To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

I had a tough childhood with lots of traumatic elements, but the hardest thing I've ever been through was a brain tumour diagnosis (and the subsequent related diagnoses - epilepsy confirmed just a few days ago).

I think it's because with the brain tumour diagnosis, it's no-one's fault. It isn't like my childhood, where my parents are very much to blame. There's nowhere for my anger at the current situation to go, so it just sits and eats away inside me.

I can't begin to imagine, I'm so sorry

Lots of love to all of you. So many sad stories.

Mine is my divorce - the acts of betrayal and lies were devastating, particularly with my children so young. After that the loss of my first pregnancy at 16 weeks - the baby died in the womb, and my mother suddenly dropping dead one day. And also the loss of a dear dear friend to cancer.

Being woken up by a police officer when I was 14 telling me my beautiful funny brother (16) was dead and I needed to get up and support my mother.

My DH passing away suddenly. Our kids were four and six years old.

My horrific divorce.

Losing my beautiful little brother.

Breast cancer (100% divorce related).

Losing my grandparents.

Losing my Mum.

In that order.

My friend dying in a car accident when I was 15.

Watching my mum experience domestic abuse in front of me when I was 16. I had to keep it together and protect my younger siblings. My mum stayed because she thought we loved him. (We absolutely didn’t).

My depression a couple of years ago triggered by death of a relative. I was suicidal for a long time. The knock on effect was the breakdown of my own relationship when I realised my ex didn’t know or care how much I was struggling.

My father's death when I was in my teens, and my own suicide attempt when I was later in my teens. That still pales into insignificance compared to child loss, though. I am so sorry for what so many of you have endured. I am in my forties now, and thriving.

My dad dying when I was 20, and then a year after that finding out my mum had been having an affair for several years before he died, and had kept seeing the guy until he turned very abusive and she spent most of the money from my dad's estate on legal fees trying to get a restraining order. That was definitely an abrupt end to my childhood/adolescence.

The day my brother was sectioned, and bundling him into an ambulance heading for a secure MH unit where he was very scared to go, was pretty bad too.

Honestly my youth life was just a series of traumatic events- emotionally unavailable/very authoritarian parents, sexual abuse, sexual assault at uni, coming to terms with my sexuality, bullying at uni, which all led to a spiral of being in and out of mental health crises from about 18 to 24. My first love also died due to her epilepsy during this time. I had a bad drink problem, self harmed daily, and just generally engaged in reckless behaviour. I was at rock bottom, and very suicidal on and off.

I'm not telling anyone this for sympathy- Age 32, I'm now a mental health nurse (inspired by my own experiences), am in a loving marriage, have lots of friends and hobbies, no longer self harm and can drink sensibly, and I had a lovely baby girl 8 months ago. You can turn your life around. Your life won't always suck, and you can learn to live with trauma. It doesn't feel like it, but bad times always pass.

Your life matters and you will find love, hope, and enjoyment.

I’m so sorry xx

That's a tough one.

There are a lot of things that have been so hard. I mean, my childhood was traumatic- very little has actually been easy since. There have been many situations that may not seem that bad on their own, but have been relentless.

My young children losing their dad to cancer was awful. Watching their pain and grief, and seeing how from that moment on, their worlds felt less secure. It has had a profound impact on all of them, forever.

I would say my husband's recent psychotic break is up there too. The things that I saw and what happened was horrific, and for weeks, it seemed like I would never get him back. Even now, I have lost a part of him and you grieve for that person even though they are alive. It is still very raw though, and actually, some positives also seem to be emerging.

Us humans are definitely amazing. I am so sorry for the pain people have experienced.

That’s the same age my uncle died of the same reason. Im sorry for your loss. I don’t like using that term. He died of depression. It’s a horrible illness. However you’d never be able to tell he had it. Hid it well even though we knew he suffered from it. Still hurts me today and I can’t imagine how painful it still is for his siblings.

Mine was my divorce too. I just really loved him, I don't have anything bad to say about him...it didn't work for him, he wanted out. It took me a long time to even date, and I have never met anyone who made me feel the same way. The death of a parent didn't hurt as much. Divorce can really hit you, it robs the feeling of the future you dreamt you would have.

My best friend symptoms being brushed off because she was overweight. They FINALLY agreed to a brain scan after years of her begging. She had it on the Friday, she was found dead on the Wednesday. I collapsed when I was told. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

There is no measure of pain, yours is yours.

I relate to this, I have never done well in therapy as I don’t like talking about it but I’ve been working on dealing with it alone and what you said about understanding how many people let you down and the severity of it hits home. I’m sorry you had to go through that too, an internet hug being sent your way. 🤍

So many things. Illness, deaths, divorce etc.

Weirdly, the worst thing ever was going round to let my boyfriend's dogs out, looking through the window and seeing his ex wife was moving back in. He lied about it in 4 phone calls as that day went on.

I don't know why it affected me so badly. I actually had chest pain for a fortnight with the shock and stress. 14 years on and if I really thought about that day, my eyes would still fill with tears.

I had a nervous breakdown which turned to psychosis 10 yrs ago and honestly i did not think I would make through.

Life can be so fucking traumatic! This thread has had me gasping.
You never know what someone is going through do you.
Sending love to you all xx

I’m so sorry. Must be a very difficult time. Wishing you strength and your friend ease.

Witnessing both my parents try to kill themselves with various different methods as a child. I had an awful childhood in some ways. It’s probably no wonder I tried to kill myself as a teen.

I know this doesn’t compare to some people but supporting my daughter through her scoliosis spinal fusion surgery was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.

I had a miscarriage about 8 years ago. I was devastated. I've since had a daughter (she's amazing).... but now realised my mum watched her daughter go through a miscarriage and now that I'm a mum, I feel like it must have been worse for her than it was for me.