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Original poster

To leave DC home alone at midnight?

308 replies

djdran · 03/02/2025 17:36

Bit of a WWYD really. DH thinks I’m being OTT, but I’m not sure.

We have two DC (12 and 9). We’ve been invited to a party next weekend, nothing wild, just drinks and a catch-up with friends we haven’t seen in ages. It’s at a house about ten minutes away, and we’d be back by 1am at the latest. DC would be asleep, and we’d obviously make sure they know how to contact us if needed. We have lovely neighbours who’d be in if anything went wrong.

DH says it’s fine, that DSS (12) is responsible, and they’ll just sleep through it anyway. But 9 still seems quite young to be left that late, even if we’re nearby.

Would you do it? Am I being a bit PFB about it, or is DH being too relaxed?

(For context, they’re fine being left for an hour or two in the day, but we’ve never left them this late before.)

TIA!

OP posts:
WompWompBoom · 03/02/2025 17:42

I'm definitely in the relaxed camp of leaving kids and that would be a no from me.
My DD is 11 and in year 7 and is reliable for a couple of hours in a morning before school and a couple of hours in an evening if needed. But I wouldn't leave them at that age until that late. Get a babysitter.

LaPalmaLlama · 03/02/2025 17:42

Mine are 14 &12. I leave them together if we go out in the evening but would be home before midnight. I wouldn't leave the 12 year old on her own yet and definitely not in charge of a younger child.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 03/02/2025 17:42

Hard no from me. Wouldn't relax at all.

CindereIIa · 03/02/2025 17:41

Absolutely not. They need to be mature enough to get out of the house fast in an emergency, e.g. a fire. No way would I leave my two (nine, 14) home asleep without an adult. I wouldn't leave them alone that late, i.e. bed time, til the youngest was 16, i would not even put that responsibility on to my eldest, however sensible and mature they are.

HappyAsASandboy · 03/02/2025 17:41

No, I wouldn't do this at 12 and 9. 12 is too young to be responsible for another child.

I wound leave them until 14 and 11 personally. My oldest kids at 14, and the difference between 13 and 14 has been amazing. At 14 I leave them in charge of their younger siblings (10 and 4) for short periods in the day/early evening, and I have left the two 14 year olds home alone until midnight, but not with responsibility for the younger ones (they came with me).

RubberDuckyURtheone · 03/02/2025 17:41

Absolutely not,get a babysitter

PrincessAnne5Eva · 03/02/2025 17:40

I wouldn't be able to do it myself, personally. There's a 99% chance it'd be fine, but I couldn't enjoy the night for worrying. I'd say 14 is the youngest age to be left alone at night.

Scirocco · 03/02/2025 17:40

Nope. Too young.

TheFairyCaravan · 03/02/2025 17:40

No way would I have done that

TheChosenTwo · 03/02/2025 17:40

12 and 15 I’d say not a bother.
Or 9 and 12 if you were next door/a few houses down.
But I wouldn’t have left mine at those ages.

Chipsahoy · 03/02/2025 17:40

Nope. 12 is not old enough to be alone asleep in the house. In this situation with a 9yr old to have to deal with during an emergency too? Please don’t do it.

ChickenDeChick · 03/02/2025 17:40

Nope, your dh is being waaaaay too relaxed.

Hayley1256 · 03/02/2025 17:40

No way. I'm not sure I'd leave the 12 year old on their own let alone leaving them in charge of a 9 year old. Get a sitter or see if they can sleep at a friend's house

Zanatdy · 03/02/2025 17:39

No definitely not, and i’m fairly relaxed but I didn’t leave mine alone at night until at least 14.

Pippa12 · 03/02/2025 17:39

My children are exactly these ages. Personally, I feel my 12 year old can only be responsible for herself. She stays alone maximum 2-3 hours in the daytime. I would not leave my 9 year old for all the tea in China, day or night. Your 12 year old shouldn’t be responsible for a minor at anytime.

Lookuptrees · 03/02/2025 17:39

No way. Awful thing to leave for the evening asleep until 1am. Pretty irresponsible thing to do really.

HorrorFan81 · 03/02/2025 17:39

Absolutely not. Wouldn't be considering this until at least mid teens

TickingAlongNicely · 03/02/2025 17:39

12yo yes, if they were happy with idea.
9yo... no.

Do you mean 10mins walking though, since you mention drinks?

GottaShiftThesePounds · 03/02/2025 17:39

Nope. And I'm generally relaxed about most stuff

Wolfhat · 03/02/2025 17:39

Not at all, sorry

CrestWhite · 03/02/2025 17:39

Just get a baby sitter and save having a bad night worrying

sprigatito · 03/02/2025 17:39

No way would I leave a 12yo and a 9yo at that time of night. It would be completely irresponsible. I wouldn't even leave the 12yo alone in the middle of the night, never mind the 9yo.

BMW6 · 03/02/2025 17:39

Nope.

SALaw · 03/02/2025 17:39

Bloody hell

LostittoBostik · 03/02/2025 17:38

Too young. 16 and 13, yes. Not a 9 year old.

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