Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

My mother-in-law is generally fine but as she is getting older she is doing more and more weird and sometimes nasty things (not just to us).

The worst to me was when my husband was rushed to hospital with sepsis (didn't know it was that at the time) and I was 3 hours away with work so she accompanied him. When I called and said I was nearly there, she said oh he's a lot more settled now and is sleeping so leave it for a little bit, head home and check in with DS (my parents had him) and I'll let you know when to come up. Now he's recovered she has said that the consultant had said that those few hours were critical and the consultant kept asking where I was. I've never mentioned it to DH that she sent me home as he would go nuclear but I'll never forgive her for that.

DH also had a bit of a revelation at Christmas that she is actually quite toxic, he's read up and watched a lot of online videos etc. about it. Her automatic reaction to things we have done or want to do is always from a place of negativity whereas my family give absolute relentless support, which makes her look even worse. My husband is getting his first ever brand new premium brand car this week for example, and is very excited, but hasn't even told her because she will just bring him down and will ask lots of inappropriate questions about finances etc. which are of no concern to her. I will bet in the next month or so she will start asking for help to look for a new car for herself too as she will be jealous of him. This is exactly what she has done repeatedly in the past too and we have only managed to see this pattern when chatting things over recently.

His dad died very suddenly when he was only 37 years old and left him a little bit of money. He used that money to start his own small business. When he sold the initial van to trade up to a better one, she went on and on about it so much that it was the money from his dad that helped him start his business and he'd be nowhere without "them" that she guilted him into giving her the money that his dad left him. Absolutely disgraceful as she was left A LOT of cash when he died and gets a very healthy pension too. Heartbreaking.

@DeedlessIndeed no that's pretty awful in many many ways I'd be very careful leaving her alone with dc

Interesting how many mils like to say their sons are doing lots and woman is lazy.

I wonder if this will change with more than equal roles?

Some nasty stuff here.

Mine take money off my husband at any opportunity (they consider him ‘rich and successful’ so fair game) and never bother with our children (again because they consider my husband to be successful). Not sure why my husband’s success means they don’t need to bother with their GC? On the otherhand they pander to their ‘less successful’ daughter and her children. Their other GC are much more deserving of their love and attention apparently.

I am done with them.

my 1 husband was alone a nasty violent bully but his family were worse they did all they could to split us up and also to do all they could to tempt him away from me and my kids with drink. he was a chronic alcoholic died at less that 60 from that and they were all the same they were always getting him to leave me and go on week long benders. i never knew where he was or when he was going to go. sometimes he was going up town shopping etc and just went. once he took the electric bill money to pay it and I did not see him for 2 weeks.
his sister the day after our wedding day tempting him over to go drinking they all lived about 15 miles away and he woke up next to an ex gf. the sil was implicated in this getting him drunk and encouraging her to sleep with him he was never faithful my 5 year old at the time was given crisps to sit in the beer garden be quiet while he had sex with a barmaid in front of her i did not know where him or the kids were same as the one day i had someone land on my doorstep to tell me my kids were sat on a doorstep of a pub in town.
worse was his mother when my darling mother died, we had a very bad time with mum having ovarian cancer she died at only 61, we did all we could to help her at home but she was so ill and her pain would not be controlled at home she was taken into a local cottage hospital. for 3 weeks i spent my time going between there and my kids at home. at first my husband was marvellous and supportive amazingly especially as at the time I was trying to help dad who was totally devastated of course
after a few weeks it came to it that mum was at the end of her life we did not want her dying alone i really honestly did not think i could cope with it nor my sister so my ex said he would do it sit with her through the night.
to help me he said he would get his mum to come and stay with me at 4 in the morning my bil came to the house to tell me mum had gone. upset he gave me a hug before leaving.
when my ex got home he told her me and bil had been groping and snoggin each other. ex was so paranoid he believed it.
during the day we had to cope with telling my young children etc then it got to mid afternoon and mil started. she said are we not having any meals today? i apologised and said sorry its been a very full on day including a visit to see dad to comfort him
her reply was well fuck the dead think of the fucking living
she then stormed out the house with ex in tow getting drunk at the local pub. getting back ex crashed out in bed dropping a cig into a bin causing a fire which thankfully i stopped in time then i asked ex how was i going to go to where dad was as we had a chance to see mum that evening in the chapel of rest so was desperate to go
stupidly i know please no comments on this i let my ex drive us to dads he was still over but was bit more sober anyway a mile from dads he crashed car into a bank grass type her and ex got a lift from someone going by then they went on train to her place
meanwhile i was stranded mile from the town kids of 6 and 7 on a dark country road i ended up staggering with carrying the kids all the way to dads 2 miles no way could i take them to the chapel of rest but by time i had managed to get there it was too late
dad was in pieces so could not get us home but luckily a friend of his who was with dad did get us home ex came home just in time for funeral
she was a vicious nasty bitch and i hate them all

where do I start….
told me she hoped I’d never be able to have kids. On our wedding day.
when I had a miscarriage, told me it must be something wrong with me because nobody in her family had had a miscarriage
And after a long Labour and an emergency section, her first words to me an hour after being patched up was that I looked rough.

Unfortunately, most of my in-laws are quite toxic. They are quick to call me a gold digger. I had graduated from college and bought a home that was mostly paid off before my DH and I married. I helped him finish college and pay off his debts. While I was a SAHM, I started my own company and worked at it from home. Now that our DC are older, my company is successfully supporting our family and my DH works for me.

UIL said I cause my oldest child to get type 1 diabetes because we lived in a certain big city. He said that God was punishing us for not moving to the small town in the middle of nowhere where the in-laws live. Most of the in-laws have either type 1 or type 2 diabetes.

UIL’s oldest son would hit on me at family gatherings anytime my DH was out of earshot. Of course I always told my DH and CIL would say he was kidding, but would do it again at the next opportunity.

As bad as my FIL and MIL are, my oldest SIL takes the cake. For years, she was nice to my face and saying really awful things behind my back. She claimed I married my DH for his money. When we married, he didn’t have any. His job wasn’t great, he was in college part time and his car was a beater. I had graduated, owned a home and had a nice car. I put my DH through college.

Her mask started to slip a few years into my marriage, when we started having kids. She started telling everyone that I was neglecting and abusing our children. She lived a five days drive from us, had never been to our home and had never even met some of our children. The others, she had seen for a couple of brief visits (less than an hour) at family gatherings, when they were babies and toddlers. We barely had any contact with her because she is an alcoholic, drug addict and was living with a convict pedophile. When other relatives told my DH what she was saying, he called her and told her to stop. She refused and threatened to assault me, so we cut her off.

After my FIL passed away, my DH was the beneficiary for some investments. They were sold by stepMIL and SIL convinced her that she had made up with us and would send us the money. StepMIL isn’t very savvy and gave her my DH’s share. She never sent him anything. We decided not to pursue it because it would bring too much drama and the potential for her to get violent is too high.

Yes, we think they most likely are. At least his Father for sure. His Mother is either one or has had her spirit broken to become one.

We've been given stories on the grapevine of how they have detonated other relationships, been sacked from jobs. So the destruction is ongoing.

It's weird as when people do something so evil and nasty to you and your child you almost begin to think you've made it up or blown it out of proportion. So it feels horribly validating to know they are still acting like this to others.

It's very hard on DH. He wants a birth family, for lack of a better term....but he is 100% sure he doesn't want his birth family. We are all very close on my side of the family, regular dinners, visiting cousins and aunts etc. He misses what he never had, but is a fantastic Father to DC.

My FIL never liked me because I wasn’t Pentecostal. Despite being raised in it, my DH left the Pentecostal church when he left home at 18 and joined a church in the religion I also practice. FIL spent the rest of his life trying to talk my DH into leaving me. He kept telling DH that God had told FIL I wasn’t the right kind of girl for DH.

When I was pregnant with our fifth child, we had moved to a city over a 12 hr drive from my maternal relatives and a three days drive from my paternal relatives and in-laws. My FIL called my DH almost daily to tell him that God had been speaking to FIL and telling him my DH needed to leave the kids and I and go back to”home to FIL”. He said that God would punish my DH for disobeying FIL.

FIL was a non-compliant type 1 diabetic. We had flown with our five DC, 3 of whom were babies and toddlers still in diapers, to visit the in-laws. FIL wanted T-bone steaks on the grill, so we bought them, along with other groceries. My DH grilled them while I made a low carb vegetable recipe as a side. My oldest is also a type 1 diabetic, so I had our food scale. I taught stepMIL how to weigh FIL’s food for an accurate carb count for dosing his insulin. FIL dosed and we had dinner. A few hours later, FIL ate a tub of ice cream without dosing and then spent the rest of our trip blaming me for making his blood sugar so high he got ill.

When FIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer, my DH refused to have me help with his care, even though I am a former hospice nurse, because he knew the in-laws would blame me when FIL passed.

My MIL told me when I was pregnant with my second child that I shouldn't be having a C-section as my first birth wasn't that bad. My first child was a severe shoulder distocia, resuscitated at birth, suffered brain damage and spent two weeks in NICU. I had PTSD for years afterwards.

Kept calling me a cow when I was bf DCs.

Kept saying DCs only looked like DH.

Not one nice comment in 30 years.

MIL saying “You don’t need that” when everyone was ordering a takeaway and I had put on a few pounds.

A boyfriend's SM was much younger than his Dad and they had a young child. First meeting, I was invited for Sunday lunch. When their little boy asked for his gravy to be put on his plate so it looked like mine she stormed out shouting 'what have you done to my men'.

She drove me home and told me not to even think about getting 'accidently' pregnant to trap him as I'd ruin his life. I looked her straight in the eye and told her that clearly it would be my life that would be ruined. For some reason she told people we got on really well and were good friends. Strange woman.

When I announced my own engagement my mother sat with a face like stone and said, 'I don't want to be a Grandmother to them (his) kids'. I never got married or had children in the end but I'd have plenty of stories if I had.

When someone's disabled child died, she said 'well, he didn't do anything. He just sat in a (wheel) chair'. When their close friend died she complained that they'd lost their lift to the airport now (he used to take them) and what were they going to do. When my dear friend lost her husband she said, 'well, that's the house paid for'. Awful woman.

Some of these stories are sickening. To all posters and readers who have experienced this, just know that you were/are dealing with someone profoundly sick. These cruel words come from the mouths of disturbing, nasty people.

I just remembered that in the late 70s, MiL was furious that DH and I had put both of our names on the house deeds. "It's just a load of women's lib nonsense" 😂

My MIL told me my career wasn't as important as I thought it was, it was just something to keep me busy whilst DH worked because I didn't have children.

I've never subscribed to the whole "bread winner" concept because without both our wages we couldn't afford our home, holidays etc. But I am the main breadwinner and PIL just can't wrap their tiny brains around the fact that their son isn't. Said son isn't bothered by it but their whole life revolves around the man being the most important thing and all women should centre their lives on ensuring the men are ok.

Saying that I was a 'good girl really, can't remember why.

When applying for a grant 8 months after we were married saying it was a pity my name wasn't 'tb' meant a mandatory not discretionary award. Looked her right in the eye and said 'it is'. Back in 1978 I'd changed my name on marrying as did nearly everyone.

My in laws have told us to get an abortion every child my oh has had. Funny enough same thing wasn't said to his sister who had a child after us.

Pregnant again.. wonder if it they will say it again 🤷🏼‍♀️

SIL told my oh to get a prenup because he has a thing for "gold diggers" and to protect himself, hate to burst her bubble that I'm the one that would need it more then him. But then again she called our children some awful names in the same conversation and therefore has never met our 5 year old and oh went no contact with her.

I knew there would be miscarriage comments. I’m so sorry.

After my miscarriage at 16 weeks my MIL enjoyed speculating (not to me, the coward, to my mum) about what was wrong with the baby. ‘ Some people can’t carry girls ‘, because I had 2 boys by then. Oh fuck off Sherlock.

And then (imagine her own daughter is called Deirdre, who had 2 young girls at the time), ‘Deirdre will need to know what was wrong for the sake of her children’. Yes speculating about a genetic problem which might affect future great grandchildren on your side who may never exist anyway is just the perfect thing to say in earshot of a grieving mother.

Depends whether they've actually gifted it to him or not.

No.. as they bought it I don’t think anything is in his name? Am I wrong?!

Have you told her that you have a share in the property as you're married?

Good on you xx

PiLs - Smiling assassin(s) to my face and very generous to their son (my H) and my DC.
But, I am 2nd wife to a Golden Boy (narcissist I realised ~10yrs in)
And from the outset (20+ years ago) these are the gems - at least they set the tone and I haven’t wasted too much of my time or generosity on them over the years:

Sat me down the first time I met them and explained that women shouldn’t work until their kids are at school. Has treated my professional job like I do a hobby clipping toenails ever since.

rang me persistently on the other side of the planet after he’d proposed and returned to the UK before me (I replied between flights, worried that something bad had happened), just to ask me several times if I was happy I’d finally “trapped him”
Still not sure how I was meant to have replied.

Announced to his friends at our engagement drinks that losing first DiL - they were married less than 3 weeks before she buggered off - was like grieving a daughter🤔

Went through a very odd stage of calling baby DS1 her son’s name, being very possessive, micromanaging and undermining of me/anything I did, that was scary for a bit. We moved further away.

Walked into my hospital bay after DS2 was born and said she commiserated that she felt sorry I’d only have daughter-in-laws, nothing else.

(Countless mean paper cut comments and general pass.agg. over the intervening years)

MiL thinks she is the kindest diplomat on planet earth and tbf, knowing that she does and always has loathed me, the mask seldom slips. She once explained (whilst pissed) that she’s a very jealous woman. God knows what she says about me behind my back but her ext. family are cool towards me and I know exactly what she used to say about ex-BiL behind his.
One day I will leave them all. I just can’t bring myself to put them through another (3rd) divorce of their precious kidult children yet and I’m scared my kids will hate me for it.

You’re the second poster who has taken exception to @FNDandme being unhappy about being given clothes that were not her size. If she is much smaller than size 20 she might not have looked grotesque but she would have looked ridiculous, but more importantly she’d have needed a pair of braces to keep the sodding things up. Joggers that fit are comfortable. Oversized just bunch up