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Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:
Booboobagins · 03/02/2025 21:32

It's not about how responsible they are it's the risk of something going wrong - break in, fire etc.

You could buy a camera monitor and watch/listen in if you're leaving them alone, but I'd get a baby sitter in.

Nogoodusername · 03/02/2025 21:27

Too young. I’ve got a really responsible 14 year old and I’d never leave her at midnight with her 9 year old brother. On her own, yes. I’m also considered very chilled about these things as the 14 year old is a star with her brother, but this would be a nope for me.

BreezyAquaCrow · 03/02/2025 21:24

Mine are the same ages and I wouldn’t even consider doing this.

cocoromo · 03/02/2025 21:23

I would leave them perhaps through the day for a few hours if they has access to phone and I was very close, however I wouldn’t leave them at night and definitely not when they are sleeping and vulnerable.

Goinggreymammy · 03/02/2025 21:21

Do you mean they would already be asleep by the time you are leaving? What time will the party be starting? Unless it's starting really late, I think it wouldn't be appropriate to ask a 12 year old to get a 9 year old to bed.
And agree they shouldn't be alone at night.

onwardsup4 · 03/02/2025 21:18

I don't think this is real. I don't need to read the thread to know what everyone else would have said.
Of course you're not being OTT I would probably leave my 12 and 13 year olds for a couple of hours in the evening but not past midnight and certainly wouldn't have when one of them was 9

comoatoupeira · 03/02/2025 21:18

I would, with a baby monitor that the neighbours are in charge of. Any sound, they go in.

GrazeConcern · 03/02/2025 21:17

Mine are this age, I’ve just started leaving them together for 30 mins here and there in the day but I wouldn’t at night. I would leave the 12 year old (nearly 13) at night in this situation, if he was happy to.

ThePoshUns · 03/02/2025 21:17

No way. I consider myself to be laid back about this sort of thing but 9 is too young.

Eenameenadeeka · 03/02/2025 21:15

Absolutely not. I think it's crazy that he considers it an option

Mischance · 03/02/2025 21:15

No - just no. In the event of a fire or some accident that is a huge responsibility for a 12 year old.

Madre123 · 03/02/2025 21:14

Is this a joke 😡

Parrotinthehouse · 03/02/2025 21:14

Im pretty sure my neighbours do this.

Awful

Missj25 · 03/02/2025 21:12

Too young .
My youngest 2 are 17 & 14 & now, yes I would leave , and only because the elder of the 2 is 17 def not 12 & 9 …
I’m sure this is kind of really what you feel yourself or you wouldn’t be asking advice ..

Puppypower90 · 03/02/2025 21:09

Babysitter
Relative sleepover at yours
They sleepover at relatives

If you're leaving them for 10 minutes to go to the corner shop I'd say it's fine but the whole evening is too much.

Summerishere123 · 03/02/2025 21:09

Mine are that age and no bloody way would I leave them!

RosesAndHellebores · 03/02/2025 21:07

No. 10 minutes is too far. I was quite relaxed about that sort of thing. Sleeping DC and fire is the big worry.

Hdjdb42 · 03/02/2025 21:06

No.

OnTheBoardwalk · 03/02/2025 21:04

Nope if they had a row anything could happen and one could storm out and the neighbours would be around then

MikeRafone · 03/02/2025 21:03

Briannaco · 03/02/2025 20:52

No i was never transported 5 or more in the back of the car. My mum always made sure we wore our seatbelt.

However, everyone I knew was a babysitter at that age.

Definitely at age 13. Some at age 12. All my friends babysat for local families.

Show quote history

thats ok if there were seatbelts, our early cars didn't have seat belts in the back seats. 1990s there were still range rovers without seat belts in the back

Starsandall · 03/02/2025 21:02

No way. 12 fine during the day if you’re not going far. I wouldn’t want my 12 year old being responsible for a 9 year old.

MikeRafone · 03/02/2025 21:01

im fairly liberal and thought you were going to say in the same street -but 10 minutes away and the one child being under 10 years old - id be uncomfortable with.

ive gone away on holiday and my dd aged 16 was home alone with grandparent in the same town and saw her every day, not against home alone

MumWifeOther · 03/02/2025 20:59

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

No I wouldn’t leave either at home asleep at night for any period of time. Can a relative come and watch a bit of tv while you’re out?

RudbekiasAreSun · 03/02/2025 20:58

why on earth you would be doing this for alcohol ???? are you that low and lacking any morals

MaryGreenhill · 03/02/2025 20:57

No l would never leave mine at that age .

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