To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

It is. I'm so sorry that all happened to you and sorry for the loss of your sister. You were so young to have to deal with all of that ❤️

I found out my mum had a terminal illness and had weeks to live and then was made redundant the next day. She died within a few weeks and then my job disappeared. Such a difficult time.

Please please forgive yourself, have you had therapy?

Oooh this has made me think of- maybe I am lucky but I have never had truly gut wrenching life experiences. I recall being bullied at work and my uncle dying as being up there but that was it.

Also the usual bad relationships but I was fully independent so could exit them as they became too toxic.

Constructive dismissal

My Dsis died in February last year from cancer aged 48, and then my DH died in June,aged 51, from cancer. 2024 was the worst year of my life 😩

I just had to respond to this one as my daughter is in the throes of anorexia and this message has given me hope. Thank you, and I am so glad she’s doing so well now.

To everyone- sending all who have been through so much trauma much love and strength.

My father abandoning us when I was little. My big brother estranging himself from the family when I was 12 and he was 18. Haven't seen him for over 40 years. Have never been able to trust men.

And I'm so so sorry about the loss of your daughter ❤️

In the early 1970's when I was 15 I stupidly got pregnant. A first time and I ended up in a right mess.
My parents were very Victorian.. wouldn't let me go to the disco at school .talk to boys etc
I left it too late to tell them and I had the baby and they made me have him adopted.
It was the way they treated me.,I will never forget it I knew I'd made a big mistake but was made to feel so ashamed.
I wasn't allowed to go out in case the neighbours saw me. I could only go for a walk when it got dark.
It was a dark bleak time.
I was ashamed and I still am

The knowledge of how quickly life can change irreparably is one of the worst things I found in the aftermath of my husbands suicide.

I am far too overprotective of my children and like you as soon as they are out of my sight I believe the worst will happen and I'll never see them again.

It is a living hell ❤️

Hmm. I used to think that it was when I was 14yrs old and had to call an ambulance for my dad on NYE - he was an alcoholic and had flown into a rage after a phone call with his brother. He had locked himself into a bedroom and was just wailing - I still remember the awful sound of it. He was so drunk that he ended up in alcohol-induced psychosis before spending NYE in a psychiatric ward. They whisked my mum and my dad away in the ambulance, but I had to spend the night looking after my little 9yr old brother. Dad never apologised or thanked me.

Then later, as an adult, being the victim of years long domestic abuse and sexual coercion, resulting in my partner from said former relationship being arrested. The feeling of sitting alone, shaking, in the silent house in the aftermath of the incident was harrowing. Clearing all my stuff when I moved out and seeing how cold and empty the house looked was bad, too.

That said, putting my darling 12yr old cat (first pet as an adult) to sleep after a cancer battle was quite far up the list of horrible things to experience. It's almost worse when a creature so innocent is involved.

Gosh, so many people have been through so much :'( wishing everyone strength and solidarity.

How awful! So sad your parents couldn't stay strong for you to protect you from further trauma....

My mum died when I was 3 weeks post partum with my first who had earth shattering colic. I wanted to die with her.

My mother, father and friend all dying within two months. All unexpectedly.

Some of these replies are too upsetting to read. I haven’t experienced anything so bad as some of the above.

Watching my gentle, kind grandmother die of a brain haemorrhage when I was 19. That was horrible. Visiting my grandfather in the hospice when I was 21 and him begging me to visit him again. My dad being diagnosed with lung cancer and then watching him die (thankfully of a sudden heart attack before the cancer had a chance to slowly torture him to death).

The worst I have ever felt, however, has been the bouts of agitated depression. The last was in the spring of 2016. I hope with all my heart and soul I never feel so bad again. The pain was unbelievable.

But he is now 19 and amazing young man. Confident, caring thoughtful kind and bright.
He is done extremely well despite his challenges.
But at the time I was totally devastated and didn't know how my son would cope without sight. Miss out on the beautiful world. Not to be able to see me.

That must’ve been incredibly hard, im
sorry x

Growing up with two alcoholic, physically abusive parents. I never felt safe. I finally escaped at 19 and my entire adult life has been a muddle of counselling, grief for my non existent childhood and anger. I hate that it’s had such an effect on me and I wish I could just operate like a normal human being, but the trauma is so deep that it is triggered by so many things. It’s a painful process but hopefully one I’m finally emerging from. My DD is now the light of my life and I take so much solace from the fact I’m breaking the cycle and she will never experience that.

@WhichOneIsPosher It was about 12 years ago and he has seemed well since. Recently started therapy as was feeling a bit low but now seems happy.

My DB taking his own life - just horrendous and took a long time to come through it.

lots of IVF treatment / rounds / transfers / surgeries - took many years and was so very hard but have amazing DS now

A very hard thread. It doesn't seem so bad as some of these, but at the time being with my dh as he descended into a psychotic episode, trying ineffectively to get him help, then being sent home as he was 'low risk' and then he took his own life at home with me that day. It was so terrifying. I was also desperate to stop ds coming through the door from school - the only person who listened to me and took action that day was the school receptionist. Tbh she really might have saved ds's life - she certainly prevented a huge trauma for him.

There are no words, that took my breath away. Wishing you strength xx

@Topseyt123 Thank you. He seems ok now. Was such a worrying time.

So sorry for everyone's losses. It's a devastating read. Please take care of yourselves. My mum killed herself recently, I had to identify her body after they found her in a river.