Recent study of children joining reception class

Yes, this. I hate articles like this because they just focus on statistics which we know are often bullshit and don't take in to consideration specific factors. It would be interesting to see where this research was and how it was carried out.
I think these articles just serve as another stick with which to beat Mother's with, especially working mothers who are often accused of neglecting their children by working.

As usual, this has descended into a SAHM vs working parent battle. Ultimately, we are failing our children and that's what needs to be addressed.

Children are unable to focus, are not toilet trained, cannot communicate, have loose/no boundaries, are entitled, and are leaving school unable to read properly.

This isn't even a class issue, as you meet these children across all sections of society. Given the percentages as well, it's clear that these children are not all from poor households.

Last week there was a survey where apparently 44% of parents think it's the school's job to teach children to read. Well, if Little Angus is borderline illiterate, it becomes my priority to fix that with the school.

27% are below literacy rates. 25% are not potty trained, 30% cannot communicate their needs to a teacher. Bar health issues that require external intervention, what are we doing to address these very basic things?

It's very sad and there's obviously many factors at play.

I can't imagine lazy parenting is a new thing. I would imagine lazy parents of the past just left their kids to entertain themselves / play out in the street / left in the care of neighbours of family members.

While this probably brought about its own issues (kids being in dangerous situations, becoming involved in gangs, antisocial behaviour, crime), they probably got a lot more exercise and little exposure to tv / Americanisms etc.

I work full time and have young kids. They have both been at nursery 3 days per week, plus a day each wirh me / DP as we both work shifts. Nursery has been good for them, and we try our best to be good parents...but it is hard. Modern life is just hard. Working and raising kids is very difficult.

I feel lucky that we both have decent (if demanding) jobs, and the money to pay for nursery and holidays and days out etc.

I do have sympathy for a lot of those parents who feel trapped by poverty and unable to see a way out and have the means to provide a better life for their kids. I'm sure most of them don't set out to be bad parents / neglect their kids.

Also tons of kids now were born prematurely and would have died at one time but may grow up with additional needs. People are having kids older which comes with a high likelihood of additional needs.

We need nurseries and schools to have the time and resources to be attuned to individuals, not a one size fits all system which fails at least 20% of children.

Perhaps if layers of executives in academy trusts were not routinely earning more than the Prime Minister, hoovering up all the public money which could be spent on improving the education system, it would not be in such a parlous state.

It's clear from the posts on here that the lack of teaching children to be school ready can happen across any social "status". Anyone can be a decent parent and anyone can by a lazy or neglectful parent.

I used to be a governor of a primary school in an area of significant poverty and a high population of ethnic minorities.

There was a true mix there from the kids whose families had practically taught their children the entirety of the first year curriculum before they started, to those that brought their kids to school in nappies, not even knowing their own name, because "it's a school's job to teach these things".

There was the kid that brought an entire multipack of 6 bags of Skips for his lunch because his Mum didn't have time to do anything else and the kid that came with bento boxes with their sandwiches cut into dinosaur shapes.

Then there were the families who felt terrible asking for time off for their child to attend their grandparent's funeral but at the opposite end there were the parents who'd say to the teacher (in October) - DS won't be in after tomorrow - we're going back to [home country] until December so he'll be back in January.

I don't know what the answer is unfortunately. I know schools do issue an expectations list for incoming parents to set out what the children are expected to be able to do on their first day, but the parents that haven't taught the children this in the first place also likely know full well that they're not going to send them away again on the first day.

The child who couldn’t climb the stairs could have had additional needs, some kind of low muscle tone, or have experienced some form of neglect for example. It was one child, it tells you nothing.

I doubt it’s a thing anymore but when I started working we had a ‘Time and motion’ officer who would literally come to our workplace and monitor exactly what we were all doing minute by minute.

People don’t always know where time gets eaten up. Screens are the issue, when drinking morning tea and looking at forums and news articles time flies without noticing. So parents and children look at screens, it’s to the detriment of us all as a society. I am doing it right now instead of communicating with DH sat right next to me. Difference is I have done my growing up and it’s not moulding an immature brain.

I'm surprised to see full time working parents being blamed. Children learn a lot of skills at nursery (particularly from age 2.5 and up; I know views before that are mixed). Our kids nurseries were great for supporting them toilet train, learn to use cutlery, share, wait their turn, develop fine motor skills by using play dough and hama beads etc. They even led the charge on getting youngest to give up her dummy which I was so grateful for.

If course we would have taught them all those things at home but I think it would have taken longer and I would have shied away from the messy play stuff and given in more often when exasperated.

Unpopular view perhaps but I've noticed a more child-led approach to parenting in later years, allowed to "express themselves" by doing what they want - not sitting at the table if they don't want, not going for a walk if they don't want etc. A lot of kids will choose to stare at a screen if that's an option, mine included.

What a nasty comment. You sound really bitter for some reason. I don’t know anyone with a child in nursery for 12 hours. Where I live nurseries wouldn’t be open for 12 hours anyway.

I doubt it.

The wonderful nappies in much bigger sizes we can buy now don't help. I found this with my youngest DC who didn't have that feeling of feeling wet and uncomfortable.
Eldest DC was just at the tail end of cloth nappies plus wasn't allowed to start playgroup at three without being "clean and dry". He hated the damp soggy nappy dragging down so we were both keen on the toilet training.
Youngest DC was in in disposables and by that time the nurseries were happy to take children in nappies so there wasn't that urgency. I managed to find some really cheap and nasty nappies and didn't take long perhaps just the one or two packs.
I have friends who are reception teachers - some have none in nappies others have a few - they think it depends on the catchment area and the type of parents the children have

There will be massive variation here. In lots of schools there might only be 1-2 children with this level of need but by the law of averages some must have more than the 25% quoted.

I think there will be multiple causes:

1. increasing SEN but also increasingly inability to get any help or support. There are clearly kids starting mainstream education that can’t cope and shouldn’t be there. It seems like the whole system is based on allowing kids to fail before doing anything to help. We’ve got to y4 with kids who can’t cope in mainstream still not having ECHPs. This is not lazy parenting- it’s a failed system that is causing harm to kids, teachers and society.

2. An element of permissive parenting and I think I’ve seen lower standards of expectations for boys in particular. Whether it is nature or nurture- I think girls are often held to a higher standard of behaviour in the 4-6 year old age group.

3. screens as a babysitter. I do believe there are too many people trying to wfh with small children. I did it during Covid and it was shit. I think you are either semi neglecting your kids or doing a rubbish job at work. I still don’t think you can do both well. Of course I still do the odd day for sickness etc but I am under no illusions that to get any work done, my kids are watching a lot of tv. The odd day I can live with. I think if that is the norm, it is problematic especially for the under 5s.

I still cant understand how some of the 4 year olds couldnt climb a flight of stairs! Do they all have a ground flat,or live in Bungalows? I think it seems a shame because it has become a kind of "blame the parent" game ,when things like "Sure Start" have mainly gone by the wayside.Disposable nappies are also very easy to use .Terry nappies and all the washing would soon make people try to potty train!

The not being able to climb the stairs comment was apparently 1 comment - from 1 person out of 1000, (and I doubt they said every child in their class struggled with stairs!) So is it actually a common issue?

My grandson was 2 at the start of lockdown and his sister was born in August 2020, so right in the thick of it. Their parents were key workers WFH so life was a bit of a nightmare until DD started her mat leave. Both my grandchildren are very well adjusted, can climb stairs, were toilet trained by 2 1/2, speak in an English accent. They both love watching YouTube kids 😂

Yes I think our expectations around safety have changed so much. Those of us that don't wrap our children in cotton wool still feel outside judgment weighing down, even though we've done a pretty balanced risk assessment.

If the kids are in nursery for 12 hour days the when do they have time to potty train etc and shouldn't the nurseries be doing this in loco parentis?

I used to work 4 days a week when DDs were small and they were with the childminder for three days (and in pre-school part of the day for three days from aged 2.5) and with grandparents for one day, then there was a run of three days with me, and DH at the weekend. Even then it was quite challenging to potty train them and it pretty much had to be done in holidays and with the childminder, GPs and pre-school being supportive. Nowadays you often hear about pre-schools not changing nappies or pull-ups etc and being generally unsupportive, so I'm not surprised other parents have it worse, if I found it a challenge in a well educated middle class home.

It's such an ignorant assumption tbf.

Great post. I've just had a quick skim of the report and you're right.

https://kindredsquared.org.uk/school-readiness-survey/

Nah, she’s ages away from school. My 2.5 year old wears nappies and has gone back and forwards a bit with potty training (nursery are very supportive though - possibly time to complain/ change nursery if yours aren’t). I have no concerns that she will be wearing nappies past 3(except overnight). I think the fact that you are aware and engaged with the process means she will be fine. The issues are either genuine medical issues OR lazy parenting- so unless she has a medical need you’ll get there soon ish.

Great the way this thread has turned into a barrage of insults towards working parents and snide remarks about sending kids to nursery. It’s just really bad parenting full stop. People can be bad working parents and they can be bad stay at home parents.
Anecdotes of “well I’m a SAHM and I toilet trained at 2” are completely pointless

surely then it is also down to the care of the people they ARE with. SO Nursery schools that are not including exercise in their schematics - everything is choreographed including outside play time, outside play time at home is curtailed by need to watch them every single minute.

I think we need more adventurous playgrounds a la the German style ones, a focus on fitness for all a better focus on inclusive for all type sport ie not always football and rugby and all girls and all boys having to fall in with those sports, bring back country dancing ha ha - it was actually really good for fitness and co-ordination, might have to be ballroom these days but that is too

Stop carrying stuff for kids

the rough and tumble games that get banned in the play ground should be reconsidered as well, even tag is frowned on these days

I dont think its lazy parenting just overwhelmed parenting and trying to parent single handed be it as a single parent or sahm with no partner help, parents working two jobs to cover the cost of lliving (even if its a sidehustle as opposed to a go out of the house second job). We also have nurseries and childminders not involving themselves in things like potty training as they "dont like it" rather than acknowledging it as part of their job.

This

We really shouldn't be making sweeping statements about accents. They are recognised to be a factor in neurodiversity and language disorders. Many of the autistic children I know have different accents and it's absolutely nothing to do with screen time.

Rather ableist to jump to the conclusion of poor parenting.

has the study been linked?

Has it occurred to anyone that the results of these "studies" are obvious ragebait designed to generate more PR and business for the organiser? In this case, Kindred2 is a charity aimed at early child development so it's absolutely in their own best interests to prove how terrible young children are at the moment. If you look at their board of advisors and trustees, it's a mass of old white men who come from business, venture capital and investment backgrounds. Charities are technically non-profit, but obviously a very good way to funnel tax money and also generate salaries for staff & board members.

UK schools start incredibly young. In almost every European country, 4 is kindergarten (nursery) age. A significant number of children also need nappies at 4. However since they are still in kindergarten, it's not seen as a big issue by the staff nor parents and all the children grow out of it by the time they start school. There are no fear mongering studies or hand wringing or charities attempting to fix the issue because it's a non-issue. European schools do not expect kindergarten kids to be fully potty trained and all nurseries are equipped to help kids make the transition. 99% of them do and have no problems with moving onto school.