To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

My dd diagnosed with a heart condition at 20w
Multiple ops, open heart surgeries hospital stays. There was once a time when I didn't know how to be a mum without hospital staff around me... we made it through though in the end

Mum dying of sepsis and asking the hospital to culture her bloods in A&E and start her on antibiotics asap, because she knew she had sepsis, and the hospital saying 'you can't tell us what to do, and specifically, you can't choose treatment, you are fine, your CRP is less than 10'. Them sending her home only to be back in hospital the following day and dying of sepsis. Complaint to the Trust and Ombudsman finding nothing wrong with the care she received. This feeling of total helplessness, and her words 'help me, tell them I am dying' and them not listening.

I’m so sorry to hear this - me too (parental suicide). I was a little older than you were. It never leaves you. It shapes you as a person and I think of them every day.

This thread 😔 I hope everyone finds strength to cope with their sad times and I wish everyone happy times ahead. I read somewhere 'if you were in a large group and everyone threw their problems into a pile you'd see others and be scrambling trying to get your own back'. I think this seems so true. Take care of yourselves. Thinking of everyone ❤️

That's absolutely awful, what alot for you to go through all at once :(

@MyProudHare I can totally empathasise. I'm so sorry

My uttey amazing husband got diagnosed with brain cancer when kids were v young...both under 5

4 years of an utter living hell. It really almost killed me....just wanted to kill myself. We were living on other side of world. After he passed awauly moved back with my kids to my family in the UK

I've never been the same and miss him still every day. It's almost 25 years ago now since he was first diagnosed

1. when my dad was dying of cancer
2. when dd was going through DV /almost looking her child
3. my own son being violent to Me ( in a much better place now )
4. son trying to kill himself
5. SA as a child
6. 2 evictions although I would say that didn't ovely bother me it was stressful but at the lower end for me.
7. when I got a call from dd screaming down the phone that she was getting hurt by her ex and I heard the most horrible screams and her begging him to stop and the phone went dead . I thought he had killed her .

Sexual abuse as a child and PTSD from that

Oh and derealization. It is so awful , it makes you wish you were dead.

My dad wasnt in my life. I went to see my dad once as an adult, and he told me that he never wanted to see me again.

That's the worst thing I went through
That's deep rejection.

And it's stayed with me my whole life. I think "I'm not worth anything because my own dad didn't want me"

I'm so sorry.

Such heart-breaking stories. So sorry to read these.

Depression followed by a complete breakdown a year ago. I made plans to end my life, wrote my will and letters saying goodbye to people. Thankfully I ended up getting support from my GP and the crisis team. But for about a month I could not concentrate for more than a couple of minutes or sleep and I barely ate anything.

At one time I would’ve said sitting with DM in intensive care before she died but now I think supporting DD2 with her depression/anxiety is actually more difficult because nobody has the answer and I’m worried sick all the time. It’s one of those things that changes you, even when (“when” because I can’t bear the thought that I should be saying “if”) she gets better I won’t go back to being the same as before.

💐 to everyone who has been through difficult times.

Even caring for someone though a slow painful death and going to rehab, quitting drugs and drinking...

Getting a rescue dog. It has been so, so, so hard.

The death of my daughter from brain cancer. She was 5 years old and my absolute world. Nothing has been right since.

Caring for my beautiful Nan when the breast cancer spread to her spine&brain, within weeks she didn't know who anyone was, didn't know where she was and was violent. At the start she kept saying to me "my head is going, why can't I remember things" within a week I would have to show her the photos on the wall to remind her who her family were, I was the last one she forgot. I was lucky to be with her and holding her hand as she drew her last breath with our family around us. But the way she suffered was cruel and inhumane, months of agony and pain for her, I will never get over that, but I am honoured to have been able to care for her the way she did for me my entire life.

Sounds trite now but my ex calling off our wedding two weeks before the big day. Thought I would never get over it.

Can I ask how your son is now?

Being in a relationship with a man who made me feel at rock bottom but I’ve came out of it strong. I stand for nothing now.

My mum had a brain haemorrhage when I was 11. I didn't know if she was going to survive and she was in hospital for a long time but thankfully she made a full recovery. It was an incredibly traumatic time and my parents were in the process of getting divorced. One day she was fine, the next day she was in hospital fighting for her life. 30 years later and it's still something I can't talk about. She was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago and survived that but I often think how unfair life is sometimes.

I struggled with an eating disorder and depression as a teenager and attempted suicide.

Lost a pregnancy in my second trimester - that one I really struggled with.

DH had a mental breakdown and was hospitalised for 7 weeks. We were living overseas and I had a 12 month old. I didn't know if he was going to survive. He lost his mind for 3 months and it was terrifying. He could only say the same thing over and over again, like a cassette tape on a loop.

I can't think of anything worse than losing a child and my heart goes out to anyone that has experienced that because I cannot fathom how awful that must be. Sending love to all those who have suffered.

Three years ago tonight.

My toddler being unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumour that morning, blue lighting to a specialist hospital for lifesaving huge (and risky) surgery being planned for the next morning.

Knowing that if she made it through the surgery there was a 50-50 chance that it was a type which was basically terminal on diagnosis.

Spending that night on the ward hugging her, trying not to cry, wondering if it was my last night with her and praying that if it was the terminal variety that she'd die in the surgery so she'd never have to face the fear or pain of a battle she couldn't win. Then in the morning, repeatedly telling her I lived her and trying to get her to say it back on film so I'd have it in case she died or lost the ability to speak (common side effects of that particular surgery)

The surgery was (mostly) a success. She asked for a drink when she woke, and for mummy.
It was the 'good' type of the tumour not the bad one, she didn't even need chemo.

It came with some life changing effects and the likelihood of more surgery to come in the next few years, but the future looks bright, albeit with more hospital appointments than we'd anticipated.

That night and the ones that followed the were darker then I'd ever thought possible though.

Divorce

recurrent miscarriages

my 2nd husband being diagnosed with a rare appendix cancer ( luckily he is okay now )

my dad dying of heart attack when I was 20

going through a termination .

Having a severe nervous breakdown aged 19 was terrifying. Being diagnosed with cancer when the children were toddlers was just awful. These were my two worst periods in life.

My 13 year old son died 9 months ago after a short illness with cancer Seeing my strong, independent boy deteriorate in his last weeks is the hardest thing I have ever been through. He slipped away peacefully with me and his dad either side of him on a hospital bed in my living room. He is so loved and missed.