To leave DC home alone at midnight?

hell no

No way and I am super relaxed and have taken many batterings on MN over the years for relaxed attitude to leaving home alone.

no way.

at 11 i was regularly left in for hours and often had my sister who was 6 years younger as well (lived in a flat across from a neighbour who was in most days & had lived there since before i was born) but i wouldn’t do it with my own.

i’m aware i’m ott but whilst i’ll leave my 14 year old during the day i wouldn’t leave her at night and i wouldn’t leave her with younger ones. Again, i was babysitting for 3 kids at 15 on my own but it’s not worth the risk. At 15 i’d consider your scenario but at 12 & 9 not a chance!

Absolutely not. You might be 10 minutes away, but that's a long way, if there's a problem, especially if you're walking (assumed you'd be walking, as you mention alcohol). Daytime for a couple of hours is one thing, but this is longer and at night.

Of course not! Jesus op.

No, and I’m on the lax end of MN attitudes about leaving kids at home. Too young to be left that late, and not enough build up from being left for an hour or 2 in the day time, and a 12 year old shouldn’t be responsible for a 9 year old.

My 15yo would probably be ok with this but have only left her until about 11 so far. However, I wouldn’t leave her in charge of her younger siblings and expect her to manage being left later as well. She’s never been left late enough that she’s going to bed and also being the babysitter, I think that is too much for a child to be honest.

basically, big fat no, for lots of reasons!

I have a 9 and 11(almost 12) year old. not a chance I would leave them. The older one is not old enough to have the responsibility for the younger one. You have no idea what they would do in your absence and it’s very unlikely it would be sleep. You will never forgive yourself if something happens to them. Just get a babysitter!

There is no specific age at which a child can be left alone at home in the UK. However, it is illegal to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk. If anything accidentally happened to them you and your husband would both be held responsible. Personally I’m with you and would not be happy leaving them at night.

Is the 12 yr old your son or ss? If the latter mum might not be happy that ds is being left alone

What time were you leaving once asleep?

Definitely wouldn’t personally. Far too young IMO.

Absolutely not. Get a babysitter or don’t go.

Mine are 14 & 11(y7). At the recent Christmas party, we got a babysitter in. This year at 15 & 12, we probably won't (we're not heavy drinkers and will be back before midnight and their current baby sitter is likely to be off to uni).

In the past year they've been left for a few hours at a time early evening (gym) but not yet past 9pm.

My boundary is times that they are reasonably awake. Neither reacts well to beeping alarm clocks, and I wouldn't like both asleep if they're not likely to be responsive to the smoke alarm.

The fire service did research following a major fire that had tragic consequences when a large family of children died in their beds having not reacted to the fire alarm. Children don't tend to rouse well to high pitched alarms (boys more so than girls). They're more attuned to responding to voices.

Is the house likely to spontanously combust in our absence? No, that would be incredibly unlikely. But the difference in outcome if it did randomly happen between waking hours and being asleep is potentially quite significant and much more favourable for them being awake.

No

FWIW I'm not sure I'd be looking for a babysitter in that situation as at 12 it gets a bit awkward.

I'd probably look for friends to have them for a sleepover or something with a reciprocal favour for those parents in the near future.

I agree. Mine are also the same ages

No. As a parent I just accept that there are some things I can't do until mine are older One of you could go and stay a few hours and then the other but I wouldn't leave them, no. Why not arrange a babysitter or ask a family member or friend if they could stay over?

It's definitely different at night.

Imagine the littler one wakes up and vomits on the floor/there's a power cut that causes everything to trip and alarm/there's a fire and they're panicky etc etc.

I always consider how I would feel justifying myself if things go wrong and I can only imagine the guilt and discomfort of having to come home to a neighbour who has been got out of bed to clean up and comfort in my absence and know I wouldn't want to risk it.

Would you be happy with their teachers knowing you were going to leave them alone in the house till 1am? If you'd be embarrassed or feel awkward at anyone knowing you have your answer.

(I work in a school, this would raise eyebrows and there would be questions).

No, for a few reasons such as even if you’re 12 year old is fine being left in the day I still think it’s young for them to be alone at night and would possibly be freaked out/ scared more easily home alone. Secondly, totally unfair to put the responsibly of your 9 year onto old them in that circumstance, whether they were asleep or not. (Plus surely your 9 year old would act up for them the second the know mum and dad are out for the night). For the 9 year old I know it would definitely be something my parent friends would probably judge if I’d told them, I think if I had a friend do it I’d raise an eyebrow at that age.

Nope. Too young and too late.

they aren’t old enough to go to sleep worried that you might not make it home.

you can’t guarantee you will make it. I’ve been the teen babysitter and my parents didn’t show up because my mother was rushed to the hospital. This was before cell phones, but still, it was extremely traumatic and I was much older.

I have a very mature 10 year old but I would not leave her at night like this.. I also have a 13 year old and we went for dinner about 10 minutes away and I kept making sure he was ok.. and he’s very independent.

Ask your dh if he'd considered what would happen to your kids if:
a) you were involved in an RTA on the way home (killed or injured)
b) burglary because thieves watching your house thought you were all out

These scenarios might sound far fetched but they do happen.

No, they’re too young.

Get a baby sitter.