To feel mortified I was settled out of my job?

Emm no. That sets off huge red flags. Make up something plausible but not derogatory to either party

I've been dismissed three times. The first time I was devastated and thought I would never recover. Now I realize that it's actually fairly common and happens a lot in certain industries.

Don't worry op - you will move on and do better

Good advice

Very sorry to hear this OP. Similar happened to someone I know and they told me that in the US a lot of things we regard as fails here are seen as learns (e.g. a start up failing). They would advise you to be glad you're out, know it was them not you, come up with a robust stock answer to why you left (good ones suggested above), get a new job you love and leave the buggers behind you. This is is what my friend did. I was surprised they weren't more bitter, especially as it was publicly known, but they just said these things happen in business. They are now in a better job than before and much happier. I know it's easier said than done, but don't allow this to affect you and be bloody proud that you are exactly the sort of person who knows that going home at a more than fair time in order to tuck your precious kids in is the right thing to do 💪🏻💐

OP, as well as counselling, I'd suggest some coaching. You can use counselling to come to terms with what's happened and coaching to work on achieving your professional goals (starting with a goal to be able to answer an interview question about why you left your last role).

A similar thing happened to me. Flawless record for years until a management change. A few observations.

If you’re struggling to get a clear head around this, it might be a good time to take some time out - invest in travel and do something you love - maybe that trek to Nepal you always wanted. It can help your perspective to have a complete change of scenery for a a few weeks.

Most former colleagues and collaborators working on a similar level are not stupid. Some who you worked with for a long time prior to the arrival of the new CEO are probably thinking,

‘WTF? She was consistently really good, whatever happened?’

Please reach out to these people when you feel able, maybe ask them to write you a brief reference on your Linked In if that might help.

Feel assured that when your exemplary record continues into your next role, and the next, this CEO’s judgement will come to be questioned.

I never went back to being an employee. I started my own company, and probably would not have gone down such a fruitful route if I had continued to be employed. These life events can turn out to be a blessing, although it feels a long way from that when you’re going through it!

Don’t feel bad about feeling bad - first time it happened to me I couldn’t get out of bed for a couple of weeks, didn’t take a shower for days, thought my life was over. I am now in a position I NEVER thought I’d ever be in in terms of power, pay, influence etc. NEVER. So onwards and upwards. You are clearly very good, you’ll get there even if it takes time and some detours. We live longer, work longer, it’s a marathon not a sprint. In any case, at 8 years in one company you might be perceived as becoming institutionalised so it’s a good tome for a change anyway, regardless of how nasty the actual process.

Take a look at the book by Eleanor Tweddell “Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You”
It has really good lived examples on the stages of grief, how others respond to your redundancy “news” and how to look forward to a fantastic future.
Sadly many new CEOs like to make a big entrance and shake the teams up. Doesn’t mean that those decisions were the best. It’s just business.

My company always says people are "exploring opportunities outside the company". They must think we are very thick to not see that's code for "been sacked". The CEO left recently and the announcement was that "he had mutually agreed with the board to explore other opportunities". Mutually agreed as in they said "can you do one mate?" and he said "alright then".

It's not you lovely - it's them ! Get out there loud and proud , contact headhunters etc and if asked just state- change of CEO who wanted a change of direction so you mutually parted ways. There's an awful lot of twats at the top these days and big swinging dicks- male and female - I blame the Apprentice!!

I'm wondering if I work at this company.
If so, you were a role model to me, and to lots of other women, and still are. The company is worse off, and will continue to decline without you I suspect.
(I'm sure this is true regardless of whether you are who I think you are btw.)

There is loads of good advice on here, and I have been positively nodding my head at what many posters have said, and I believe that many other people will be along to listen in or comment, because it has happened to them too. I would not feel too guilty about not processing it well either, this takes time, and it is a really unusual person who says on the Monday, well that's that then, and gets another role by the Friday. However, the money does not last forever, and eventually you need to get back on the horse. But do it armed with answers from here, and you were not sacked. They restructured, at the whim of the new CEO. And believe me, that CEO will fall on their own sword eventually if they are placing unfair expectations on their team. May take a while, and you won't be around to see it, but by then, you won't care. As for your colleagues, this is hard to bear, but you do not know what they have been told they can and can't do, and they may be feeling awkward, and a whole host of other things. I wish you luck and love and re-finding your confidence and getting back out there, there are, genuinely, better employers. x

Also, I wouldn’t dive into a job search straight away. You are too vulnerable right now. It will come through in interviews. Take some time to grieve, heal and re-group, have counselling/coaching for sure. And again it happens all the time. Really. Lose that hang up. You are not sacked and disgraced - it was clearly not fit in terms of culture and direction going forward. They did you a favour as you’d be hanging on due to pay and would have been death by a thousand cuts. They didn’t go about it in a nice way - I had to deal with multiple senior level departures and I make sure it’s as humane and dignity preserving for all parties as possible. The process is never pleasant but in most cases we stay in touch and on perfectly amicable terms. We come up with face saving exit comms etc. So I wouldn’t have an issue with the fact they did it, but the way they did it is unnecessary and quite abhorrent. Wouldn’t be in line with my ethics but there are plenty of nasty pieces of work.

She clearly felt threatened by you, and wanted you out of the picture. She behaved badly, and probably got where she has due to being ruthless and brutal. Hold your head high. It was the right decision for you. These things happen. Work on building up your confidence - I’m sure you will get another job.

I was recently settled out of a job. I was in HE, so it was very unlikely I would get to work in the sector again, which made it particularly brutal. While completely down to lines in Excel and the wider sectoral crisis, it was still really painful.

I've arranged counselling, got in touch with old friends, and spent a couple of months gardening and job-hunting. I've treated it like a bereavement.

But I've come through it. This is just part of life and sometimes we're just hit by bad luck. Being good and hardworking doesn't immunise us from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, any more than anyone else.

Do you have mentors or former colleagues outside the firm that you can talk to, who can help you make sense of it?

You can take control of your narrative - say something very positive on LinkedIn. You can do this. Put your best face forward.

All the very best of luck.

Normal to feel the way you do OP, sorry.

People will be aware what's happened but are scared to lose their jobs, so will try and stay out of it.

Unfortunately rumors are a thing where people try to fill in gaps and to be seen to be in the know.

I've had some ridiculous rumours before but the best thing to do is ignore.

People soon move on.

Good luck with a new job.

Sounds like you need time to heal.
Easily said I know -
but your workplace.. balancing that with an unsupportive manager and young children, you have probably been living 'on edge' for some time.
This will be the best thing that ever happened to you. It's an amazing opportunity! Anyone asks, you decided to set up on your own.
You won't look back xx
Just give yourself a few months to heal and only meet friends that make you feel better not worse xxx

It’s really easy to say don’t take it personally, and when you love your job it’s very hard not to.

I work at a very senior level in large companies and this happens ALL the time. Often when a new CEO or new c suite comes in they will have a certain way of working or a certain team they want to build and if your face doesn’t fit then you will be compromised out.

It happens FAR more than you realise.

It’s happened to me twice in my career. The first time I was totally blindsided and it didn’t help that the CEO was clearly gaslighting me and enjoying the sport to make me leave and ended up with me forcing a compromise. Second time was much nicer and a grown up conversation and the company treated me well as a leaver.

In all honestly the scars from the first time it happened ran deep and it took me about 5 years to recognise it was a them issue not me. Time and progression helped - I can now turn around and say FU as I’m happy with my career trajectory since then and to be honest they did me a favour.

You were there for 8 years, and it’s perfectly acceptable if asked why you left that you felt you’d done your time and with a new CEO
coming in that it seemed like a good point to try something else. No one is going to question it, and i would bet the new CEO has a rep in the market so you don’t need to say more. FWIW The gaslighting CEO (who has now retired) had such a bad rep in the market that even now when people see I worked with him they don’t even need to ask why I wanted to leave. And this is about 15 years later….

It’s ok to grieve this though, especially when work is such a part of your identity. But it will get better and you will find another job / path…

These things are generally not very enforceable, and especially if she only mentions it in the privacy of a job interview. What's going to happen — is the interviewer going to dob her in to the company? Even if they did, it's one person's word against another.

On the other hand, claiming that a large prominent company had a round of redundancies, when it didn't, is a lie, which will either be spotted ("Huh, my sister works there and she says business is great") or will be grounds for dismissal if it ever gets caught out.

There's no perfect solution, but the truth is probably what will produce the least stress in the interview room. "Excuse me if I seem a bit nervous about mentioning it, but they also made me sign an NDA" might actually help, too.

Once you are placed on a Pip there is no going back. You did the right thing.

You need to take control of the narrative. The more you stay in the shadows with your tail between your legs the worse it looks for you.

Write a big shiny linkedin post gushing about exciting times ahead, perusing new avenues etc thanks for 8 great years but time for change. Word it how you want but frame it as a good thing and something you chose to do.

Then organise your own leaving dinner with your work pals. Put your spin on it the best way you can without breaking non disclosure laws. Let them read between the lines that your new boss was shitty.

Take time to network like crazy and put the feelers out talk to specialist recruitment agencies. Your public profile holds currency, write some blogs with industry insights, get yourself into the boards of a couple of charities, promote yourself as a guest speaker at industry related unis. Ie keep yourself relevant.

I'm not sure what you did but if you have a media profile with your old job tout yourself as a commentator for radio/TV panel shows if that is appropriate.

Good luck!

Please stop beating yourself up for the decision you made.

You made the right decision, your mental health may feel crushed right now but imagine if you had stayed how worse it would be.

There are highs there are lows, have no shame that right now the world has thrown you low. It will all realign for you at one point I absolutely guarantee.

In the mean time please try to be positive and keep ploughing through rebuilding your confidence.

I also left my last job under crappy circumstances - it really impacts your confidence. What are you doing with your time off? I'd really recommend doing some qualifications, sport, hobbies, volunteering - anything to learn new skills, meet people, feel valued.

This crappy bully will leave the company sooner rather than later, as she clearly has no concept of loyalty. She's probably bullying others right now. If it's anything like my former workplace, they'll all fall out with each other, turnover will be skyhigh, and in a few years you'll feel smug safely observing from a distance.

With huge payoffs.