Grandparent has put themselves down as primary carer on our holiday booking?

I've not read quite all of the comments but it sounds like you will be ok in terms of not having your (still tiny) baby kept away from you on the plane, but what sort of over-entitled asshole does this?! Expecting to keep a 4 month old baby away from its mummy on what i presume is baby's 1st flight?!

I know your baby is still only very little but does PIL or MIL have form already for being overbearing? Taking baby out of your arms when baby cries because baby needs a 'grandparent cuddle'? You're still learning the ropes, be prepared to be firm and stand your ground. Set boundaries and don't let your PIL ride roughshod over you. They might have paid for a holiday for you but that doesn't entitle them to your baby.

The airline won’t care whose lap the baby is sitting on. Op can swap seats with her fil and sit there with the baby.

I don't think the airline will be happy with this scenario when they realise you're on the flight too. It will be obvious you're the Mum at every stage of the process. I suspect he thinks it comes with an extra baggage allowance and leg room totally forgetting that baby's poop and need feeding on flights. I think you might suddenly mention breastfeeding even if you don't!

Eh? In dozens of flights to nearly every continent with infants, I’ve never come across this. He’s probably just put himself down as lead passenger which has nothing to do with being actually responsible for the baby.

It depends on the airline

And ultimately, what does it really matter.
Just sit with your baby if that's what you want to do.

Jesus

God, same!

I think you’ll be fine. When we’ve flown with the baby, no one has checked that the baby is sat on the assigned persons lap - they’ll just give you the baby seatbelt. This happened when we went away with my in laws and it was completely fine, at check in the baby will probably get checked in with the lead booker.

Ask him to show you seats he's booked - and then change them.

Yes they do, they’ve always been allowed 10kg checked luggage with tui and jet2 have recently added it to.

OP I’ve travelled with an infant multiple times and it has never been asked who the baby should be sat on, me and my husband swap the kids round multiple times and over different seats.

Yes it is Airline dependent, it's not standard across the board....the Airline I worked for did not have baggage allowance for babies on laps.

Calm down!

Maybe it’s airline dependent then as it automatically assigned him to the lead booker. I booked the holiday, on my MILs behalf as she’s a bit of a technophobe, I booked with her as lead booker, my child was automatically assigned to my MIL as lead booker as I previously said. I could’ve changed the booking so I was the lead booker so he was assigned to me but as she was paying I chose to leave her as lead and didn’t really see it as an issue, they just printed him a separate boarding pass at the airport so he went through security etc with me. He couldn’t go through with MIL anyway as my FIL is disabled so they had to board separately before everyone else and she wouldn’t be able to manage both even if I did allow her to.

Babies can go in most seats on a plane except the emergency exit rows or if there is another infant on the same row of 3. We pre-booked seats that weren’t an exit rows and as we had a 2.5year old also we knew no other infant would be on our row of 3 as we were filling all the seats. MIL/FIL were in front of us also in a non-emergency exit row. Also flew without the In-laws the following year and with the same airline and you do have to pay to select a infant seat with that airline so you are incorrect that there is ‘normally’ no fee.

If you’re not sure how ALL airlines work then please
don’t cause the OP unnecessary anxiety by telling her that posters are lying about their experiences.

Just pointing out that your statement that babies don’t get a luggage allowance is not correct. Often they do.

Some give an increased hold allowance to the adult that baby is sitting on. Some give the baby their own hand luggage allocation. It’s not a no across the board.

You didn’t, but I did on every occasion with different operators.

It’s relevant because OP is entitled to any extra allowance, which is currently allocated to FIL because he’s put himself down as being the person responsible for the lap baby.

It's Airline dependant, mine was zero....

The adult they are sitting on gets an extra 10kg (sometimes more! When we travelled Lufthansa the baby got 23kg) for the baby, as long as they have booked hold luggage. This is as well as pram/car seat/travel cot.

So yes, they do.

You don't list a 'primary carer' - I've never seen it worded like that. You just put it under an adults name (presumably as they don't have a seat).

We've moved seats as a family, encouraged by the cabin crew, and no paperwork has had to change or whatnot. It also doesn't matter whose name the baby's name is under when you go through passport control. We've travelled loads with our multiple kids (living abroad) and we'd never even know who's name the baby was under.

(Oh, and random tip that's seen me through: feed the baby just as the wheels leave the tarmac, and not a moment before (or else they could get full/fed up by the time you're in the air). It'll hopefully help with equalising the pressure.)

Babies on laps have zero baggage allowance anyway....

Yes, was thinking the same thing. Something my own father would do.

I would say something OP. I’m concerned that you’ve said your PiL can be controlling and this is evidence of it. Clarify that he has actually listed himself as primary carer and then ask why he did that, when in fact, you, as the baby’s mum, are the primary carer, especially if you’re breast feeding. Have a look at the primary carer definition as used by the airlines - posted a bit upthread - and you’ll see that it’s clear that this is parental responsibility and includes decisions made for the child while you’re in the care of the airline. And if he gets the extra luggage allowance, then he gets all the baby’s stuff to carry !! Seriously I wouldn’t have it - he’s massively overstepped and he needs to know it.

are you sure this wasnt done accidentally ? when we booked to go with my son partner and grandson I booked the whole package and when the paper work came through i was the same granddaughter on my knee extra luggage ..I certainly didn't do it on purpose and between us we just organised seats cases etc between ourselves once arrived