To leave DC home alone at midnight?

Absolutely not. I won't leave my 14 year old home alone that late at night

No. Just no

No, you should not leave them alone at night, asleep or not! That's totally irresponsible. Find someone responsible to sit in your house until you get home, get them to come early enough so the children meet them and know they will be there. Honestly.

I thought this was going to be leaving them for 10 minutes while you popped out to collect your DH from the pub.
At the moment I wouldn't consider leaving my 8 year old alone while I did that and I can't imagine leaving them alone for the entire evening without an adult there.

This

I would do for an hour in the daytime if they're sensible but not at night they'd be so scared

No. If any emergency arose, it’d be unfair for a 12 year old to be responsible, whatever the outcome.

I think my elderly brother was babysitting for me ages 13. I'm seven years younger. He was and is a great and hugely responsible person. Neither him nor I would let our children do likewise. Times have changed. Twelve is too young that late at night even alone. Being responsible for a nine year old just makes it really unfair. Elder not elderly! He's only in his 40s now and it was a while ago!

Nope definitely not
isn’t it illegal anyway under 14 ?

No not at all. You never know what could happen in your absence - especially that late at night when there are all sorts roaming around. It's mad to leave them. In my area lately which used to be very nice, we have seen a big increase in robberies while families are still in the house. Imaging someone's watching your home and knows you will leave alone that evening. A drunk with friends just isn't worth it.

100% no.Shocked you're even considering it.Would never leave my girls alone together until they are BOTH teens.
Why can't they stay with your neighbour if they have space, if they are so lovely?
If not surely you have a babysitter/relative/friend??

Too many people especially men it seems, have a 'don't worry about it til it happens attitude'
Don't buy into it OP.
Do you really think they would know what to do if there was a house fire or a burglary? (Unlikely but you never know) I'm guessing you're both drinking so what if something happened and you couldn't get home and they woke alone wondering where you were?

Put your kids before your social life.

No . That's really lazy parenting.
One of you go or get a baby sitter

It's common sense .

I would call Social Services if someone I knew was leaving a 9 year old home alone in the evening, especially after midnight.

I have children aged 8-13, they are very responsible and well behaved, and I think I’m a relaxed parent.

My thoughts with my own sensible children:

10: Ok to stay home alone for up to an hour during the daytime.

12: Ok to stay home alone for a couple of hours during the daytime.

14: Ok to be home alone for a few hours in the evening.

Your husband is bonkers. Neglectful in my opinion.

Is it really worth the possible risk to your children in order to save £40 babysitting? If you can’t afford a babysitter then don’t go out.

This. No way I'd leave a 9 year old supervised by a 12 year old

We started leaving our kids alone in the evening when DC1 was almost 13 and DC2 was 11.5. But at first it was us going to a restaurant a 5 minute walk away and being home by 10. DC were still up until we got home and we were texting them (until DC2 said Mum I’m fine stop texting me lol)

At 16 DD used to ‘hang out’ with a friend’s 12yo in the evening because his parents felt he was a bit too young to be home alone at night. They’d play board games or watch movies and then he’d go to bed at 9 without feeling nervous because DD was there. She’s also babysat for a family where the eldest was 14 but the younger ones were only 6 and 3 so it was too much responsibility for the eldest.

No way would I be going out to a party til 1am leaving 9 and 12 yr olds asleep in the house alone.

Absolutely not.

I wouldn't.

It shocks and saddens me that this is even a consideration. Those poor children.

you say your neighbours are nice , can they sit in ?

I’d only contemplate this if :

I had internal house cameras and could monitor live footage

neighbour was aware we were out

one of us was sober so could drive back safely and quickly in case of a situation

my house was 💯 secure and up to date security measures including new windows and doors less than 5 years only

wired in smoke and carbon monoxide detectors

sprinklers in fire escape no cladding in building

electrical certificates stating house up to code
both of us would need mobile on and charged

kids would have had to have had fire escape training including escaping from windows safely

burglar in training for several different senarios ( my kids know to drop and roll under bed and don’t come out no matter what they hear until police arrive or we give safe words

and only then would I consider it , maybe

I’m pretty sure legally a sibling can’t be responsible for another sibling unless they are 14 or over. So it’s a no I’m afraid.

To reiterate what others have said - NO! Please don't leave them home alone, they're way too young.
God forbid - if something happened (however minor) you'd never forgive yourself.

Even at age 12, i don't think i could've relaxed and gone to sleep until i knew my parents were home safe.

Also, consider the repercussions of one, or both of them telling their friends at school. You could well find Social Services on your doorstep!

Shout at me if you like, but we used to do this with DC at this age if we were round the corner at friends. It depends on where you are and on the children.

Not a chance. I don’t leave my 15 year old alone that late

Nope sorry

No way. Not at that age