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Original poster

I went into my boyfriend's cloud gallery and found pictures of his ex.

166 replies

josie384 · 04/02/2025 10:46

I am 24, he is 31.

My phone stopped working a few days ago so my boyfriend handed me his old phone (that he uses daily along with his new one). I went through the gallery and told him so, he agreed. In this gallery I found pictures from 2025 only. I was looking for pictures from 2024 from this trip we had to Hawaii. Then I found a cloud app. To my surprise it was with no password (He has everything encrypted, with passwords and has two phones).

I checked this cloud, I found the pictures from our trip I was looking for. I went further on this cloud here was a ton of pictures of his childhood girlfriend. Very old pictures kissing each other etc...
I felt like I wanted to vomit but then I thought everyone has a past. He talked me about his ex which they dated from 2010 til 2017 (but I found photos of them hooking up till 2020).

I said ok, those from 2010 are alright u know, you are young etc. Then I noticed he had pictures from 2019 of this woman wearing lingerie, very explicit photos and videos. And I confronted my boyfriend.

He of course said I had no business going through this cloud. I asked him why he kept those pictures, he said he didn't have time to delete them since they’re so many (from 2010, more than 40K photos). I told him to look into my eyes and tell me he didn't have them for another reason. He said he loves me and only me and that's why he took a 16 hour flight to spend 2 months with me.
I don't know what to think. I want to vomit. He never took pictures like that to me.

Like so many, naked, etc.. He said that recently he bought that cloud’s license and put all his hard drives there in that cloud but never checked photo by photo in order to delete it.
What should I do? This is my first long term relationship (we're together since 2020). And I have no clue about what's wrong, and what's right.

OP posts:
beAsensible1 · 04/02/2025 15:43

josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:22

yes, it´s a long distance relationship, germany to australia

Show quote history

FOR FIVE YEARS?!? Girl….

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 15:42

Growlybear83 · 04/02/2025 15:36

By on earth is it anything to do with you what your boyfriend did before he met you, or thst he's still got photos from his past? Is he supposed to just erase his past and his memories because he's with you now? Digital photos didn't exist when I met my husband, but I've still got a few photos of a previous fiancé and I will continue to keep them - he was a nice man and is part of my past. You really shouldn't have gone snooping through your boyfriend's photos - it's a gross invasion of his privacy.

Are those photos of your ex with his penis in his hand?

Would you be okay with your current husband holding on to various photos of his ex with her boobs and vagina out? OP has written updates where she said they were very explicit.

Selfie in front of the colosseum is one thing, bending over nude is another.

beAsensible1 · 04/02/2025 15:42

Plaided · 04/02/2025 13:49

You’ve been together 5yrs and he has pictures of his ex in underwear that were taken 2yrs ago? Do you mean you think he has been cheating on you with his ex?

But he also showed them to her 2 years ago and said he would delete them? None of it makes sense

Growlybear83 · 04/02/2025 15:36

By on earth is it anything to do with you what your boyfriend did before he met you, or thst he's still got photos from his past? Is he supposed to just erase his past and his memories because he's with you now? Digital photos didn't exist when I met my husband, but I've still got a few photos of a previous fiancé and I will continue to keep them - he was a nice man and is part of my past. You really shouldn't have gone snooping through your boyfriend's photos - it's a gross invasion of his privacy.

beAsensible1 · 04/02/2025 15:32

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 12:39

OP isn’t talking about the automatic cloud back up on your phone. She’s talking about him taking physical hard drives of photos, downloading them on a device to then upload to a separate cloud application - that’s some work and you’d see snapshots of what you’re transferring as you’re doing that.

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If that’s how he generally backs up his stuff it’s normal. I back my phone and computer and all contents onto a an external hard drive and cloud.

my old phone accesses my cloud

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 15:31

josie384 · 04/02/2025 15:17

How should I view this situation in your opinion? Or what should I do? Like I´ve think about breaking up sometimes. But I´m very, very emotionally dependent to this man. I´ve met him since I was 19.

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The important thing here OP is that the situation has upset you, and your feelings are valid whether people agree or not.

Throughout your updates, a lot more has surfaced, which validates why this has upset you the way that it did.

Whilst this is a long distance relationship, it sounds like it has been a longer term one and it’s clear that you don’t want to just leave. You should sit down together and just have an honest conversation. Tell him about all the reasons why you feel insecure about this woman, and tell him why you find these explicit photos and thousands of photos of them together hurtful. You’ve already had the conversation about you finding them disrespectful, and he told you that he was going to get rid of them, so ask why he didn’t? And if he says he just forgot, then give him the benefit of the doubt here, but ask him what he’s going to do to fix this.

If you feel that he is genuine, and he takes the steps to respect your boundaries then you’re going to have to let it go. Unless he gives you other genuine reasons to be suspicious, then you can’t continue looking for things, not trusting him, because this will ruin your relationship.

If for some reason he feels that he wants to go back on his word, and not sort through those photos, then I think you really need to ask yourself if you’re prepared to just live with that, or if that shows you that he’s not taking your feelings on board.

KookyGreenCritic · 04/02/2025 15:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 15:28

Switcher · 04/02/2025 15:26

Oh dear. Well I know how you feel because I had same issue and had his ex keep popping up when we shared our photo feeds on Google, but as he says it's kind of a nightmare because even though he deleted them it still synched off another drive backup. It's really hard. But you're being a bit dramatic.

oki, thanks.

OP posts:
Switcher · 04/02/2025 15:26

Oh dear. Well I know how you feel because I had same issue and had his ex keep popping up when we shared our photo feeds on Google, but as he says it's kind of a nightmare because even though he deleted them it still synched off another drive backup. It's really hard. But you're being a bit dramatic.

Playgroundincident · 04/02/2025 15:21

I'd be catching a 16 hour flight straight back home that wasn't incidnþalyou did a bloody deep dive...not cool.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 15:17

TY78910 · 04/02/2025 15:12

Please don’t let these women gaslight you OP.

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How should I view this situation in your opinion? Or what should I do? Like I´ve think about breaking up sometimes. But I´m very, very emotionally dependent to this man. I´ve met him since I was 19.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 04/02/2025 15:12

josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:39

Thanks, definitively this site helped me a lot to not see this as a big deal. I mean I also have an ex but no photos of him naked stored on my new cloud on my phone.

Yes, it seems I´m very childish and that the age gap is a big factor here as some mentioned here. Thanks a lot for your time.

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Please don’t let these women gaslight you OP.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 15:10

MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 14:51

"yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago."

So he is changing his story?

I wonder how he would feel in the reverse situation? I don't think it has anything to do with age. You're not childish to not like your boyfriend having tons of sexual pictures and videos of a ex girlfriend who he seems hung up on by your other comments. Who said he was going to delete them but didn't. If it was a simple oh I forgot about those few pictures then I think it would be a non issue. But it does bother you hence asking strangers on the Internet. It would bother me too op. It's not a relationship I would want. Being a long distance relationship as well I'd find it hard to trust him. When he didn't do something he said he would.

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Thanks for your words. Yes, I asked him about this too. He said he did delete the pictures with this face recognition tool but on his personal computer. So the hard drive still have all these photos, and this new ente cloud he bought too.

I don´t know what to think really. Yeah everyone has a past (all experiences, including romantic ones makes us who we are and I respect that).

But since we first met in person he said he absolutely was into me and was over his ex. Then all this stuff appears, pictures, contacts, new year wishes, and I don´t know what to think.

I do believe he loves me, otherwise he wouldn´t travel this far, pay my ticket when I go to australia. I feel very loved by him, gifts, trips, etc... But still I have a gut feeling that he´s not over this woman.

But we´ve talked, he´s very open to talk about everything. He says the past is the past. I admit I have an issue with trust. Having a long distance relationship is something I absolutely not recomment to anyone.

I need to be more mature, talked with older women, the´ve said to me it´s normal everything that makes me feel odd. The photos, the messages, it´s all nromal an that´s how man work.

I hope to find peace, because I know I´m a very big part of the problem here. Maybe another woman wouldnt care about her boyfriend having intimate videos with his ex on his current phone, photos, emails, etc, but I do and maybe when I become older I won´t care anymore.

OP posts:
MightyGoldBear · 04/02/2025 14:51

josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:42

no, those 2 year ago were some screenshots I think.

The only thing I want is him telling me "yes I knew those photos were there and I wanted them to be there and look at them". But when we had this conversation he said he didnt know they were there like it was a surprise.

Show quote history

"yeah I remember once he told me if it made me unconfortable that he had those pictures (he showed me some when we started dating) I said yes and he said he was going to use a facial recognition tool in order to delete them. This was 2 years ago."

So he is changing his story?

I wonder how he would feel in the reverse situation? I don't think it has anything to do with age. You're not childish to not like your boyfriend having tons of sexual pictures and videos of a ex girlfriend who he seems hung up on by your other comments. Who said he was going to delete them but didn't. If it was a simple oh I forgot about those few pictures then I think it would be a non issue. But it does bother you hence asking strangers on the Internet. It would bother me too op. It's not a relationship I would want. Being a long distance relationship as well I'd find it hard to trust him. When he didn't do something he said he would.

Hadalifeonce · 04/02/2025 14:49

My DH has several photo albums, which contain photographs of him with various previous girlfriends. There is no way I would expect him to destroy them, they are part of his history; what right would I have to demand he deleted his history because I don't like it?

Arraminta · 04/02/2025 14:46

Look I get that you're upset. And I totally get that he probably intended to delete the photos in order to appease you, but then just didn't get around to it (and really, who could be arsed to do that).

Clearly, his ex was a huge part of his life and he was heartbroken when they split. Even if he physically deleted her photos, it won't change anything. He will always have thousands of memories of her in the back of his mind and there's no way to delete those.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:42

Coconutter24 · 04/02/2025 13:19

If you’ve been together for 5 years and there’s photos from 2 years ago are you saying he has cheated on you?

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no, those 2 year ago were some screenshots I think.

The only thing I want is him telling me "yes I knew those photos were there and I wanted them to be there and look at them". But when we had this conversation he said he didnt know they were there like it was a surprise.

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:39

Arraminta · 04/02/2025 11:20

Are you sure you're 24? You sound like a 14 year old. His previous relationships Are. None. Of. Your. Business.

Thanks, definitively this site helped me a lot to not see this as a big deal. I mean I also have an ex but no photos of him naked stored on my new cloud on my phone.

Yes, it seems I´m very childish and that the age gap is a big factor here as some mentioned here. Thanks a lot for your time.

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:36

Cabinqueen · 04/02/2025 14:20

Big red flag for me... He deserves better than this. Snooping is never good. He is older than you, so clearly had a life before you, hopefully he'll have another with someone less insecure. Sorry but there it is...

thanks

OP posts:
NewYearNewDietAgain · 04/02/2025 14:36

lol my cloud has pics of 2 ExH, an ExBF and current DP. No way am I going through years worth of pics to delete them. They're all part of my past and it's not like I go back looking through them anyway (apart from pics with the kids).

YAB massively U.

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:36

LittleGreenHouse · 04/02/2025 14:13

I'm confused - there were explicit pictures of another woman taken and saved since you've been together? Yes, absolutely that's wrong. What was his explanation for this?

Seems a bit suss that if this is what he's got in an unlocked cloud - what's he keeping in the locked devices?!

TBH I think it's disrespectful to the woman who sent the explicit pictures to be keeping them after they're no longer together and I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that.

yes, very explicit photos and videos. I thinkk most of the issue is that when we atarted dating he mentioned this woman a lot, that she cheated on him, that she broke his heart, and also mentioned they never "oficially broke up", just stop seeing eachother.

I haven´t had issues til last year when he said he didnt see a reason to stop being friends with her. And that they were not friends anymore because she doesnt talk to him in years, and not that I feel uncomfortable with that

OP posts:
Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:22

ItGhoul · 04/02/2025 12:10

Again, that isn't what you said in your first post. You said the most recent ones were taken in 2019/2020. That isn't two years ago.

What are you actually saying here? Are you saying that your boyfriend has been cheating on you while you've been together? Or are you saying that your boyfriend has photos of his ex from before you got together, and simply hasn't deleted them from his cloud account?

You also mention him taking a 16-hour flight to be with you for two months. Is this a long-distance relationship where you don't actually live in the same country and only see each other now and again?

Show quote history

yes, it´s a long distance relationship, germany to australia

OP posts:
Cabinqueen · 04/02/2025 14:20

Big red flag for me... He deserves better than this. Snooping is never good. He is older than you, so clearly had a life before you, hopefully he'll have another with someone less insecure. Sorry but there it is...

Original poster
josie384 · 04/02/2025 14:18

Vertigo2851 · 04/02/2025 14:06

Op you need to be a bit more specific. Has he cheated on you? How many of the pictures were of her?

as far as I know he hasn´t. I really love him and he seems very honest and clear. Like, He told me he deleted them, I went in his gallery and found that was not true. I found out they still talked in 2021, he still has her number.

But despite all, we´ve talked, have a very honest conversation and he insists he absolutely didn´t know those pictures were there. And he´s very sad that I saw those pictures rather than that he still had them :(

OP posts:
LittleGreenHouse · 04/02/2025 14:13

I'm confused - there were explicit pictures of another woman taken and saved since you've been together? Yes, absolutely that's wrong. What was his explanation for this?

Seems a bit suss that if this is what he's got in an unlocked cloud - what's he keeping in the locked devices?!

TBH I think it's disrespectful to the woman who sent the explicit pictures to be keeping them after they're no longer together and I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that.