Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

Yes not a single kind word or assistance when I was in need. Dd2 was over a month early and not feeding well they turned up empty handed and expected to be “hosted” as usual. Struggle to move on from that.

@MamaHood conveys my feelings perfectly
She’s horrid and I feel angry and stressed every time she visits

Of all this things the worst was…

My mil didn’t call message, call or contact me in any way to offer any kind word while my child (her second GC after his sister) was in Nicu. He was there over 2 weeks.

She was able to monopolise my DHs time down the phone, mither him daily and gossip about my private medical health to my BILs girlfriends family. 👍

she was also able to harass and cry down the phone at my DH at length for not sending high res photos of my son* (which when I kindly sent just to make her stop) and she couldn’t say fucking thank you.
and Shen I pointed this out cried down the phone to her son and i somehow was talked into apologising to the self absorbed narcissist
😫😫😫😫

she actually *printed and framed A4 sized copies of pictures we sent via what’s app put them on her fireplace then photographed them to demonstrate how low res they were… then kept this photo in hand waited a while and then sent it and phoned my husband to whine about it while he was in the middle of a big annual piece of work and she was halfway through a holiday abroad (ie no where near the fucking fireplace!?!) just bizarre….

My favourite was the description of my job as being “for abit of pocket money” so like a paper round or something. I’m a solicitor and earn about the same as her son.

Anotjer cracker was moving overseas because “there’s nothing to keep us here”. Two sons and a granddaughter didn’t feature.DH and I laugh about it she epically puts her foot in it all the time.

My MIL called me after my DH told them we were engaged, begging me not to marry him because as well as "seeming happy all the time", I'm Catholic "and we all know what they're like!)"
When we went away on holiday with our 6mo DS, she went through the drawers in my bedroom and removed the "family muslins" that she had given us!. She did leave a note telling us that she'd been through our drawers and DH preferred having his underwear folded differently,so she had redone it for him.

I’ve had it put to me in an argument that he was doing a lot (DH is helicopter parent) and that I was lazy basically

Then accused of keeping DH in my country (U.K.) deliberately like it was some sort of plot

Are you sure about that? There are 1000’s of babies in Ireland buried /dumped on land outside of churches as they weren’t baptised so couldn’t be buried in churchyards. If it was that easy then unless still births all parents would have baptised their own children to avoid what for them is a horrible fate.

There we go - the first defender!

not every MIL is evil only those who chose to be

So many things! She’s horrid and I feel angry and stressed every time she visits. Some classics include:

> told her we’re expecting another baby: ‘how are you gonna cope, you can’t even cope with one’
> repeatedly moaning we won’t let her bring her out of control dogs to stay in our pet-free house and declaring that I’m a dog hater and stopping her from visiting
> keeps telling me her son ‘does a lot’ around the house insinuating that I don’t do anything when I do almost everything.
> explaining that I’d been exhausted when she last visited because I was in early pregnancy she replied ‘oh I thought you were always like that’
> I said we’re like a family on gogglebox because they had 2 boys and she said ‘oh but they’re posh’ insinuating I am too common 😂

Half way through and this is leading the pack. (But it is close to a few other narcistic and evil actions/comments captured here)

suprised at this point no MILs have joined in to defend their reputations against DIL accusations.

My in-laws are pretty toxic. I’ll do separate posts for the worst ones, because I could write a novel.

My MIL tried to get my DH to leave me at the altar on our wedding day. She had parked her car right outside the back door of the church so she could sneak him out. She told him that he didn’t have to marry me as he didn’t owe me anything. My DH told her that he was marrying me and if she didn’t like it, she could leave. She stayed.

We had asked the mothers and grandmothers to wear blue. She wore all black. Even black hose. She went as far as dying her hair black. We had a spring wedding and everyone else was in pastels and light colors.

She referred to me as my husband’s girlfriend for the next seven years. She only started acknowledging me as his wife after my oldest DC was born. She tried to convince my DH to get paternity tests on each of our kids. He refused.

When we first married, she lived about an hour away from us. She liked to hang out at a dive bar that was near our house. She would come by our house in the middle of the night and scatter cat food all over our backyard. We had dogs that would eat the cat food and get sick. My DH told her he was going to report her for poisoning our dogs and she cried that she didn’t think I was feeding them and she only had cat food because she had cats.

Once, my DH was traveling with one of my cousins and I was staying home because I had to work. She tried to get someone from the bar to break into our house and “rough me up”. The bar owners and staff were friends with my Dad and put a stop to it. She claimed to be joking, but they told her she wasn’t welcome back. They warned me, I called my DH and he called her and went off on her. She insisted she was just joking, but my DH told her if anything happened to me, he was reporting her to the police and then cutting her off.

The thread refers to in laws in general. Not our fault it's the female of the species providing the worst examples.

Ex MIL when I was pregnant with DD1 said ‘are you aware you could have a black baby?’ ExH was dual heritage. I said I was aware of the genetic possibilities. She followed up with ‘don’t worry we’ll love it anyway …’ 😳

Sociopaths?

I ache for your poor child.

My FiL told my husband to ‘get that trained’ and told me, I was not old enough to have opinions..I was 30.

WTF 😡

Is this a joke?

Knew her 18 years and in all that time asked me about 5 questions about myself. Never took any real interest in our DS after the baby stage (he was her youngest GC). Perfectly pleasant and chatty as long as she was talking about her pet subjects. Didn't dislike her but it was all very weird.

A 2 hour rant at me about how my husband wouldn’t have cheated on me if I didn’t put him down and if I lost weight etc and how I wasn’t supportive enough of his career etc and more and more stressful stuff till my 17 year old son who heard it all from upstairs burst into tears and then she played like it was all a misunderstanding and she wasn’t yelling at me only talking…

one time she all but accused me of stealing her wedding rings only to find them a year later in the fancy Xmas dinner service she had put away on a high shelf.

accused me of deliberately losing or selling a crappy diamond necklace with a chip of diamond in it that some relative had given my daughter which I told her absolutely was not to come home to my house till daughter was older or it might be lost. I told her it never did come home with us so must have been thrown out with wrapping paper at her house or something.

just last week she rang me up and screamed how irresponsible I was not to immediately whew our American kids passport before trump revoked his citizenship. Could have just asked me to do it rather than tell me I’m a terrible mother for not having done it already.

mostly we get on ok. But sue is getting more and more temperamental in her old age.

My MIL’s digs are more subtle…

Just endless comments over last 20 years about how having children is women’s purpose in life (I’m childless), how children make life complete, how career women have their priorities wrong (I work as I have to pay the bills), etc etc. I doubt I’ve ever seen MIL without 5-10 throwaway comments like this and it’s exhausting.

My mum did that too!

Ah - I feel mean including this as MIL is tactless but actually very well meaning (but I think I can see where the ASD heritage in our family has come from.....)

She's also very old - in her 40s when she had DH so in her 80s when DC were born.

She never had them long and can't drive, but I used to take her shopping and out to lunch etc so she always spent a lot of time with us and the young DCs. There were quite a few comments which were staggeringly rude - but if I pulled her up on it she always said 'well I didn't mean it like that, I'm not as good with words as you are.......'! (DH uses that excuse too when he pees me off......😁)

But the worst was - DS used to aways pull his socks off in his buggy. No point putting them back on - waste of time. He was happy enough and all the books said cold feet/hands were not a problem. But she couldn;t bear it, and kept on and on about how dreadful it was for a (maybe 9 months?) baby to have bare feet. I kept explaining - and she said 'well I would hate my babies to catch pneumonia but then I loved my children'.

There are no words........

After my waters breaking and being left open all weekend so no sleep as constant leaking then a horrible extended induced birth where my son was pulled out of me in theatre. To then be told he needed to be in special care as he had an infection (no shit you left me with waters open all weekend). Delirious from lack of sleep and in shock about my baby being in special care. Breast feeding was not going well. I was in bits. Nervous wreck and very emotional. MIL turns up when we had said that we don't want visitors because he is really poorly. Ex midwife but with absolutely no tact. Partner tells her he's doing ok but not breast feeding well. She then says 'oh god you haven't got flat nipples have you?'
Because that's helpful for me right now when I'm already crushed with guilt. I don't even know what flat nipples are.
She also insinuated that I was a gold digger on more than one occasion. She's no longer with us and I actually do miss her so for anyone not getting on with their MIL at the moment, remember they won't always be here so try and appreciate them, even if they are infuriating sometimes.

Nothing terrible in comparison to some of these, but I did come downstairs when MIL was visiting to hear her tell my DD that she didn't need mummy.

MIL is one for trying to take over, do things just with DH and DD and exclude me, so that stung.

'We like you coming here with the DC to see us, just not this much'.

This when I was trying to build relationships after years of DH not speaking to them.

Now I see why.