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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to only invite mum, not dad?

102 replies

HoneyPie12 · 02/02/2025 23:32

Hello!

Not sure if I am being super unreasonable- I've gone backwards and forwards in my mind all night. My son is 5 and wants to invite a friend from school for tea - so generally I would expect to pick them both up from school, feed them, they play together and the mum or Dad or whoever picks the friend up when they are ready.
I invited the little boy via WhatsApping his mum and she was super excited. She mentioned she would like to come too as the little one has anxiety - this is totally fine.

I would have hoped not to host the mum but I understand her little boy might be worried without her - I can do smalltalk for a bit!

Then she mentioned she would maybe need to swap with her husband at some point as she also looks after her elderly parent.

AIBU not to want her to swap halfway with the little boys dad? I don't want to sit for an hour with a guy I don't know, in my house while making small talk and the kids playing upstairs- I was already a little out of my comfort zone hosting the mum but I was willing to do it - the dad (who I don't know at all) just feels a bit too far. I wish I hadn't reached out now as I can't take it back and I don't know how to respond!

YANBU - If the child needs a parent there, you don't get to choose the parent

YABU - You invited the child, it's OK not to want to host his dad!

OP posts:
BarbaraHoward · 02/02/2025 23:34

I think your description of the poll is in the opposite order to your description of the situation.

Anyway, I think ywbu to say no to the dad. You'll just do the same kids and school small talk with him that you would with a mum.

bigboykitty · 02/02/2025 23:34

I wouldn't like it and I would say 'let's leave it for now and arrange something for another time'.