Friend being strange with me now she's researched my financial situation

It's not about intelligence . Most people just don't know the ins and outs of others' finances. I think it's pretty arrogant to assume that you can 'deduce' the details of someone else's financial situation.

Yes. Disgusting thing to do, and what a cheek to tell you she’d done it, let alone keep bringing it up. Tbh, she sounds bonkers. Not a ‘friend’ I would want to keep.

Firstly, stop justifying your wealth or lack of it /lifestyle/relationship status etc you don't have to do that to anyone. Secondly tell her she's out of order and incredibly rude. Regardless of her offering her own circumstances she is seriously overstepping and divulging her own stuff is just an excuse to know yours. CF

Wow, that's borderline stalking behaviour on her part!! Can't you ask her how she knows where the houses are? Maybe its a good excuse to tell her its not correct (just in case she decides to do more weird stuff) - and then block her on everything. She is creepy AF.

I would tell her she needs to get out more and that surely she knows it’s not normal behaviour to try and calculate people’s so called wealth, and that when your group all next meet we can discuss if it’s normal to sit and work out how much peoples house are worth as well as their clothes and other items they owe as she does.

I own several properties outright, no mortgages and I am very lucky and comfortable. I don't discuss any of this with anyone. Nobody apart from close family would have the information to look up anything about me.
You must have told this woman loads if she's able to look up your properties etc. In future keep it classy, keep it to yourself.

That said she is absolutely a nosey, jealous cow.

Yeah she's a notch and she's sounds like one of those people seems to think you owe her some of your money to 'even things out'.

However, not to split hairs but if you're pulling in 120kpa and you're on your own, then yes you are wealthy! I wouldn't ever use the term moneybags even if I was referring to a millionaire but with that being said, it's incorrect for you to say that you don't see yourself as anywhere near 'moneybags' as £120k per year is almost £100k more than the average person's income! That's a LOT of money.

Similar circumstances to you and the only phrase I can think of for someone who had enough time on their hands to deliberately poke around in my business would end in off!

Ditch her - if she believes that someone is only worth spending time based on their net worth then she isn't worth spending time with.

That's your pension pot what she has described, or your rainy day fund but either way, it's absolutely none of her business what you own.

I'd tell her that because she has spent the time doing the maths well you've done the same and you've worked out that she isn't a very nice person to be so materialistic and you don't want people like that in your life any more so you're no longer going to stay in touch with her.

That would be my take on the situation.

Right well OP has explained that she's not fabulously wealthy and so I think my suggestions stand. If the friend finds it irritating maybe the friend will stop making the unwanted comments in the first place

OP, is your partnership a limited company? Could she have searched your name on Companies House and found out some of the information there?

A lot of people seem to assume that landlords are probably outright owners of their properties. If you've never looked into BTL maybe that's an easy mistake to make.

But even if you owned 100% of the equity and were driving around in a Bentley, how much money you make or have is absolutely none of her business. If she doesn't want to be friends with a rich person for political reasons, that's her choice. But what can she possibly expect you to say when she comments on your insufficiently smooth jumper? Does she want you to agree that you should buy a new one?

That said, this kind of rude behaviour is very common in all kinds of relationships. In fact I think most of us are capable of blurting out something like this on occasion — we all know people who are at the far end of some spectrum or other. But taking it to the point of stalking (inaccurately) your net wealth is getting pathological. I'm going to bet that she has what she thinks is "dirt" on the rest of the group too.

There's a mum like this in my eldest's class parents - she finds out where someone lives then looks up their house price on Rightmove and then tells other people. It's such weird stalkerish behaviour. I would cut Sally out of your life and tell others in the friendship group why you've done it. I am sure they would side with you. No-one needs that level of bonkers behaviour in their life.

I'm just amazed at how rude and intrusive she's been but so open about it.
Shes banana crackers

Hide of a rhinoceros!
Look it's OK to be scraping a living but you aren't allowed to be better than anyone else (or for them to fear you are), thems the rules 😂

From my experience, if you do well financially not all of your friends will be pleased for you and some will be quite jealous. This is the posiiton with this woman. It may time to move on from her.

Your friend is a weirdo, OP. Who does this?!

As soon as someone messaged me to say they were finding out how much I was worth, I’d reply and say that’s a really weird thing to do, please don’t! Then next time she mentions money, I’d say what’s this massive big deal with money all the time? Money can’t buy everything! She’s sounds really odd!

It’s strange.

My BIL does something like this. If he meets someone, he does a financial investigation as in, looks up how much their house is worth, looks them up on Companies House if they are listed. Stuff like that.

He then shares the information he has found.

I ask him why he does this.

He just says he doesn’t know.

It’s strange.

"Sally, you're being weird. Stop it".

It was funny in a bizarre way. I was just baffled but I’m not money motivated (to a point I guess I am - I want to cover bills etc but I don’t wish to be a millionaire). I just wish I’d dropped her sooner.

I would end the friendship and block her from your social media platforms. She didn’t decide to ‘research’ you at the same time as herself, she deliberately invaded your privacy. I’d pull her aside and tell her that your financial position is your own business, and she’s completely out of order in ‘researching’ your net worth so she can hold it over you. OP I can’t imagine anyone who calls herself a friend behaving like this. I’d tell her how you feel and then walk away. If she’s got to the point where she’s making regular snide remarks based on what she thinks she knows, then I think she could be quite dangerous.

I'd publicly shame her as much as possible. Next time she makes a comment say "Oh yes, I'd forgotten you looked up the value of my property so you could work out my net worth..." She needs to realise how completely weird this is!

I've had some really big jobs and large houses. We lost a lot in the crash. I made the mistake of telling a school gate mum. I'm still being routinely asked about my finances to this day. I had sixteen years of 'poor you' bollocks. It's very rude and I now say ask my accountant. I always get asked what my salary is when I get a new job and it's so they can work out if I'll have more than them. None of my friends have big jobs (some are retired) but most are wealthy. Everything has a price.
I would call yourself Rothchild next time this woman says anything. As for valuing your clothes that just weird. Are you suppose to walk the dog in Dolce and Gabbana?