, is dealing with bitchy friends and got a load of merits last week so she deserves the £1.75 spent on her

Did she demand you do that though? That’s the difference.

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:36

GiddyRobin · 04/02/2025 18:34

Are you insane?! How will she ever hold down a job? Don't you know you're ruining her future chances at a fulfilling and self reliant life?!

😉

Show quote history

Haha it’s ok she can grow up and be my slave instead I’ll pay her in chocolate oranges 😂

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:35

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 04/02/2025 16:38

I agree with PP, surely there is some form of chocolate already in the house? If not I can't see why she can't be bought some. No need to 'pamper' her though.

No chocolate kept in my house on a regular basis. Probably buy some every now and then. It’s not a staple.

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:35

SpanThatWorld · 04/02/2025 18:33

Do you deliberately misinterpret messages on Mumsnet every day of the month too?

Do whatever makes you happy but I don't think we need to fuss over women specifically because they are having a period.

I only wear my sack on special occasions. Usually I just wrap myself in nettles.

Show quote history

Having a period is hard, painful and very uncomfortable especially for teens who are relatively new to it all. Why wouldn’t you take the opportunity to be a nice cool mum who gets it and makes the horrible days just a bit nicer?

Cant bear this “Don’t make a fuss!” Attitude around women’s issues, we need to stop doing it to ourselves, it only allows others to minimise our realities and is a round about way of saying STFU Woman

GiddyRobin · 04/02/2025 18:34

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:33

I’m off to the shop now for my DD who wants a chocolate orange - she’s not on her period but she’s had a tiring day at school, is dealing with bitchy friends and got a load of merits last week so she deserves the £1.75 spent on her

Are you insane?! How will she ever hold down a job? Don't you know you're ruining her future chances at a fulfilling and self reliant life?!

😉

Confused30somethings · 04/02/2025 18:34

At 14 years old she can go to the shop herself?

JandamiHash · 04/02/2025 18:33

I’m off to the shop now for my DD who wants a chocolate orange - she’s not on her period but she’s had a tiring day at school, is dealing with bitchy friends and got a load of merits last week so she deserves the £1.75 spent on her

SpanThatWorld · 04/02/2025 18:33

MrsSunshine2b · 04/02/2025 18:07

I have baths, fluffy socks and candles every day of the month. Cosy PJs, an oodie, an electric throw and often I even switch the heating on. Clearly, I missed the memo about keeping a spartan prison like home, taking a 2 minute cold shower a day and wearing a sack.

Show quote history

Do you deliberately misinterpret messages on Mumsnet every day of the month too?

Do whatever makes you happy but I don't think we need to fuss over women specifically because they are having a period.

I only wear my sack on special occasions. Usually I just wrap myself in nettles.

greengreyblue · 04/02/2025 18:32

She’s 14! I used to crave chocolate on my period too…… I went to the shop and bought it myself!