Grandparent has put themselves down as primary carer on our holiday booking?

Pretty dramatic to think it does!

@KSM123 congratulations on baby and exciting about holiday!

We’ve just come back for holiday with our 7 month old - we were TUI and to be honest I had nothing to do with bookings so can’t confirm if lead passenger was a thing. PP seem to confirm that this is a JET2 thing. Our flight was unfortunately delayed for 5 hrs (whilst we were on the plane because of snow) and there was lots of passing baby between DH and I who were on opposite sides of the isle. There will be one person who gets given the extra baby seatbelt to attach to them - in my experience they just looked to see who had the baby at the time - I’m pretty sure cabin crew don’t have a list of “primary carer seats” and even if they did I’m pretty sure this is flexible as the seats themselves don’t change it’s just the person who has the baby seatbelt. I hope that’s reassuring.

I would get you and DH to say firmly that you will be having baby on your lap for both flights regardless of who is primary carer before you get to the airport to avoid stress there. Relationships with in-laws can be tricky once there’s a new baby as you’re having to navigate a new type of relationship. Like you said often there’s no mal-intent but boundaries do need to be put in place so that’s something that you and DH will need to work together on if they are oversteppers. Enjoy your hols x

Clearly you are unfamiliar with the issue of international child abduction, and the huge risks if a child is abducted to a non Hague convention country. There are certain cultures and ethnic groups where the father and his family hold more rights. Pretty ignorant of you to assume this might not be applicable to the OP.

No airline is going to demand an infant can only sit on lap of primary carer. I mean I’d let him crack on and i’d watch some films and eat in peace!

What on earth is this all about? What a massive leap!

I’m not sure about jet2, but with Ryanair lap infants have to be in a window seat. Could FIL have chosen to be primary carer so he can have the window seat?

What? It's true. If the plane has any issues I'd want to be with my baby

they usually come down and check off the manifest which seats need the extra seatbelt. So I’m not saying it would be enforced but it would be on the paper work and they would automatically go to that seat. Clearly OP is worried about it so my advice is whether it would be enforced or not; to ring the airline and get it sorted in advance so she doesn’t worry in the lead up

What country are you travelling to and what religious/ethnic group are you/ they? Are you sure there’s no abduction risk ?

I have never been on a flight where the cabin crew do a check to see that every passenger is sitting in their allocated seat - it would be carnage!
I have seen a passenger moved because she was in an exit row with a child and the other parent was sitting elsewhere. That meant some juggling round as the child couldnt just swap. But checking tickets? No.
OP, you will be absolutely fine. You can sit in the seat allocated for the baby. Also, your baby luggage allowance means it has its own bag.

for all those who are saying people mustn’t fly much, I fly with my kids 4 times a year and the OP is correct but it’s a jet2 thing. OP just ring the airline.

Because you can't leave them at home when you go on holiday with the rest of your family?

I'd call his bluff and say thanks so much for offering to look after her for the flight. You will bring an eye mask and headphones, and are looking forward to having a couple of G&Ts before catching up on sleep.

What an odd question. Why not? It’s a great time to take a baby abroad. They aren’t on the move, nor do they need solid food. I’ve taken all 4 of mine away at around that age.

You think google is reliable for this sort of information?!

Its AI

Enjoy your holiday a and your childfree flight. FiL will soon regret doing that when he's left with "his" baby. 😆

As soon. As he said he'd done that. I would of immediately said how kind you want to be free nanny for our child while we go off and explore and sunbathe and have nice dinners.

There’s no wrong end of the stick here at all I’ve just booked 2 jet2 flights and it asked who will be the primary carer and then when it comes to allocating seats it only lets me choose certain ones because I’ll have the baby on my knee as I’m down as primary carer. Some airlines can be funny about sitting in allocated seating particularly for take off landing and when seat belt sign is on. So the OP is right. OP is ring the airline and get it changed.

No way!

Just don't go.

That is the weirdest thing ever. Wtf does that?

I don't want to throw shade but sitting separately from me with my baby? Not a chance.

As airline staff of over 25 years I've never heard of this. Just sit with your baby, as long as you are in an appropriate seat e.g, not exit row. Check in won't care which bag belongs to who if you're all checking in together. It's fine to switch seats about within your party too if needed.

There is no baby and carer seat on planes. They’re just seats. You sit in whatever seat has been assigned to your ticket (or swap seat numbers with a member of your group if you want a specific spot that they have) then sit down with the baby on your knee. Air steward will give you belt strap for baby. They will not ask who is “primary carer”. It’s not a thing. Not on these airlines anyway. Trust me. It won’t happen.
Just tell your FIL you’ll be holding baby for take off and pass baby over later if you want to.

I asked a question of the OP. I didn't expect a rude and sarcastic comment from a random PP, silly me.
Bonne journée, @Auldlang , may people only smile upon you.

Stupid post. We don't all stop our lives because we have a kid. You can have a great time with a 4mo "abroad." It may also shock you to hear that some of us have family/ roots elsewhere than the UK.

They will let your baby sit with you no probs. But your FIL is a bit weird or doesn't understand what primary carer means.

I’ve just booked various flights with three different airlines and, as far as I can recall, all assigned the infant to my (the lead passenger) lap without asking. I’ve also booked flights with Jet2 a couple of months ago and I think the baby was automatically assigned to the lead passenger then too.

Regardless, you can hold the baby instead and change who holds the baby throughout the flight. The only restrictions are if you’re in an emergency exit row or if there’s another infant next to you as there are only 4 oxygen masks per 3 seats. If that’s the case, just swap seats with PILs or the flight attendant will help you find other seats.

Also, the 10kg baggage allowance is a separate suitcase for the baby, not added to your FIL’s suitcase. So maybe clarify that with him or he might end up with an oversized bag at the check in desk and charged accordingly.

i hope this puts your mind at ease, you should definitely be able to hold your child.