Page 18 | To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

Youngishh · 2025-02-02T20:49:07+00:00

Currently going through a divorce and it’s got me thinking about things that people go through in life. Although I am struggling with it, the hardest things I have ever been through was an abortion. I have still never got over it tbh.

Pinkypup · 02/02/2025 21:51

2 things
becoming disabled through a freak virus as a child
my father dying

Simplestars · 02/02/2025 21:51

Been told that my son at 6 weeks old is totally blind.

thesecondmrsdewinter20 · 02/02/2025 21:51

These are just heart breaking. I’m so sorry for you all.

For me, having a stroke in my 20s. On top of the brain damage, it took a long time to let go of the fear of it happening again, and killing me this time. It’s restricted the choices I can make and life will never be the same.

Tinybirdie · 02/02/2025 21:49

My partner taking his life in the most horrific of ways

LochKatrine · 02/02/2025 21:49

problembottom · 02/02/2025 20:51

My cyclist brother was killed by a drugged up driver. I don't think I'll ever get over the shock.

That's just horrific 💐

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/02/2025 21:49

Going through therapy for childhood abuse - had the most wonderful therapist but my god the recovery was worse than the actual abuse, because I had to look as an adult at what had been done to me in the full understanding of how many people let me down. I’m fully recovered and very healthy now, but my goodness the healing was agonising.

Poppymeldrum · 02/02/2025 21:49

When I was a kid,my narcissistic mother dumped me off onto my darling grandad-he was the first man I've ever loved and we have a bond that even death cannot break

She made sure she claimed the child benefit and made sure I was around at hers for the bare minimum time possible just so she could say she was the best mother in the world to anyone who knew her but without having to do the grunt work of parenting me

It solved two problems-i wasn't there to annoy her by being around and having me be his carer meant she didn't have to do anything for him-and she didn't lift a finger-i did it all

One say,when I was about 14,he fell asleep and woke up not having a clue who I was,who he was and where he was

Long story short,he had dementia and ended up in a home

Losing him 18 months later was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with-made worse by my mother soaking up at the sympathy and praise about how much she'd done for him

Years later,I met a lady who ran the local single parent group

She was amazing-kind,strong,never judged and was always there,she loved my dc like her own-she was the mum I wished I had

She died of bastard cancer-i miss her so much

I met dp and then his parents-my darling fil understood me in a way dp and his amazing mum never will

He wasn't an angel but he was a good man-we adored each other

Again bastard cancer took him away from us and it's left a gaping hole in my life

I find it so hard that I'll never hear their voices again and I'd give up everything to have one last chat or a hug from all 3 of them

SockFluffInTheBath · 02/02/2025 21:48

An accident that very nearly killed my DD and left my DH with a life changing injury.

Sending unmumsnetty hugs to everyone who has been hit with what life has thrown at them.

Queenofheart · 02/02/2025 21:47

Rainbowgrey · 02/02/2025 20:55

Finding my little boy dead in his cot, he was 12 months old.

So very sorry for you ❤️

fandjango · 02/02/2025 21:47

Parents splitting up in childhood

My mum being murdered

estrangement from family

family not knowing my child

other than that all good

WellsAndThistles · 02/02/2025 21:47

The fight we had trying to get a dementia diagnosis and care package for MIl during Covid.

Got the diagnosis eventually but no carer ever walked over her doorstep. All family work full time and constantly having to leave work to travel to her after blocking the toilet, setting the house on fire, giving herself food poisoning and finally falling and breaking her hip never to return home again nearly caused DH and I a total breakdown. The night after she broke her hip was the first time we had a proper uninterrupted night's sleep in 9 months.

suburberphobe · 02/02/2025 21:47

These are just heart-wrenching to read.

Sending hugs to you all.

Fourtvpackagesandnothingon · 02/02/2025 21:46

Not sure…

10 years of infertility and treatments
Miscarriages and emergency ectopic, 5 minutes from death
Being knocked down by a car…twice
Being bullied at work and made redundant
Five year court case

Probably the worst..Dd, 5, ill and was having anger issues and horrendous intrusive thoughts, saying she felt like her body didn’t belong in this world and people were planning to kill her..the things she said and the fear on her face will never leave my mind

Curlyshabtree · 02/02/2025 21:46

Losing my first born child aged just 6 days. They would be 18 next month. The pain diminishes but never goes.

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 21:45

Somuchgoo · 02/02/2025 21:34

Three years ago tonight.

My toddler being unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumour that morning, blue lighting to a specialist hospital for lifesaving huge (and risky) surgery being planned for the next morning.

Knowing that if she made it through the surgery there was a 50-50 chance that it was a type which was basically terminal on diagnosis.

Spending that night on the ward hugging her, trying not to cry, wondering if it was my last night with her and praying that if it was the terminal variety that she'd die in the surgery so she'd never have to face the fear or pain of a battle she couldn't win. Then in the morning, repeatedly telling her I lived her and trying to get her to say it back on film so I'd have it in case she died or lost the ability to speak (common side effects of that particular surgery)

The surgery was (mostly) a success. She asked for a drink when she woke, and for mummy.
It was the 'good' type of the tumour not the bad one, she didn't even need chemo.

It came with some life changing effects and the likelihood of more surgery to come in the next few years, but the future looks bright, albeit with more hospital appointments than we'd anticipated.

That night and the ones that followed the were darker then I'd ever thought possible though.

Goodness, what a horrific thing to go through! So so glad she is doing well now x

Nonaynevernomore · 02/02/2025 21:45

Conniebygaslight · 02/02/2025 21:42

our DD in a terribly abusive relationship in a completely different culture and world to ours. She’s only 18 and is so entrenched, constantly trying to change and rescue people. We have lost her and it’s breaking our hearts.

You haven’t lost her, she’ll come back. She’s young and needs to grow and understand.

keep strong, keep in touch and let your door always be open.

Carsarelife · 02/02/2025 21:45

My brother - suffering a very horrific and serious accident at work. Spent months in a coma. Only to survive then die of a heart attack in his sleep years later. Basically grieved him twice.
The stress of it has caused myself and our parents to fall out. We haven't spoken in 7 months. They are in their 70's. I've tried to reach out to them to no avail

Horationor · 02/02/2025 21:45

The first time my (now ex) husband punched me. I didn't understand how he could do it

Or

Finding out i could never conceive

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 02/02/2025 21:44

Giving birth to my already dead baby at 23 weeks

carelesswhiskerss · 02/02/2025 21:44

Hwi · 02/02/2025 21:41

Mum dying of sepsis and asking the hospital to culture her bloods in A&E and start her on antibiotics asap, because she knew she had sepsis, and the hospital saying 'you can't tell us what to do, and specifically, you can't choose treatment, you are fine, your CRP is less than 10'. Them sending her home only to be back in hospital the following day and dying of sepsis. Complaint to the Trust and Ombudsman finding nothing wrong with the care she received. This feeling of total helplessness, and her words 'help me, tell them I am dying' and them not listening.

So sorry.

carelesswhiskerss · 02/02/2025 21:43

What I'm going through now, losing ability to walk.

Louko · 02/02/2025 21:43

Downtoyou · 02/02/2025 21:32

My 13 year old son died 9 months ago after a short illness with cancer Seeing my strong, independent boy deteriorate in his last weeks is the hardest thing I have ever been through. He slipped away peacefully with me and his dad either side of him on a hospital bed in my living room. He is so loved and missed.

I am so sorry xx

Onthefence87 · 02/02/2025 21:42

EmeraldDreams73 · 02/02/2025 21:30

I am so sorry to all of you who have suffered such terrible losses. 💐

Mine is severe PND after dd1's birth. Later diagnosed with PTSD as well. Consider myself very lucky to still be alive but it pales into insignificance against so many of these traumas.

Your struggle was still your own valid and understandable challenge and trauma though....sending love x

Conniebygaslight · 02/02/2025 21:42

our DD in a terribly abusive relationship in a completely different culture and world to ours. She’s only 18 and is so entrenched, constantly trying to change and rescue people. We have lost her and it’s breaking our hearts.

rosieposie5 · 02/02/2025 21:42

Being 35 years old so very single and desperately wanting to be a Mum before time runs out after wanting it all my life. Watching people talk about TTC and how hard it can be when I can't even try for a baby as I'm so single. I feel like there is a lot of support out there for women who are TTC or have experienced miscarriage. But those women who have for some reason failed to secure a relationship and so can't have a baby for that reason is so lonely, but never 'heard about' or listened to. We are always just told to use a donor but it isn't right for everyone.