Recent study of children joining reception class

Literally no one said that.

The toileting issue I have mixed feelings about. I managed to get my child who has SEN toilet trained just in time for him to start school (he’s a summer baby so was 4). He wasn’t ready until then, I tried several times and luckily no one at pre school made us feel bad about it.

I’m puzzled by the unable to climb stairs at 4/5 years old though. I know they said about poor muscle tone but I can’t get my head around that at all, additional needs aside. Unless these children are waiting to see a paediatrician or similar as the waiting lists are so long so have started school without anything in place for them at all.

I don’t think this was aimed at you, it was aimed at the OP who was implying that children were lazy from watching too much tv. The poster was just pointing out that this would be impossible from working parents as was implied, as like you say if the children are are at nursery 12hrs a day they won’t be in front of the to watching YouTube day in day out.

I don’t think it was a dig at SAHP by this poster, she doesn’t even mention them, it’s more the OP was making a sly dig at SAHP by trying to dress it up that it’s the opposite but creating an impossible scenario.

Obviously there will be a small proportion of lazy parents whether they work full time or stay at home full time, but most of us are just doing the best we can!

My 5 year old starts school this year and has only recently came out of nappies. We deferred for this reason aswell as some other issues we were having. I can assure you I'm not lazy we have had support workers, dieticians, health visitors,speech and language and now armitstead and paeds involvement since they were 2 and a half and have managed to get them down to only wearing nappies at night but that took a hell of a long time. As it is we're now looking at possible ADHD and autism. Not saying that's the reason for every child but I know so many ppl would say oh its lazy parenting when it's actually the opposite. The American accent is also something we've worked on and they barely get on YouTube if they do its highly monitored.

Unfortunately I think this will become more and more common now due to increasing numbers of parents who are glued to their smartphones and therefore not interacting with their babies/toddlers anywhere near enough

I am very grateful that my DC were born before smartphones

I am honestly not sure what the solution is but small DC learn from being interacted with and chatted to constantly and if they are spending more time watching a screen than interacting with either parent then it isn't surprising that this is happening

Very sad 😓

DD was potty trained at about 3 when I was working FT (although she never was in nursery FT as DH worked nights and weekends, plus my parents helped out).

However, we had to relocate 150 miles when she was in Y1. At her new school she was too scared to use the toilet, although I never sent her in with nappies. I became a SAHM when we moved, so would walk up at every lunch time to take DD to the toilet (luckily it was a small village school) for a few weeks until she adapted to her new school. This was 20 years ago and very unusal.

What I am trying to articulate is that there can be extenuating cirumstances / SEN in a child's life, so its not necessairly down to 'lazy parenting'.

100% agree.

It should always be the parent (or guardian) who leads the potty training. Nursery can support, but the onus to initiate is not on them.

It's actually more common than you think, sadly.

Well I am being ripped apart here by people claiming it’s nursery that potty trains and not me at home!

And those with at home parents?? They also cannot climb stairs etc? Just those at nursery? Ok.

This is true. My son has an American twang, always has. He’s much older than a reception age child but he has ASD, ADHD and a learning delay and I wasn’t sure if his speech would ever come along at all. His paediatrician said it’s quite common for children on the spectrum to have Americanised accents and she wasn’t at all concerned by that. My son loves his screen time but also has other interests and he is loved and well cared for. I don’t see it as an automatic terrible thing. Children mimic what they see and hear all the time, we all did it too. I once knew a little girl of about 5 who called people slags and cunts all the time. Don’t think she learnt that from the Disney channel or unboxing videos on YT…

Well then it’s not about you is it? But posters on the one hand want to blame hours and hours of tv while simultaneously also blaming an increase in nursery use. The reality is the children in private day care nurseries are not watching tv all day.

No need for dramatics about babies being shipped off for 12 hours. You can be happy with your own choice without trying to rip apart others.

Recently talked about this on a Safeguarding course - it's called 'Affluent Neglect' apparently- very sad

Thank you. Just didn’t appreciate the previous post suggesting her children were ready because they went to nursery at 12 months. Irritated me! DD is going 4 mornings at 3!

I think it is bullshit to say busy working parents are the problem. In my experience the children of working parents are not the ones who can't climb stairs and aren't toilet trained and watch too much YouTube, partly because they are at nursery from a young age.

The children who arrive at school with unusual delays are generally the ones who have mostly been at home with problematic families, I would guess.

And the ones calling everyone "bro" and talking about "trash" will be anyone with an older brother 😕.

The Kindred surveys are perceptions, not research results.
It's important to recognise this.

I was a SAHM, DS started nursery at age 3 (3 mornings a week) and then pre-school at age 4 (4-5) mornings a week, followed by primary 1 at age 5.
I feel like we got a good balance - I toilet trained (when DS was ready, at 2 and a bit) and also taught him loads of things (through play and in other ways), took him places (including toddler groups and singing sessions etc), but nursery also gave him skills I couldn't. My mum didn't send my sister or I to nursery, or socialise us much (other than being with her and interacting with other adults), and I definitely took some time to settle at school, so I didn't want that for DS. Unfortunately though, even with very tight budgeting, some mums just cannot afford to be SAHM's, or indeed want to give up work completely, so there will always be a need for nursery too. Parents should still be teaching their children when they are with them though, mostly through play. The only screen he had as a young child was TV or my laptop, with supervision, he didn't get a tablet or a phone until after many of his peers.

(If SAHM/mum bothers you, please feel free to replace with SAHD/dad or SAHP/parent, or any other SAHG/guardian).

Well a PP seems to think being a SAHM and before that having an amazing nanny and not going to nursery at 12m is causing this issue so I’d say she’s not assuming it’s a class issue!

I think the report was actually asking about pupils being toilet trained and it included having occasional (not frequent) accidents as not toilet trained. So I am not sure it said that many were starting in nappies.

But that said, it's very sad that teachers are noticing a worry trend in child development

Developmental delay seems a likely cause here, especially the american accent. Its common for autistic children to pick up american words and accents because they arent reading the social cues so they dont put so much value on using the words/accents of key people around them.

I blame the trend towards WFH while looking after your kids - I know on Mumsnet everyone who does this has children who sit quietly next to them doing improving activities but IRL I think it almost always involves a lot of screen time

My kids get screen time too, probably too much, but I have always used childcare while I am working because I just don't think it is particularly healthy to scrimp on wraparound care in order to use screen time as a babysitter

I do recognise that some people have no choice but plenty do have a choice.

It is tragic if this is how children are starting school, but it is not a class based issue. It is a parenting choice issue.

There will definitely be a correlation between socio/economic status and readiness for Reception. It has always been thus.

Some of it will be for the reasons you list, undoubtedly, but I imagine some will also be due to developmental delays or medical conditions (diagnosed or otherwise).

Erm I’m a SAHM and not lazy at all? I’ll do the potty training rather than nursery. Don’t say all SAHM are like this and nursery is the holy grail. In my generation no one went to nursery and we turned out fine. Fed up of hearing how sending your child away 12h a day at 12m is the ideal.