To refuse to fill in the form

Unfortunately, though it feels to you like the two things are connected, they're not. The person tasked with doing the admin for these forms won't be the same person who handles SEN needs, so it won't matter if you refuse to sign the form or send it back, the person ringing you won't be the same person who is supposed to be answering your emails. I have to collect paperwork from schools for a specific thing. In one school alone I can end up speaking to 4 different people who will be responsible for different parts of the final set of paperwork. None of these people are involved with the process needed for children with SEN, yet they would be involved in updating paperwork for free school meals, pupil premium, transport etc.
You need to follow the 'process' for each thing separately, as others have suggested, by raising a complaint, requesting an EHCNA and following the process required.

OP, are you sure this is the right school to instil confidence to you as a parent and support your children?

If it's not, then move them to a school that will

The FSM issue is separate. The council don't auto flag those entitled unless they've previously claimed. Once a person has claimed FSM they then qualify for PP funding for 6 years under ever 6 rules (bar some minor exceptions). It's worth school making sure you aren't entitled.

The SEN stuff you need to deal with along the route you're already on. SEN in school is very underfunded. Parents expect the world and staff just can't provide it.

Schools don't have family income on children's records, unless there is a very particular reason to do so. Neither do councils. The SCHOOL don't gain anything from you filling in the form, if you aren't entitled to FSM other than CHECKING WHETHER YOUR CHILD IS BEING FED. Other than the little bit of hassle from following you up, the school loose nothing from you not doing so. So in terms of not doing X because the school aren't doing Y, that's fine, but be aware that your games aren't a problem really for the school.

Thanks for the tag @HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend.

Try not to conflate the two issues. They are separate and should be dealt with separately.

If you are certain you don’t qualify for FSM, don’t complete the form. It is quite common for some DC who are eligible for FSM to not be in receipt of them, which is probably why the school has sent the forms out.

The lack of SEN support and ignoring you is a separate matter. The school must make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN and they must make reasonable adjustments. If the HT has ignored your complaint, have you complained to the Chair of Governors/the proprietor (depending on the type of school)?

If you have the email addresses for DC’s individual teachers, email them directly. If you don't have their email addresses and you can’t guess them, you could write them a note for DC to hand them.

You can use IPSEA’s model letter to request an EHCNA ASAP. You don’t need to use the LA’s form.

You've picked the wrong hill to die on here.

FSM brings in funding through Pupil Premium (as well as its main aim if feeding the relevant kids). My school gets £100k from that source and that's not even that high.

SEN costs money.

Do you see the difference?

However, regarding SEN, I suggest you make a parental request for EHCNA to the local authority. Don't hang on waiting for the school.

@BrightYellowTrain

Can you help the OP with her child’s SEN needs?

Have you started the EHCP OP , you can do this yourself?

Get a nice bold sharpie pen and write across the form "Please reply to my email of the xxxx date by 5th February. Then return the spoilt form to them.

There is a PP statement on the school website. Have a look. It is not intended to be spent per child nor are schools accountable for explaining per child spending. It can be spent on staff test training.

Not if he isn't even entitled to FSM though!

He will miss out on the enrichment PP brings for FSM children.

£1050 for secondary and £1480 primary and for the next 6 years.

Miss the deadline and you get nothing for the year.

Meant to put they get extra money for SEN children

Schools want people to fill in this form as the more children on FSMs the more money they can get, it's called pupil premium and is roughly 1500 for primary and 1000 for secondary, if your child is on the SEN register, they get extra money. A the school ask the senco what they are spending the money on and ask for proof, they generally get back to you pretty quick when you ask, if they can't tell you ask for the SEN governors name and ask them hope this helps

Unless the SEN manager is also the school cook or secretary I don't see why one issue is related to the other in any way. It's not just one person dealing with everything you know.

It would be like going to a hospital and trying to complain to a nurse that she hasn't fixed a broken vending machine.

They can't force you. But it's not the battle I'd pick when you are trying to get them to help you.

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. It won't make you feel any better in the end.

Ignore the letter. You know you aren’t eligible.

they however haven’t followed their complaints procedure. I’d email them title ‘formal SEN complaint’ citing your previous complaint and lack of action or response and include a log of all the times you’ve contacted the SENCO, school etc. copy in the board of governors and Ofsted and I’m sure they will be in touch quite rapidly

But surely people's eligibility changes with income and circumstances? I don't see how the local council would know that from year to year

I think you need to pick your battles. For the sake of 3 minutes which you've already wasted posting this you could have had it over and done with.

I'd fill the form in so much as your dcs name and then write N/A across the rest.

I'd then make a formal complaint about your child's SEN needs not being met, and your correspondence on the matter not being acknowledged or responded to.

Realistically there is not enough SEN support/time to go around so it might be even if they had funded support it wouldn't happen. But you should get some level of response in that kind of timeframe.

In the US we had to fill in those forms each year because if a certain percentage of pupils qualified for free school meals the whole school got free school meals. They needed us to complete the forms even if we didn't qualify presumably to show they had legitimate information. It was a huge deal because so many children qualified and wouldn't eat unless they got food from the school, which is horrifying. I don't know if getting that funding also qualified the school for additional financial support.

Is that the situation with your DC's school?

Does the form contain other information that they may be interested in like an indication of salary. My school was pretty hot on knowing which parents were worth tapping up for fundraising. Is there an ulterior motive here? Free school meals the reason, data collection being the main point?

Why not send in a letter of complaint to go along with the email you sent? Tape it to the back of the All Important Form leaving the side they want blank... . They sound a nightmare op.