Recent study of children joining reception class

Why do the teachers fib about that? What's in it for them?

This is a fib that teachers tell parents, that you shouldn't teach them before school because it will confuse them when they try to teach phonics. It's not true. The real reason you shouldn't teach your pre-school child to read is because there is no benefit to trying to speed up the age they learn to read and you are distracting them from their real work, which is play, and the things they really need to learn. The vast majority of 3-4 year olds are also not ready to learn to read and write and trying to make them learn it is arduous, appears to them to be pointless, and gives them negative associations with reading. But parents won't believe you if you say that.

Being school ready means being independent, confident and sociable, everything else can be taught by teachers and will be quickly picked up by a child who is ready to learn it.

If they know a few letters, numbers and shapes before starting, that's nice, but it makes very little difference to how successful they will be at reading.

I'm surprised at this, I taught my son (23) to recognise letters, sounds of letters and to read a bit by the time he started school. Surely this can only benefit the child, how can you teach a child to read without using phonics?

Same at our school - where the kids are all (as far as I can see) absolutely thriving.

I agree that an entire day with a very small child is absolutely relentless and I certainly don’t think the issues discussed here come about after half an hour of kid’s programs a day on a tablet.

I think it’s more that so many kids seem to be constantly glued to them - even while out and about when there are other things they could be focussed on.

Someone else said about giving kid’s a screen so they won’t be disruptive while out and about - but then how will they learn how to behave?

Ive never let DS watch a screen when we have eaten out, for example. I hate seeing it and I think it’s unnecessary and he has always behaved very well without one. I also allow him to be bored on as many occasions as I can - he can easily do a 2 hour car journey without needing to watch anything. It’s all about moderation.

DC primary school recomended that parents don't try and actively teach their DC to read (apart from recognise their name) before starting Reception, as most parents weren't taught using phonics and that's the approach schools have to teach.

I've not often heard people saying children should be able to read before staring school. I thought the general consensus was that kids in the UK are reading too early and the Scandinavian approach is better.

Congrats to all your cousins etc though obviously.

Cool.

Doesn’t mean it should be required of all children starting school.

(Toilet trained, I agree with)

Well all my siblings, cousins and kids/grandkids were toilet trained before school and could read basic stuff and some could write.

Recognising their name isn’t reading, plus multi-lingual kids often progress slower than single language kids.

I didn't agree with the VAT bit either just the nappy part but I think its not unreasonable to expect the majority of children to be able to read something, even if its just their name.

It will be a child with a medical condition probably undiagnosed if the teacher surveyed felt necessary to comment on it.

My daughter has has hypotonia and I have only just managed to teach her to crawl up stairs at 30 months. She never wanted to climb anything. She is still a way off being able to walk up without leaning backwards.

OP has exaggerated. Sadly, a quarter of children lacking adequate toilet training is accurate but stuff like being unable to sit up due to lack of muscle tone etc is about two children, it's not a widespread phenomenon. Read the report.

But your daughter would learn all those things more accurately and effectively and pick up other skills at the same time (evidence for this statement?) if

• An adult played phonics and maths games with her
We do, and she does at school, all the time. The tablet games reinforce them.

• she watched TV on a screen that other people could see at the same time so there could be conversation about what is being watched
We do ask have conversations, the tablet is not invisible to adults.

• she didn’t learn to expect every phone call to be a visible one and learned the important things and the etiquette around making calls rather than just being able to touch a picture of granny and have her appear.
She does make normal phone calls as well, on an adult's phone. Calling Grandma is something she can do independently.

• had an interactive experience taking pictures of someone else and having someone else take them of her
She also takes pictures of the cat and other people but self portraits are just as important.

• had someone read books and meditations
We do...but many adults also listen to audiobooks, and research shows it's as valuable as reading in terms of how it activates the brain.

• schools stick to giving out real books that are chosen by a real person with knowledge of the child rather than what comes next on an assigned scheme.
They do give out real books and a real person assigns the books to her from the ebook library. It's just a different format of book which she reads along with her printed book.

I hope that answers all your questions!

My daughter met all of her milestones early, is frequently noticed to be exceptionally polite and sociable and is reading ahead of her age range.

I'm sorry if you couldn't/didn't know how to use technology appropriately, but we do and she does.

I agree that kids without SEN should be potty trained by reception.

Able to read? No.

And I don’t think there is any justification for declaring the entire system broken or using that as a reason not to charge VAT on school fees.

Agree. This is our life. We read after school, they eat home cooked meals with very little meat or processed stuff - occasional sausages as a treat. School meals are cooked from scratch and my kids don’t eat meat at school to avoid the minimal processed stuff they offer.

Parties are very home made - I do the food and we have had entertainers but also just done pass the parcel etc ourselves. We used to invite the whole class when they were little but it didn’t really add to the cost - a few more sandwiches. Now they’re older it’s a chosen list and sleepovers or maybe cinema. Presents are similar - maybe a small Lego set for around a fiver. Nothing extravagant.

We are in London but have a dog so there’s lots of outdoors time. Dens, scavenger hunts, tree climbing etc.

Very similar to my own childhood. Things have been added - more choice of tv (not necessarily a good thing as the quality isn’t as good from America) and more video games - but my husband played them when he was young and I see their benefit in moderation.

I wonder if engaged parents are as engaged but those who aren’t have more damaging tools at their disposal - you tube / social media / mobile phones in particular.

When I was young, sticking someone in front of the tv was limited in time (as kids’ shows were only only on at certain times) and there was less shit (Sesame Street and decent cartoons rather than dopamine-frenzy rubbish made in someone’s garage).

There were no mobiles to play games or watch videos on, so out & about you used colouring books or puzzles or tiny toys to entertain.

Babies/toddlers/kids LOVE climbing don't they? Do these people not ever go to parks?

Without a car it would have been difficult to get to a park. Our local park, still a considerable walk away was full of broken glass, graffiti, missing and burnt out pieces of play equipment. Pretty depressing for both parents and children. We went once and my toddler picked up on how run down int was and asked to leave.

Thankfully we have a car so could easily get across town to a better one. We could also spend time in countryside, woodland etc so the children had a range of environments to play and build strength and gross motor skills.

It's important to recognise that some people's circumstances will be very different.

I find it fascinating any parent manages to get through the day without taking their kids out. When mine were born preschool and younger we went out first thing everyday otherwise they’d drive me mad.

I dont understand the stairs thing?

Babies/toddlers/kids LOVE climbing don't they? Do these people not ever go to parks?

Mine wasn't an early crawler or walker but once she could, she would climb up everywhere she could

Hi

That gives me some hope and relief, not sure were "here" is, but I am in England and much of what I have said has changed.

Large parties for kids are expected, which puts a large financial strain on families, many parents use electronic babysiters (IT) rather than sitting down with their kids and the art of conversation is dying as people stare at their phones and petty squabbles blow out of all proportion on social media.

I have a young woman on my street, with two pre-schoolers and she is a SAHM. She tries so hard with her kids, lots of interaction and lots of activities with exercise but she tells me that when a friend looks after them, or they have playdates, they in effect get electronic babysitters as they are left watching something on a screen. Sad really!

This isn’t something I’ve done - but have you seen how much grief parents get online for their children being, well children, whilst out and about. I can imagine if you aren’t strong in your beliefs it’s anxiety provoking and leads to trying to keep them quiet. Inc with the use of electronics when like you say, they should be taking the world in.

Up until the 1980s babies were potty trained before aged 2

According to my Mother...:i was dry through thr night by 18 months

But u really hate seeing massive kids running around with saggy nappies

I know parents that don't work but are bone idle and never bought their child a book or read them a story.

Most of this is still true for most people. Reading homework and books at bedtime is still a thing. Parties here aren't a whole-class thing. Gifts are still a small craft, book, hair accessories, etc., nothing major. School outings are still the same. School dinners are generally pretty healthy, and I know they only have chips on a Friday.

Having said that, we aren't at the stage yet where bullying really happens, and I'm dreading that. I will absolutely keep DD away from social media and phones as long as possible for her safety and mental health.

As for teacher respect, she's only 5 so has absolute respect and love for her teacher. When I was at secondary school in the 2000s many kids were absolutely feral and it was a horrible place to be, so same shit, different generation.

Totally agree with Ladykale here. Se are parentifying our teachers and that is not their remit. As much as they may want to help, they have limits.

The only children turning up to school in a nappy, should be those with a health issues , emotional or physical.