Worst thing your in-laws have ever said or done to you?

I'll preface this by saying MIL has alcohol dependency issues and is generally not a nice person, the reason we had her stay with us is because she has a young daughter, DH's half sister, whom DH worried about and loves very much.

They were staying with us after some sort of crisis. MIL had a blazing row with DH over the way she let her DD hit our son and laughed about it. She left in a massive temper with her DD and went to stay with other family in London.

While there she badmouthed us in general, but she also told DH's family that I physically abuse my children; went into great detail about how I slap them, kick them, starve them. Said I emotionally abuse DH and have probably cheated on him. They didn't all believe her but she is a very skilled liar and most people tend to think there's no smoke without fire, so that's how we found out, when someone messaged DH asking if he was ok.

I haven't spoken to her since. I was so fucking nice to this woman despite how DH grew up, ACTUALLY abused and neglected. I convinced DH to have pity on her when she'd fuck up her own life again and again and endanger her DD, putting her boyfriends first and neglecting her needs. DH is now friendly with her for his sister's sake, she lives with us full time now thank god. I don't think I'll ever forgive her for lying about me, I can't bring myself to be in the same room as her.

Sorry, what's wrong with that? It sounds quite thoughtful, they wanted you to be comfortable? Or do you think of size 20 as grotesque?

Ex in-laws: generally controlling behaviour; opening my post, telling me I was a shit mum for not taking care of my children the way they took care of theirs etc. I pushed back every single time. The worst stuff though was after I left their abusive son. My children still had to have contact with their dad and by extension his family. The way they treated my children especially the younger one who has SEN is despicable. Making fun of how he talks, his looks, everything he’s interested in. They told him “he’s like this because his mother (me) made him this way”. There’s more but it upsets me to talk about too much. I didn’t find this out until after he refused to go anymore. I don’t care that they hate me and slag me off I can laugh about most of their pathetic shit now. But don’t upset my kids. They didn’t do anything to deserve that. I would never wish death on anyone, including them. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to toast with my husband when they finally fuck off to hell where they belong.

Current in-laws are breath of fresh air! Don’t always agree with them about everything but that’s not an issue. We can talk about stuff we need to without anyone shouting and being a dick,

Blamed me for all the dysfunctional crap in their own family (amazingly enough I didn’t know my DH when he was packed off to boarding school aged 8!)

Accused me of doing and saying stuff I never did (luckily I haven’t spoken to them in over 10 years now, so don’t have to deal with their nonsense).

Like a lot of posters, snide remarks about weight post partum - I imagine it’s probably rooted in jealousy over being young and fertile! 😂

My son has ASD but MIL has never accepted the diagnosis - apparently ASD isn't a thing and his behaviour is all down to shit parenting. Anyway one time she said that his autism was all because of me and that was what I had done to him and I make him cry, and he doesn't need me, he just needs his dad.

I haven't spoken to her since.

I hear this excuse so much. Imagine your friend, partner or even your child behaved that way? Would you excuse this behaviour?

Told me PND was all in the mind and a sign of being weak.

Do you think their Catholicism might have anything to do with brining up such a good man, who sticks up for you?

Never anything to my face, but they threw my ex out when they realised he was in a relationship with a white person, wrong religion and already had a child with someone else. They also refused to allow the DC to visit for around a decade, they always came to us. Then that changed one day, no idea why. Luckily for them i’m fairly laid back, non grudge holder and supported my DC having a relationship with them. DC are grown up now, 20 and 17, and to be honest they just think their grandmother is a bit bonkers! Sadly grandfather has passed. Ex MIL have ironically always liked me and i’m the only DIL she didn’t fall out with. I guess she had zero expectation of me, and realised I was actually nice. Not the terrible person she expected.

Just recently I was really sick, got tested came back as influenza A. I felt shocking as you do when you have the flu but it was my sons uni graduation so I dragged myself out of bed and put on a nice outfit. Attempted some make-up and put my hair in a ponytail. MIL was coming over to mind the dogs ( she's nice with things like that as the event was hours away so couldn't leave them alone - it's just that she hops around with her foot in her mouth).
She walks in takes one look at me ( I'm all ready to go) and said really loudly "you look terrible!" I just sort of wilted and said "gee thanks" Then she suggested I put on a brighter lipstick as that would help.
She does have a good heart but she just wouldn't know tactfullness if it flew into her face. There are so many more but I'm at the trying to ignore them stage now.

I wasn't that bad, not nearly but I'll always remember when I was trying to get MIL excited about our new baby (her first grandchild) and when she was talking about her new car I joked there might be a car seat in the back soon... and she snapped back "I'm done raising my babies I won't be raising yours!". All I was trying to imply is that she might enjoy having a day out with her grandchild at some point, maybe taking her out somewhere and spending time together... not that she'd be raising her! I found it so strange. There is not a single part of me that would want to offload my child on a grandparent to raise. She has made true to her comment and rarely sees dd. She came around to see her once after her birth (3 years ago) and hasn't been to us since, we go to her (maybe once or twice a year). So I don't know where she thought she'd be "raising" her.

My MIL is generally lovely, but she’s still convinced that I don’t really work because I’m a freelancer.

Doesn't matter how often I drop in comments about deadlines or new projects - I think she assumes my work (I’m a full time editor/writer) is a nice little hobby and I spend my days baking cakes, going for walks and writing the odd little story here and there. In reality I work every hour I can!

Well to be fair......

Shouldn't that be your partner / husbands job to ask them that?

Mine are great really but MIL did get really offended one time when I just stated, factually, that I had been the main breadwinner for a number of years now. She thought it was upsetting or emasculating for DH for me to say it. DH was like 🤔🫣 "Umm, not really."

Not the worst thing but it's in the top 5. My SIL made the mistake of slagging me off to my husband a few months ago. He obviously told me, and I contacted her and asked her to talk to me rather than about me in the future because we're both adults, and DH will tell me anyway so why not cut out the middle man.

She then started harassing my husband via text about how I'm abusive and coercively controlling him into giving me access to his texts, because that's the only way he would ever tell me what she said (🤨). When she wasn't getting anywhere with her tantrums, she threw in some threats to text our disabled child about how toxic and horrible I am.

She carried her tantrum on for a week, and just kept escalating. It got to the point DH had to take two days off work sick with stress because his own health issues were triggered by the stress and he couldn't function.

DH and I have been together for nearly 5 years, married for nearly two.
Before cutting her off and blocking her, DH pulled SIL up on the fact that she wouldn't have waited nearly 5 years to mention my "abuse" if she was genuinely concerned, rather than just angry got caught out. SIL promptly told him that she's blocking him to protect her own mental health 🙄🙄

Oh and SIL is 33 😬

It's not that bad compared to some of the stories on here, but they did openly express their disappointment that we were having a boy when I was pregnant.

I was trying to adjust to the idea of having a boy having imagined having a girl, and having them express their disappointment really didn't help.

I love my little boy in the end and wouldn't change him for the world.

Announced our engagement to all our family before it even happened!

Dd was born very poorly. When visiting us for the first time in nicu, fil said perhaps Dh and I are genetically incompatible. Dd has since died and I’ve never forgiven him for such a thoughtless, hurtful comment.

Were my ex-inlaws but at that point they were still being really nice to my face and I thought they were decent people. Then I found out they had made a whole lot of ridiculous reports about me to social services and even asked the social workers if they could adopt my DD!

Isn’t it nice that ‘bigger’ girls go to the gym. I’m a size 12, Crossfitter, marathon runner , Ironman.
maybe if you spent your money on things that made you look ‘nicer’ rather than the gym. Such as Botox, etc

My mil one Christmas told me she did not get me anything as she was waiting for the sales to buy me something. I am still waiting for the present for that year.3years ago, again mil and sil (they live together) told me a month before Christmas, don't buy us anything as we won't buy you anything due to the cost of living,

After telling MIL that DH & I couldn't have children, she proceeded to tell me how easily she fell pregnant.

Interestingly, she assumed the issue was me. It wasn't, it was DH, but I didn't want to embarrass him by saying that.

She still tells me 'tips'.

How long do you have?

MIL, before our wedding, was lovely until SIL became jealous & set MIL off with lies about me. I was very young & endured hours of verbal abuse & DH didn't defend me. Just sat there. Looking back, I should have run.

Years of nastiness, ignoring my wishes with DC & feeding them loads of sugar & junk & being alternately lovely and nasty.

The worst, though was after my 2nd was born she came to my house to tell me 'everything wrong with my behaviour. She honestly thought I was going to sit calmly, listen & apologise. I've still no idea what her issue was because I asked her to leave. She had a full on tanty, screaming and yelling insults. THEN rang DH & told him to come home as his wife would be in a ball, rocking & crying. I was actually trying to settle both DC who'd she'd woken with her screeching (but my fault, apparently!). I just told DH I'm fine, I was expecting it one day, but I'm done.

He went to IL's that night & FINALLY told his parents to pull their heads in or her go NC. I did go NC.

What's worse is no one would pull her up. DH, FIL, SIL. I was still expected to be pleasant & pulled up on any infraction (I forgot to say please once).

I'm going to own it. When MIL passed I cried - tears of joy. FIL quickly remarried her friend, who is an absolute lovely lady & FIL is no longer nasty & rude. SIL has lost her back up so we barely see her. She'd become so bad her funeral was quite sparse. Her behaviour had pushed so many people away.

So so many comments down through the years

• Early 20s and wearing a nice bright red nail varnish, FIL told me I was ‘cheap’
• First week much wanted premie DS was home, MIL told me about how many SIDS babies she knew of, and terrified me
• Seriously ill in ICU, two month old DS - very stressful all round - retired PILs visited the hospital and decided to tell their friends / wider family I was not that sick. To this day, I get asked am I feeling ‘better’ after my brush with ‘postpartum depression’ that my MIL diagnosed me with, not that I was in ICU seriously ill
• Both PILs regularly describe me as a bad fit for their family, as my parents are divorced
• When drinking, my FIL has twice decided to ‘tell me how it is’ and has literally chased me around trying to corner me so he can shout at me
• Constantly tells the man on the street how I hold their son back and how much he suffers…..
• Recently wrote a letter to my DH to tell him that I take up too much of ios time, we’re happpily married nearly 20 years
• MIL turned up late for our wedding, so I was 45 minutes late to the ceremony until she got there / delayed our entire day, but the alternative was to start without her which didn’t seem right
• FIL changed the list of songs for the wedding band….to what he liked

I could go on and on…. contact is limited, DH fed up to the back teeth of their behaviour

Large family gathering at Christmas with all the in-laws, nephews, nieces and our family. We were chatting about a member of my family and their serious health problems , FIL pipes up from across the room and in a very loud voice asked DH whether all of family were fat like me!
On that day I vowed they would never be invited to our house again and for the rest of their stay I went into work even though I was on leave. DH still visited them with DC but without me. After FIL died I resumed normal relationship with MIL, who although she had flaws was a a kind soul.