Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

Yes, rid of both cancer and MIL now thankfully!

Mil seethed to me dh's ex had wanted his dc...
Obviously waited until dh had left the room.
She never forgave dh for refusing to leave me and our prem dc to attend a sporting event with her and fil hundreds of miles away (week trip)...
She couldn't accept dh had no time for her anymore.. Been over 10 years nc now.

Mil came to visit baby the day we came home from the hospital.

She was annoyed baby was asleep in the Moses basket when she arrived and proceeded to tell me it was my fault she was so sleepy because I had caused baby to have withdrawal from drinking too much coke 😂

For context I had really bad hypremisis during pregnancy and ended up hospitalised. I couldn't keep water down, so would have a Coke Zero every now and again.

More recently when she arrived and baby was dream feeding she told me it was ridiculous that I am still breastfeeding and should just give baby a dummy instead so other people can cuddle her.

Baby has a dairy allergy and is only 7 months, no way I am swapping for a dummy!

There’s loads from my awful MIL. 4 which stick out :

1. while my husband was on loud speaker, saying to him he ought to charge me childcare to look after our child when he couldn’t go to nursery due to illness
2. screaming at my daughter that she had better get outside for a walk and not end up like your recluse mother ( meaning me) my daughter was going through some health anxiety at the time, it was during covid
3. when my SIL 1 was pregnant she posted a photo of her with my other SIL2. She captioned it, SIL2 looking forward to becoming an aunt despite the fact she was already aunt to our child
4. the morning after SIL1 wedding she was gushing about how it was the best wedding she had ever been to ever, she certainly guzzled a lot of champagne at our wedding

she comments on my appearance all the time, not kind comments. She is also a mad tin foil hat woman

Ha, my late MiL also ‘baptised’ DD when we wouldn’t get her done. She said that a neighbour’s Son had died because he wasn’t christened ( he’d been killed running out to an ice cream van at 4 or 5) .

Evil witch.
Yet everyone thought she was Mrs Wonderful, she was careful to bully me very subtley.
She also read DH’s letters to me when he was in the military and away in the sandbox - I caught her in the bedroom, her excuse was that she was scared he was going to die 😵‍💫
She’s been dead for almost 30 years and I still hate her.

My husbands mother offered him money not to marry me, which didn’t surprise either of us. She said her grandchildren will never be her grandchildren as they’re an abomination, by abomination she means not white, she’s only met her grandson once, she’s never met her grandaughter and likely never will. My husband has a physical disability he was born with, growing up she reminded him he was born disabled because he was a sinner in a past life so he deserved to suffer. So nothing she does or says ever really comes as a shock.

I think that's totally right, the thing I can't work out is, even allowing for this, they can't actually think they're going to get to be mums again? And mine didn't even like childcare, she just wanted to 'be' mum somehow, with me doing the work. Did she think she was Peter Pan? Or she wanted her son, and grandson, but without me. But that's either a devastated son and/or a huge amount of work she didn't want. It makes no sense. Why pick a war with the one person who will deliver you a great relationship with your son and DGC (all other things being equal etc), I was the one who made all the arrangements, until suddenly I didn't 👍

Op, I have requested that my post be deleted. It has been pointed out to me that what I am describing is child abuse/neglect which i don't think is appropriate for the thread, particularly after recent events on MN. Thank you to those you have offered empathy and support to my dd 💐

Not my PIL but BILs wife.
Our first child was born 7 weeks prem. Told everyone that he was brain damaged.
Not true.
Second child was 11 weeks prem. This was a girl and the first in 4 generations on DHs side. Again the brain damage topic was spouted. Again not true.
If the family went out for a meal she told her DH NOT to get our DD a drink.
Lots of other cruel things she did. But the one where me and DH lost it was the time MIL was looking after DD at her house while I went to see the GP. Sil went to visit not knowing that DD was there.
DD had a fringe and kept brushing it from her face. Mil went the loo and SIL got the scissors and cut not only her fringe but cut it above her ears.
When I returned MIL was crying and sil was laughing.
How I stopped from hitting her ill never know.
Fortunately we distanced from bil and his family.
She has since died and because she fell out with everyone I have been told that only her DH and 2 children were there. Not even her children's partners went.
She had 2 sisters and two brothers none attended.

That's mind blowingly shit.
I'm so sorry @Istandinpause - miscarriage is tough enough without that 🌻

Oooh look at all.your stretch marks ( 9 months pregnant my top.had ridden up)
I told you to use moisturiser on them I haven't got any at all

Total.cunt.

Criticised my mum straight after I gave birth and then completely ignored her afterwards. Essentially made the birth all about her, rather than the fact that her first GC had been born.

Deliberately gave me milk product when I said I was avoiding them post partum. Then told me about it in a smug way after I’d eaten.

Complimented me on my English despite h at being my first language. Others me whenever she can. Blames things on cultural differences when there are none.

Yelled at me when I was pregnant and made me cry and then apologised to my DH for “this issue” insinuating that I was the problem.

Told me off for having my mum stay and help after a traumatic first birth.

MIL is never wrong. She is always a victim. I think she is the worst person I’ve ever met and if my DH wasn’t so amazing I’d consider divorce just to get away from her.

Mine hasnt done anything to me personally but she has certainly hurt her children. 3/4 of her kids are NC and DH is very LC with her- he feels he's the "link" person. Whilst he tries to be stoic and pragmatic and matter of fact, I know he hurts and it breaks my heart.

On the very rare occasions she deigns to see him/us, it's always and only ever because she wants to know something. She constantly tries to manipulate and fish for information. Unfortunately she's way too obvious about what she asks so DH feeds her bollocks, plays dumb/out of the loop or deflects it. She'll only play by her own rules / to serve her own interests (including attempting fraud and lying) and it has pushed everyone away. Husband has stopped trying beyond the odd message. It breaks my heart to see the hurt. It's still rejection.

However she's also a baby-loon so first hint of a DGC and she'd be out of the woodwork and all over us until the baby was big enough not to want to be just constantly held (she lost interest in all of hers once they weren't cute new borns, basically). We've already agreed she wouldn't be let near. She won't tell us where she lives so no way would we risk it. My wonderful FiL (they're divorced) is an amazing grandad and is at the heart of his family.

FIL doesn't like me, and nobody has any idea why.
I found this out when he first came to visit. This was my house btw, DW had moved in with me. He came to visit with his DW (my DW's SM) who was absolutely lovely and we got on amazingly well.
He completely ignored me. No hello, no nice to meet you. I tried to start a conversation and he talked over me. The second time I tried talking to him, DW was in the next room and he just got up silently and followed her.

This behaviour continued for about three years until DW lost it with him one day and they had an argument where she basically told him she wanted to cut ties as he never visits anymore, barely speaks to her, acts like I don't exist and was making her miserable.
So he text me and said I'd got what I wanted and alienated her from her family.
I get on perfectly fine with other IL's. It was all just really bizarre.

From my own experience, and that of friends, I think some women have a huge issue with their sons having a new leading lady in their lives.
It's as if they feel like they must fight to retain control and the new wife is the obstacle to their son's affection. My MIL could not cope with being a grandparent, to her that was a demotion from being the mum.

I do generally like my MIL but she spent my wedding day with a face like a slapped arse and she and FIL were rude to my parents when they'd paid for the whole bloody thing. I've never really forgiven them for that.

So is it about female to female relationships?

Is it about DiL’s rather than MiL’s?

Terrority? Control?

@Bogartme that's very like my MIL, she used to tell our baby son how cruel we were to him (luckily he was too young to understand) and she used to try to snatch him from people's arms till I lost my cool and told her off. She was OKish till we had him then the psycho switch was activated.

JFC! Your MIL should be in jail. That was child abuse.

Omg this is just like how mine was (apart from it didn't just start when I had kids but THIS weird behaviour did), calling herself mum and trying to stop me bfing so she could have him alone, at 4 months!!! When I was having a lovely jokey time with my then toddler she said, "that's very unfair, you're trying to make him like you more than me" 😮

One crunch point (among many, of me raising massive barriers to protect myself from someone I had just naively assumed I would get to know better, well I guess i do now...) was this....
I was at home having another lovely lovely time with my three year old when he suddenly said "why aren't you a nice mummy?" I had to leave the room to cry so he wouldn't see me.
Some time later, we were at hers and she wanted to get him into his pyjamas. I was bringing something to them along the corridor and I heard her saying "what an awful mummy you've got, she's not very nice is she" on and on, planting these little seeds ☹️ and I realised my little boy hadn't been doubting me as a mummy, he was just confused by the different information he was getting. I was too shocked to say anything then, actually went into denial I think, but the next time I heard her whispering "Your mummy is awful isn't she" (again as I approached unseen) he shouted "NO SHE'S NOT". I see as little of her as possible now, but my FIL is very supportive.

🏅 perfect response 👌