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Original poster

I went into my boyfriend's cloud gallery and found pictures of his ex.

166 replies

josie384 · 04/02/2025 10:46

I am 24, he is 31.

My phone stopped working a few days ago so my boyfriend handed me his old phone (that he uses daily along with his new one). I went through the gallery and told him so, he agreed. In this gallery I found pictures from 2025 only. I was looking for pictures from 2024 from this trip we had to Hawaii. Then I found a cloud app. To my surprise it was with no password (He has everything encrypted, with passwords and has two phones).

I checked this cloud, I found the pictures from our trip I was looking for. I went further on this cloud here was a ton of pictures of his childhood girlfriend. Very old pictures kissing each other etc...
I felt like I wanted to vomit but then I thought everyone has a past. He talked me about his ex which they dated from 2010 til 2017 (but I found photos of them hooking up till 2020).

I said ok, those from 2010 are alright u know, you are young etc. Then I noticed he had pictures from 2019 of this woman wearing lingerie, very explicit photos and videos. And I confronted my boyfriend.

He of course said I had no business going through this cloud. I asked him why he kept those pictures, he said he didn't have time to delete them since they’re so many (from 2010, more than 40K photos). I told him to look into my eyes and tell me he didn't have them for another reason. He said he loves me and only me and that's why he took a 16 hour flight to spend 2 months with me.
I don't know what to think. I want to vomit. He never took pictures like that to me.

Like so many, naked, etc.. He said that recently he bought that cloud’s license and put all his hard drives there in that cloud but never checked photo by photo in order to delete it.
What should I do? This is my first long term relationship (we're together since 2020). And I have no clue about what's wrong, and what's right.

OP posts:
Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 14:06

Op you need to be a bit more specific. Has he cheated on you? How many of the pictures were of her?

furiousnana · 04/02/2025 13:56

so you knew they were there, and he knew they were there and you wanted to know if he had deleted them, which he clearly has not.

you both sound as bad as each other..

MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 13:55

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

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On my phone I can use a tool that automatically puts my photos into categories of people and places. Making deleting all of one person a matter of seconds.

He chose to not do this. That Is very telling. All those posting here saying oh of course I have lots of photos of my ex it's no big deal,most of which aren't sexual in nature with videos and yet no one has said my partner did ask me to delete and I didn't. So that's far less common which would suggest there is a reason behind it. I suspect If you asked men for their opinion it would be different to most of the women here.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:53

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:39

OP isn’t talking about the automatic cloud back up on your phone. She’s talking about him taking physical hard drives of photos, downloading them on a device to then upload to a separate cloud application - that’s some work and you’d see snapshots of what you’re transferring as you’re doing that.

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Hmm I asked this to him. He said he didnt know nor see what he was transfering to this new cloud he bought (which he bought like a month ago). He said he only saw names of these files. Not the photos.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:52

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

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Well then that squashes all the PPs comments about not knowing what’s in your cloud! He fully knows what’s in there.

I stand by what I said even more so now, even though I did start to think maybe it was an oversight when reading other posts.

He knew what he had, he disclosed this to you, you said it would make you uncomfortable and he decided to keep them.

And I can see why after him saying this to you you’d ’go snooping’.

Plaided · 04/02/2025 13:49

You’ve been together 5yrs and he has pictures of his ex in underwear that were taken 2yrs ago? Do you mean you think he has been cheating on you with his ex?

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:48

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:31

Depends what cloud storage you’re using. If it’s something like DropBox and you’re moving folders about then maybe. But from OPs post I’d assumed it was more like google photos where you would see individual photos pop up so even if you didn’t see every single photo, you’d see themes / nature of individual images

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But 40k worth of images must work out at hours of screen time for a backup which is a background activity

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:48

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:12

I'm sorry no! I have to disagree with majority of these replies!

OP describes someone who has multiple encrypted drives / cloud photo apps - clearly tech savvy.

All it takes these days is to go in to the photo album, click search, type in the name of the person (it'll use facial recognition, most people are already tagged in your phone as it's smart like that), select all and delete. It's not hard AT ALL.

A couple odd missed photos here and there, fine. We all have that. Thousands upon thousands of photos of your ex, kissing and whatnot. No. Of course you've had a life before but you don't need to be keeping that. Photos are for reminiscing, you shouldn't be reminiscing your ex when you have moved on otherwise you should've stayed with that person.

Also to all the posters taking about 'forgetting you have photos'. You don't forget having naked photos of someone. Like at all.

yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago.

OP posts:
MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 13:46

josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:40

It didnt took ages, most of them were of her

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40k of ex in a sexual nature?

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 13:40

404ErrorCode · 04/02/2025 13:22

40k photos and you managed to find ones of his ex? Must have been looking ages to find these?

I’d say you were out to snoop, not look for holiday snaps, which begs the question, why?

It didnt took ages, most of them were of her

OP posts:
Streetsofkenny · 04/02/2025 13:36

I would not have a clue what was in my cloud, but I imagine it must be long-forgotten about pictures that I took many years ago.
I would not be impressed at anyone going through it, and then asking me why I'd kept those pictures!
May I politely suggest getting a grip! As has been said by PPs, everyone has a past, it can't just be eradicated when you start a new relationship. Give the guy a break!

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 13:31

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:24

I am not teckie but hooking the device and the extetnal storage creates one computer.
So if I was backing up physical storage drive to the cloud i am draging and dropping the whole folder

Physical storage is designed to be recognised as extra storage folders so why would anyone copy from folder A to folder B to folder C

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Depends what cloud storage you’re using. If it’s something like DropBox and you’re moving folders about then maybe. But from OPs post I’d assumed it was more like google photos where you would see individual photos pop up so even if you didn’t see every single photo, you’d see themes / nature of individual images

AnSolas · 04/02/2025 13:24

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:39

OP isn’t talking about the automatic cloud back up on your phone. She’s talking about him taking physical hard drives of photos, downloading them on a device to then upload to a separate cloud application - that’s some work and you’d see snapshots of what you’re transferring as you’re doing that.

Show quote history

I am not teckie but hooking the device and the extetnal storage creates one computer.
So if I was backing up physical storage drive to the cloud i am draging and dropping the whole folder

Physical storage is designed to be recognised as extra storage folders so why would anyone copy from folder A to folder B to folder C

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 04/02/2025 13:23

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:01

I would argue intimate photos mean a lot more, particularly if they have been saved to special places recently, by a man who can use them whenever he likes to jerk off.

I'm not talking about the expensive trip to Paris, kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower memento jealousy.

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If you don’t understand technology that’s fine, just say so.

People have clearly stated they have tons of pics automatically backed up.

Plus I can still picture my exes naked, that doesn’t mean I’m masturbating to them.

It’s not being a pick me, it’s being an adult.

404ErrorCode · 04/02/2025 13:22

40k photos and you managed to find ones of his ex? Must have been looking ages to find these?

I’d say you were out to snoop, not look for holiday snaps, which begs the question, why?

Coconutter24 · 04/02/2025 13:19

josie384 · 04/02/2025 12:00

the most recent one was from 2 years ago, I didnt care about this others 10 years ago. but the recent ones

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If you’ve been together for 5 years and there’s photos from 2 years ago are you saying he has cheated on you?

thecherryfox · 04/02/2025 13:19

I logged into my Google images the other day and found photos of me from secondary school with my ‘high school sweetheart’ . it means nothing. I will never see issues with people keeping photos of previous partners as just because it ended doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You’re allowed to relive the memory of viewing photos, I don’t see why people are so weird about it just because they’re exes

MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 13:19

Op what does your gut tell you? Do you feel safe in the relationship? Do you trust what he Is saying? Has he truly heard your concern?

It's your relationship and you can have whatever boundaries you both agree on. In mine phones and all devices are open policy neither of us would care if anyone took a deep dive. Both of us also know we don't have explicit videos or photos hidden/forgotten about somewhere. Or any secrets for that matter. Exes maybe but nothing we wouldn't feel comfortable talking about. If my partner asked me to delete something I'd not think twice. Why would I not want to make my partner feel heard chosen and safe.

If you was to ask your partner to delete them what do you think their response would be?

SallyWD · 04/02/2025 13:15

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:08

And you sound like a PIck Me girl, but here we are.
If trying to explain why intimate pictures are problematic means I've in a fantasy to you, it explains a lot.

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I don't think @ItGhoul sounds like a "pick me girl" (ridiculous term anyway). I agree with @ItGhoul . Having some old photos on a cloud storage that may not have been looked at for years is not a red flag in my opinion. When I got together with my DH, I didn't immediately go through all my online and physical photos of my ex and destroy them. In fact, I've never done that! I still have them and never look at them but I'm keeping them.

southpawsofthenorth · 04/02/2025 13:14

Shouldn’t have been snooping.

If these photos are all from before you met then there’s nothing you can do really.

But maybe don’t let him take such picture of you, in case you break up, if he’s gonna keep them till the end of time 😬

PotaytoPotahhto · 04/02/2025 13:11

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:08

And you sound like a PIck Me girl, but here we are.
If trying to explain why intimate pictures are problematic means I've in a fantasy to you, it explains a lot.

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Nasty. It’s possible to have a discussion with another poster without using a derogatory and misogynist insult.

Sheeparelooseagain · 04/02/2025 13:10

Why didn't you mention the photos from two years ago in your first post?

Anyway, if you don't trust him, dump him.

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:08

ItGhoul · 04/02/2025 13:06

particularly if they have been saved to special places recently, by a man who can use them whenever he likes to jerk off

You're massively projecting here. You don't know he considered this a 'special place' or how he saved them or whether he's been accessing them. You're just inventing your own interpretation and it almost sounds like you're turning it into a weird little fantasy at this point. You're adding a whole ton of detail that you're simply inventing.

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And you sound like a PIck Me girl, but here we are.
If trying to explain why intimate pictures are problematic means I've in a fantasy to you, it explains a lot.

ItGhoul · 04/02/2025 13:08

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 13:06

If your partner carried minge pictures of his ex around in his pocket for him to look at whenever he liked, I'm fairly sure you'd be a bit put out.

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But that isn't what's happening here, or anything even close to it. Again, you're just imposing your own idea of what's happened with zero evidence that this is what went on. You don't seem to understand how any of this works or what it means. It's just projection and it makes no sense.

FindusMakesPancakes · 04/02/2025 13:07

Germanymunch · 04/02/2025 12:53

So him recreating the pictures and backing them up isn't a red flag? Really?

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No. If you bulk upload from a hard drive to the cloud, it will be dated on the day you upload it. That isn't 'recreating' it.