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Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 03/02/2025 18:55

Leaving two kids is riskier than leaving one imo. The 12 year old isn't old enough to be in charge and the 9 year old needs someone in charge. And I've had a roasting on here before for being "too lax".

As well as the risks that have been mentioned previously there's also the risk of the 12 year old mentioning to friends they'll be home alone and accidentally landing themselves with other kids, and in particular older kids, turning up knowing there is no adult.

CandidRaven · 03/02/2025 18:55

No way would I leave them at that age no matter how close by I was

SaltyPig · 03/02/2025 18:54

I cant believe this has any veracity, hell no, not even for an hour.

honeybeetheoneandonly · 03/02/2025 18:54

How quickly would you be home if they called and said "come home now"? Would they be happy to be home alone? I don't think there is a chance in hell they'll be sleeping while you are out. Are they used to being home alone? I would only consider it, if the kids are fully onboard, have routine being home alone and you have robust procedures and contingency plans in place. I just can't imagine children this age being ready for this and not be terrified throughout the night.

Purpleturtle46 · 03/02/2025 18:54

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

Not in a million years.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 03/02/2025 18:53

Pay the nice neighbour to baby sit

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 03/02/2025 18:52

I wouldn’t. Probably in about 2 more years I would.

Grinchybinchy · 03/02/2025 18:51

Nope and I’d be so stressed out I wouldn’t enjoy the party

StressedLP1 · 03/02/2025 18:51

Nope

Katbum · 03/02/2025 18:51

It's too young to leave them while you go out to a party, your instinct is correct. Just get one of the neighbours to sit in yours, or get a babysitter.

ttcat37 · 03/02/2025 18:51

Wild to even consider it tbh. Stop being tight and pay the few quid a babysitter costs.

Figgygal · 03/02/2025 18:50

I have a 13 yo and 8yo and I wouldnt leave them together

YesHonestly · 03/02/2025 18:47

Absolutely not.

TheatreTraveller · 03/02/2025 18:44

Far too young, I'm a Children's Social Worker and although there is no legal age common sense should apply here and if anything happened you would be in serious trouble.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 03/02/2025 18:44

Absolutely not. Sometimes I am surprised when people write a post, such as yours OP, and they sound so reasonable and measured and sensible and then come out with the most (to my mind) outrageous suggestion. Of course I would not leave a 12 and 9 year old alone late into the night.

TorroFerney · 03/02/2025 18:44

DreamW3aver · 03/02/2025 17:50

Out of interest what are the risks that you are worried about?

I'm assuming the OP wouldn't be asking if her children regularly wake up during the night and aren't sick or fire staters. . Which risks are higher because there isn't an adult in the house for a few hours?

I'm not saying do it I'm wondering what the actual concerns are

I got left a lot whilst parents were out at the pub. When i was 11 I was left on holiday in an apartment on my own at night whilst they were in the bar (as why wouldn't they as they did it at home). I woke up to a male figure at the bottom of the bed who climbed into bed with me and who assaulted me. So there's that kind of risk.

HopelessHouseMaid · 03/02/2025 18:43

It’s a NO from me

Clarabell77 · 03/02/2025 18:40

No way

MumonabikeE5 · 03/02/2025 18:38

No. Is a whole sentence.

StopStartStop · 03/02/2025 18:37

Don't do that. It's too much responsibility for your older child. I speak as someone who was often left overnight (from the age of eight), with responsibility for my younger sibling, by my neglectful, abusive parents sixty years ago.

Redcandlescandal · 03/02/2025 18:36

Is this a joke?

CurlewKate · 03/02/2025 18:36

What do people think is going to happen?
I would leave the 12 year old if he was happy with the idea-but the 9 year old gives me pause. But I don't actually know why.

FromCuddleLand · 03/02/2025 18:33

Nope, I have 14, 12 and 9. I would leave the 14 year old if alone but not the others even with him present.

FcukTheDay · 03/02/2025 18:33

I hope this isn't serious.

Lemonyyy · 03/02/2025 18:33

Can you maybe just go along for an hour or two at the start then go home? I’d probably leave a 9 and 12 year old for a bit at say, 7pm, watching a movie. Then you can make your excuses and husband can stay later if he wants?

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