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Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:
TheSidewinderSleepsTonite · 03/02/2025 20:57

No chance. For the smaller reason of a nightmare or just being scared, to the bigger reason of a fire. I wouldn't do it for my children's safety...nor could I relax in that situation.

Schoolchoicesucks · 03/02/2025 20:56

I didn't leave mine alone at those ages. At 15 and 12 still make sure we are home before 11pm. My 12 year old may get anxious and it woildn't be fair on the 15 year old to have to deal with it. I don't think my parents left my sibling and I in the evening until the oldest was 14 or so either.

SummerFeverVenice · 03/02/2025 20:55

I was babysitting at age 12 too. Looking back on it, I don’t think that was a good thing. I was parentified at an early age. Caring for younger siblings from age 6, and then going out and earning a wage babysitting other families’ children at 12.

I missed out on a childhood by having to take on the responsibility that only an older teen (16+) or adult should take on.

SadieSeptember · 03/02/2025 20:54

Absolutely not. Babysitter or sleepover with grandparents or friends.

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:52

TickingAlongNicely · 03/02/2025 20:51

We also were transported about 5 or more in the back of a car....

But we know better now

Show quote history

No i was never transported 5 or more in the back of the car. My mum always made sure we wore our seatbelt.

However, everyone I knew was a babysitter at that age.

Definitely at age 13. Some at age 12. All my friends babysat for local families.

TickingAlongNicely · 03/02/2025 20:51

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:47

All the people saying it's wrong now.

Yet we were all babysitters at ages 12, 13 and 14!

I was looking after kids for other people at 12 and getting paid for it.

We also were transported about 5 or more in the back of a car....

But we know better now

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:47

All the people saying it's wrong now.

Yet we were all babysitters at ages 12, 13 and 14!

I was looking after kids for other people at 12 and getting paid for it.

Zone2NorthLondon · 03/02/2025 20:44

NO
Get a trusted babysitter or one of you goes and one stay home

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:44

Was no one else babysitting at aged 12?

I was a babysitter by myself at age 12. So was my cousin.

I used to go and be a babysitter for 2 toddlers. Their parents would go out and come back at about 2am

Neodymium · 03/02/2025 20:40

During the day, yes, but not at night.

mine are 15, 14 and 11 and we have just left them a couple weeks ago to go for an early dinner together and back by 9pm.

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 03/02/2025 20:39

Can’t you take them? Maybe leave an hour earlier

RainRainRain123 · 03/02/2025 20:35

No

TeamGeriatric · 03/02/2025 20:35

Mine are a similar age, and I wouldn't leave them home alone in the evening for a few hours, never mind until 1am.

DottieMoon · 03/02/2025 20:33

No way.

I can’t believe you would even need to ask!

myheadsjustmush · 03/02/2025 20:29

No. Just no.

NotthinglikeaBondGirl · 03/02/2025 20:29

NO, NO AND THRICE MORE NO. I think you will probably got the message now op. Get a babysitter & have a lovely time.

WonderingAboutThus · 03/02/2025 20:26

My kids are out alone during the day, allowed to stay alone during the day, and so on, in what clearly amounts to a minority view here.

And yet I wouldn't do this. Night is disorienting. Something happens, they go outside to get a neighbour, no jacket, lock falls in, key left inside, frozen cold if the neighbour doesn't answer, plus a panic. Stumble of the stairs when they wake up - they don't normally wake, but now they did because you aren't home - because they're half awake. They decide to go watch more TV beyond bedtime because whoohoo no parents, get hungry because such unusual timing, now decide to make themselves a snack, and problem with the microwave. Don't hear the fire alarm. Don't know how to respond. A burglar who sees the car is not home, who doesn't expect to find kids asleep as they are looking for jewellery and gets surprised. And so on.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 03/02/2025 20:25

I live in a different country where that would be very normal.

Anjo2011 · 03/02/2025 20:24

Personally no I wouldn’t. At a guess you are uneasy with it and your gut feeling is no otherwise you would just go ahead and do it. They are too young to left alone at night imo.

Merrygoround8 · 03/02/2025 20:17

No

schoolsoutforever · 03/02/2025 20:15

Personally I wouldn't at that time of night. An hour or so during the day, yes, prob OK but I wouldn't at that time. I wouldn't judge you if you said you did it but it wouldn't be right for me.

rivalsbinge · 03/02/2025 20:15

We would go to a neighbour house or next door but one but even then we would pop back and maybe aim to home about 11.30 latest.

I'd also only have a few drinks.

Annaannaannab · 03/02/2025 20:12

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 03/02/2025 20:07

Absolutely not. A 12 year old isn't old enough to take responsibility for a 9 year old or to deal with any emergencies. They're also both too young to be left for that long.

This too - the responsibility falls on the eldest and that’s far too much for a 12 year old

Annaannaannab · 03/02/2025 20:12

Absolutely not. 9 is far too young to be left alone in my opinion anyway - my youngest is 11 and I have only just left him alone and that was whilst I drove to the local shop a few minutes away , as an absolute must. He will be alone after school for a very short while in September but he will be almost 12 and that will just be for a short while until his older sibling is home.

I think around 12 is an ok age to be left alone in the daytime, before / after school- for when needs must - or in the day if they don’t want to go shopping etc …. But not at night .

Anything could happen - 1am is very late . Not only that but wouldn’t the younger one at least be scared ?

141mum · 03/02/2025 20:08

Are you mad

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