To ask the hardest thing you have ever been through

Oh my goodness. I'm so happy your son is in remission, what a hard time you have had, I wish you only good health and happiness from now on.

It was the death of my partner.

After a string of false starts and failed relationships with incompatible men, at the age of 39 I finally found the perfect man and within weeks we were madly in love with each other. I thought this person would never come along in my life and I counted myself as lucky beyond belief that I'd finally met him. He was just so perfect for me; he was everything I had ever looked for: stunningly handsome, devastatingly intelligent, sparkling, witty, talented and erudite. We were together for just over three years when he developed cancer and died after just four months later. He had just turned 36.

Admitting to myself that it was time to let my baby girl go and having to say it to my husband. She had fought so hard and her little body was ravaged so much that her organs were failing and doctors had rather abruptly discussed the amputation of limbs as if it was no big deal. My husband had stood rubbing her legs for hours to try and help her and it broke my heart. She was on a ventilator in ICU and I realised how cruel I was being by expecting her to keep fighting.

When my son's tummy bug and what we thought would be an overnight stay in hospital for IV fluids to rehydrate him turned into a bowel obstruction, septic shock and a 20 minute cardiac arrest. We were told he wouldn't survive multiple times but against the odds, he did.

Only to find out 2 weeks later that the bowel obstruction was caused by a cancerous tumour. They were able to remove it all during surgery and scans showed it wasn't anywhere else but ideally, he needed 2 rounds of chemotherapy in the hopes it wouldn't come back. He was still incredibly unwell at this point and by the time he was well enough, it hadn't come back so he was considered in remission.

Unfortunately, just a few months later, it did come back. This time he was well enough for chemotherapy and after 4 rounds, he was in remission again.

That was 4 months ago now and so far, he is still in remission. Sepsis did an absolute number on his body and he wasn't able to come home until almost a month ago after 308 days in hospital.

He had to learn how to sit up, eat etc again and is still learning how to walk again after almost losing his right leg to sepsis.

He's my little miracle. 9 years old and still smiling despite everything he's been through.

My husband was involved in a horrible work place accident and our ife together has never been the same. I'm always watching him as it has destroyed his mental health and left him suicidal, he's a wonderful man that's been destroyed.

In the last 3 years: My final parent died of cancer. I ended a 23 year marriage that had been largely miserable but I'd stuck with as 2 Dc with SN. I then met my Partner (an old flame from my youth) 2 years later he died of cancer. My adoptive Mother's Cancer is back. My Ds had sudden heart failure last summer. He is still unwell and has his 3rd MRI tomorrow. I'm so very tired.

I have read every single post on this thread. I applaud every person who is still soldiering on after these traumas.
I am sorry for everyone's losses xx

When my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she didn't want to go to the hospice, but wanted to die at home. It was a harrowing time, and I'll never forget the last two weeks.

The only good thing - I told the children that when my time comes, I'm going to the hospice. You can come and visit when I'm all cleaned up and medicated.

I wonder what type of vaccination?

So sorry for everyone's loss and pain, and especially the loss of beautiful babies xxx

My horrible divorce, which included multiple custody battles and subsequently I missed out on half of my only Ds's childhood as his father frequently wouldn't allow me to see him.

The traumatic death of my much adored grandmother, she had a fall and lay on the ground for 16 hours. In the hospital she contracted an infection which caused delirium, she didn't know who I was, so I never got to say goodbye and thank her for being the one constant love in my life.

My dad succumbing to his decades of alcoholism and suffering as no human should. An animal would have been put out of its misery if they were suffering like that. The expression on his face post death will haunt me forever.

I'm so sorry for everyone's pain on thod thread. Life can be so very tough.

I really hope you’re wrong. People have shared some very personal experiences here.

My child's father leaving me for someone else when I was pregnant, then at the same time being pushed out of my job because I was pregnant. I felt so abandoned and such a sense of failure I thought about taking my own life but my love for my baby got me through it all.

I cannot imagine anything worse than losing a child. My heart breaks for those who have experienced it 💔.

Having said that, as awful as it was losing DH I can think of lots of experiences that would be worse – many of which people have shared on this thread – and I feel, on balance, very fortunate thus far. Probably always will do providing DD is happy and healthy and here with us.

I’m so incredibly sorry to you, we lost our first child at 39 weeks, completely perfect pregnancy, not one issue at all- the day I was due for a (medical reason) GA c-section we found out there was no heartbeat, I’d felt her move the night before & as I was having a GA I had to fast from the night before & it wasn’t unusual for no movement to be felt until I’d had my 1 cup of coffee & my breakfast everyday so I literally thought there was not a thing wrong! This was in 2016, I think I’m still in denial about it as I talk about it as if it was a story about someone else! I don’t know if it was a personal lack of awareness or just genuinely not knowing something so drastic could happen so late on! but now when I see people doing their pregnancy announcements on sm after passing the “SAFE” time (12 weeks) drives me mad- there’s no such thing as a safe pregnancy (in my opinion) only when your baby is born, in your arm’s & squealing & is medically cleared is the first time it’s ”safe” to tell everyone. We luckily were able to have a beautiful healthy child the following year & that pregnancy was awful & I was hospitalised for most of it & baby was a premie- but he’s a big boy now and doing great 💔❤️‍🩹🩷❤️- I doubt I’ll ever go through anything harder than that.

My husband having a brain haemorrhage. Our eldest was 4 plus the twins were 6months old.
I was told a 50% chance survival rate and a 5% chance of him retaining all mental faculties

He was that 5%
Since then we are grateful for every single day.

My husband dying suddenly when I was 36 and our daughter was 2. It was during the first lockdown so I was pretty isolated, didn’t see my own family for 8 months after the funeral (they live overseas) and the whole experience was just hideous – his death was sudden and unexpected but came after his recovery from an ICU stay (and induced coma) in which we also lost him, and during that time my daughter also got a chemical burn from a bad batch of nappy wipes they used at her nursery so I had her in one hospital and DH in another at one point. Then just as we thought things were looking up DH had a cardiac arrest and died at home. Breaking his ribs while doing CPR was the second worst moment of my life — the first being when the paramedics told me there was no hope.

Sorry, that was a ramble and I haven’t read the full thread as it was overwhelming me. I don’t talk about it in real life ever – the details are too distressing, even worse than I’ve shared here, I could never inflict it on anyone. But it’s good to let a bit of it out sometimes.

No sadly not.

A parent collapsing and dying in front of me, I was in my 20’s at the time. Still haven’t gotten over it and have awful trauma from clinical settings etc. Gave me terrible PTSD, flashbacks, anger issues- the lot really. I’ll never be the same person again, the guilt and despair eats away at you.

Probably 2024 was the hardest period of my life. Feb 24 got cancer , March 24 ex broke 5 ribs. April 24 had operation , Feb-April was admitted to hospital 6 times. July 24 started cancer treatment , August 24 cancer treatment stopped due to toxicity, September 24 spent 3 weeks in cancer hospital, day got discharged ex made me homeless, Oct 24 homeless for 7 weeks and had breakdown. Spent Christmas Day on my own without my children . Never would wish that on anyone

My partner taking his own life after being sexually abused by another patient after he was sectioned on a mental health ward.

Delivering my stillborn son.

My daughter's premature birth 14 weeks before her due date, the subsequent 4-month stay in neonatal intensive care as she fought for her life, and the numerous disabilities and chronic conditions she battles to this day.

As an only child, both of my lovely parents developing dementia at the same time and the six years since spent as their primary carer, watching this vile disease steal their memories, personality, speech, and dignity. Today my mum collapsed and was taken to hospital where the doctor issued a ReSPECT form that stated no more hospital admissions, to prioritse her comfort over extending life and that she wished to die at home. I don't know how long she has left. It's hideous watching her suffer indefinitely with no quality of life.

Omfg. Please tell me you got some justice for this? I'm so so sorry 😔

Fucking hell. This is horrific. I'm so so sorry 😞

I am so so very sorry that happened to you.