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AIBU?

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Original poster

Grandparent has put themselves down as primary carer on our holiday booking?

135 replies

KSM123 · 02/02/2025 21:01

We have a holiday planned with my in laws with our baby who will be 4 months old at time of travel. My FIL has booked the flights and has today told us that he put himself down as my baby’s primary carer. This instantly made me feel a certain kind of way - maybe hurt and a bit angry - but I wasn’t sure at the time if I was being unreasonable so kept quiet…my understanding is that, with this, baby will need to sit with him on a different row from us for the flight when seatbelts light is on. He will also get her extra 10kg luggage allowance. Technically he will also be responsible for any decisions made for her during the airport and flight should something happen?
I am really not sure why he has put himself down instead of myself or my husband. Am I overthinking it? Maybe it’s not a big deal? I just want to be with my baby through the flight and wish it wasn’t so casually assumed that would be ok with us.
My husband doesn’t seem to care and thinks we will be able to just switch seats so we can be on the row with her but I’m not sure it’s that simple if the flight booking has been made that way.
AIBU?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 02/02/2025 21:09

MidnightPatrol · 02/02/2025 21:04

Just because they’ve booked the flight with the infant as a +1 under one persons name, doesn’t mean the baby has to sit with them.

I’m entirely confident I’ve never read anything about one person being responsible for my child when flying with them either.

Where are you getting this information from?

TBH when flying with an infant the only info they have is the total number of infants on the plane, so they have enough seat belts.

This. There's a lead passenger but I've never heard of a primary carer.

DaveWatts · 02/02/2025 21:08

I do think that some seats on the plane are unsuitable for a baby on your knee although if you can all swap seats between yourselves I suppose it wouldn't matter. I would insist on this being changed though, what a weird thing for him to do.

wizzywig · 02/02/2025 21:07

I'd enjoy the break . But that's just me

RicStar · 02/02/2025 21:06

I don't think this will matter OP, you (or your DH) will be able to sit with your baby! Please don't worry about it - this <dedicated adult where there are more than one being responsible for a baby on a flight> is just not a thing in reality.

TwentyTwentyFive · 02/02/2025 21:06

Why would he have to sit with your child, who would be on your knee not a seat?

Did he actually understand what it meant and do you think he did it for a reaction or did he think it was just like being the lead passenger?

123ZYX · 02/02/2025 21:05

I'd start by asking why, so you understand what he reason is - should help to avoid arguments,

Then saying it will need baby to be with you on the plane and so will need to be listed as primary cater - offer to pay if there's a cost.

No need for it to be an argument, but make sure you're firm about there being no other options.

Do you breastfeed, if so this is a key argument, because feeding can help with the effect of air pressure on the baby's ears

MidnightPatrol · 02/02/2025 21:04

Just because they’ve booked the flight with the infant as a +1 under one persons name, doesn’t mean the baby has to sit with them.

I’m entirely confident I’ve never read anything about one person being responsible for my child when flying with them either.

Where are you getting this information from?

TBH when flying with an infant the only info they have is the total number of infants on the plane, so they have enough seat belts.

JustWalkingTheDogs · 02/02/2025 21:04

A 4 month old baby won't get a seat, so he will have to sit on an adults knee, I don't see why it wouldn't be yours.

It's a very odd thing for your FIL to do.

Bristolinfeb · 02/02/2025 21:03

Did you ask why he did it?

No way would the baby be sitting anywhere but with me.

I would be giving him all the nappies to pack in his suitcase.

DaftyLass · 02/02/2025 21:03

Hard no
Why on earth did you not speak up at the time?
I'd get that changed pronto
Does he have form for riding roughshod?