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AIBU?

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Original poster

I went into my boyfriend's cloud gallery and found pictures of his ex.

166 replies

josie384 · 04/02/2025 10:46

I am 24, he is 31.

My phone stopped working a few days ago so my boyfriend handed me his old phone (that he uses daily along with his new one). I went through the gallery and told him so, he agreed. In this gallery I found pictures from 2025 only. I was looking for pictures from 2024 from this trip we had to Hawaii. Then I found a cloud app. To my surprise it was with no password (He has everything encrypted, with passwords and has two phones).

I checked this cloud, I found the pictures from our trip I was looking for. I went further on this cloud here was a ton of pictures of his childhood girlfriend. Very old pictures kissing each other etc...
I felt like I wanted to vomit but then I thought everyone has a past. He talked me about his ex which they dated from 2010 til 2017 (but I found photos of them hooking up till 2020).

I said ok, those from 2010 are alright u know, you are young etc. Then I noticed he had pictures from 2019 of this woman wearing lingerie, very explicit photos and videos. And I confronted my boyfriend.

He of course said I had no business going through this cloud. I asked him why he kept those pictures, he said he didn't have time to delete them since they’re so many (from 2010, more than 40K photos). I told him to look into my eyes and tell me he didn't have them for another reason. He said he loves me and only me and that's why he took a 16 hour flight to spend 2 months with me.
I don't know what to think. I want to vomit. He never took pictures like that to me.

Like so many, naked, etc.. He said that recently he bought that cloud’s license and put all his hard drives there in that cloud but never checked photo by photo in order to delete it.
What should I do? This is my first long term relationship (we're together since 2020). And I have no clue about what's wrong, and what's right.

OP posts:
An0n1 · 04/02/2025 12:05

BigBlueEyes678 · 04/02/2025 10:58

So these are photos from before you were together? Not your business at all. I have thousands of photos with my exes since DH and I met when I was 31. I had a whole life before I met him.

This^ if there has been no overlap between you and his ex then this is absolutely nothing to do with you. You have completely overstepped and I'm not sure why you felt the need to confront him when- as you've said yourself- everyone has a past.

I wouldn't want an ex having photos like that of me - would you? If not then don't take photos like this with him.

Your behaviour is the issue here it's controlling and manipulative.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 12:04

BarneyRonson · 04/02/2025 12:02

I’m sorry you were shocked and upset. I can imagine it must have been disturbing to see explicit photos and realise your partner has done things with someone that they’ve never done with you.
even though you are upset, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong.
he’s fairly normal sounding on this one, it’s just that you found out something you didn’t expect.

thank you for your words

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 12:03

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 11:55

Bloody hell. You snooped and found photos of a relationship from before you and you’re getting upset?

Wow. Just wow.

no, some of them were at the same that that he was with me. those are the ones I care, not the ones 10 years ago

OP posts:
LazyArsedMagician · 04/02/2025 12:02

Grown man has photos of past relationships? Shut the front door.

I wouldn't like the explicit ones, but I'm too old for that to have been the norm anyway. But my husband was married before me, he had a life before me - of course he has thousands of pictures of that life!

Also - come on, you know that photos from phones get automatically uploaded to the cloud, have you really gone through and deleted every single one you might not like or want anymore? I know I haven't.

BarneyRonson · 04/02/2025 12:02

I’m sorry you were shocked and upset. I can imagine it must have been disturbing to see explicit photos and realise your partner has done things with someone that they’ve never done with you.
even though you are upset, he hasn’t actually done anything wrong.
he’s fairly normal sounding on this one, it’s just that you found out something you didn’t expect.

Artywoods · 04/02/2025 12:01

Meh all these people saying they wouldn’t snoop. I went through an entire box of my boyfriends past marriage….engagement ring, wedding pics, holiday photos. I knew it wasn’t perhaps ethically right but once I started I couldn’t stop 🤣

I didn’t feel much when I looked through it but knew what dress I wouldn’t have for our wedding.

I told him when he came home and we both laughed about it because I just couldn’t help myself. There weren’t any nudes etc so maybe it was easier. We’re now married and been together years.

I actually think these pics are a red herring. Does your partner make you feel secure and happy? I think if he did you might not feel like this x

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 12:00

beAsensible1 · 04/02/2025 11:15

You are so unbelievably out of order it’s unreal. The cloud is a back up/ hat drive of every photo taken.

To spend your time trawling through photos looking for something to be angry about and thinking you are in the right.

unless they’re pictures from when you are dating you are in the wrong. What a violation of trust from you.

if I let a trusted person use my phone and they find they have access to my cloud I expect them to log out. Not interrogate me about photos from a decade ago like a lunatic.

Edited

the most recent one was from 2 years ago, I didnt care about this others 10 years ago. but the recent ones

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 11:58

HappyNewFeckingYear · 04/02/2025 11:11

What should you do?

Be prepared to be single again. He will probably never be able to see you in the same light again.

thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 11:57

SwerveCity · 04/02/2025 11:05

Everyone has a past, yes. But I don’t think keeping naked or lingerie pics is normal or ok at all.

yeah I mean thats what bothered to me a lot. Like this kissing and all pictures I even found them cute and beautiful. But the explicit ones I wasn[t expecting.

OP posts:
PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 11:55

Bloody hell. You snooped and found photos of a relationship from before you and you’re getting upset?

Wow. Just wow.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 11:55

Starlight1984 · 04/02/2025 11:49

Nobody is going to like seeing photos of their SO with an ex.

But OP shouldn't have been snooping through years of his photos and history so got what she deserved!

What's that saying "seek and ye shall find"?

I have over 17,000 photos on my phone and I'm sure if DH was remotely bothered - or spent hours trawling through them (as in the OPs case) - he would find plenty of photos of my exes because I've never had the time nor inclination to delete them.

Same as if someone rummaged about in your personal belongings. If you're snooping around long enough you will find stuff you don't want to see.

Serves you right.

Show quote history

you are right

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 11:53

Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 11:11

How long have you been together?

5 years

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 04/02/2025 11:52

Don’t stoop. This is why.

Starlight1984 · 04/02/2025 11:49

SwerveCity · 04/02/2025 11:40

I find it hard to believe that most of you would be fine with this happening to you.

Nobody is going to like seeing photos of their SO with an ex.

But OP shouldn't have been snooping through years of his photos and history so got what she deserved!

What's that saying "seek and ye shall find"?

I have over 17,000 photos on my phone and I'm sure if DH was remotely bothered - or spent hours trawling through them (as in the OPs case) - he would find plenty of photos of my exes because I've never had the time nor inclination to delete them.

Same as if someone rummaged about in your personal belongings. If you're snooping around long enough you will find stuff you don't want to see.

Serves you right.

Greenbottle123 · 04/02/2025 11:42

SwerveCity · 04/02/2025 11:40

I find it hard to believe that most of you would be fine with this happening to you.

I wouldn’t like it, really wouldn’t like it. But I wouldn’t feel the need to ‘do’ anything about it

SwerveCity · 04/02/2025 11:40

I find it hard to believe that most of you would be fine with this happening to you.

Tillow4ever · 04/02/2025 11:37

Personally I'd be grateful he doesn't have photos and videos of you like that - how would you feel if he still had those when he inevitably dumps you following your parade of red flags?

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 11:29

Leave him asap

You are way too controlling to make the relationship work and you are going to continue to be emotionally abusive.

Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 11:23

It sounds like you’re upset he lied about the length of their relationship. And hurt that he has done something intimate (videos) with her that he hasn’t done with you.

He's got quite the porn library of her. I wouldn’t like it personally.

Yawningisinfectious · 04/02/2025 11:23

Well i wouldn't be happy OP.
I don't understand why people feel the need to send each other naked photos in the first place.
I thought that where people did this etiquette required when a relationship ended intimate photos should be deleted

I would find your bf extremely tacky tbh.

Whataweirdtime · 04/02/2025 11:22

I backed up an external hard drive recently to the cloud and it did exactly the same thing!

Yabu :)

OnlyThickBeans · 04/02/2025 11:22

I’d expect him to delete them now but I wouldn’t hold it against him.

Arraminta · 04/02/2025 11:20

Are you sure you're 24? You sound like a 14 year old. His previous relationships Are. None. Of. Your. Business.

Conniebygaslight · 04/02/2025 11:20

Before the days of digital cameras my then BF (now DH) had stumbled across some old film and asked if I could drop it in to the chemist as I was in town. The entire film was pictures of an old GF - we laughed about it. Still happily married 25+ years later

EnterFunnyNameHere · 04/02/2025 11:17

Everyone has a past, and he's not cheated on you that I can see. I think it's pretty grim that he's kept naked pics of exs though 😳