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Original poster

To be apprehensive about this

106 replies

CleoMantra · 02/02/2025 12:39

So my ex left me for another woman a few months ago and he has just asked me to send a picture of the children’s passports as he is taking them on holiday with her and the grandparents. The children are 4 and 7 and I have never ever met this woman. I want them to go and have a good time and he questioned who I was punishing here.

OP posts:
missddwh · 02/02/2025 12:54

I completely understand why you'd be worried and a bit apprehensive about it! I'm a step mum and my partners ex has introduced his children to so many men over the past few years, she literally jumps from man to man and I can see that it affects the children as they don't know whos in and out of their life. My partner has had to put his foot down now and has asked her to not introduce the children to men straight away until she's sure that it's something serious. Not only this but you don't know this person and your children are your pride and joy, it's scary to think they will be with someone who you have no clue about.

Just explain your concerns to him and say it would be lovely to know a bit about his new girlfriend and ask to either speak on the phone with her or even have a quick meet on the next exchange or the children. The good thing is your children are at the age where they can tell you if they have any concerns so that should reassure you a bit more.

It's nice to see that you want them to go and have a good time because some parents can spite the kids in order to get back at their ex.

So no I don't think you're being unreasonable I think you're just a loving and worried mum! Xx

Butchyrestingface · 02/02/2025 12:53

Irresponsible of YOU how? He's the children's other parent, isn't he? If anyone is being irresponsible here, it's him. But the kids will be with him and their grandparents too. I can see why you think it's far too soon, especially given the circumstances, but you can't dictate his choices on the matter of when to introduce new partners no matter how prematurely.

Is she willing to meet you? Do you even want to meet her?

Itiswhysofew · 02/02/2025 12:52

No experience of this, but aren't you entitled to meet the people your children will be spending time with? I'd've thought that's a basic element.

Original poster
CleoMantra · 02/02/2025 12:52

Butchyrestingface · 02/02/2025 12:42

The children's grandparents, right? I can see why you don't like it but presumably you don't have any concerns that he's going to permanently remove the children from the country?

The concern is just around the fact you haven't met the new girlfriend? I'm afraid you're going to have to suck that one up. Everyone will say it's too soon, but also that you can't dictate your ex's schedule. That's why he's your ex.

Yes it is the children’s grandparents.

OP posts:
Original poster
CleoMantra · 02/02/2025 12:46

Is it not irresponsible of me though?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 02/02/2025 12:42

The children's grandparents, right? I can see why you don't like it but presumably you don't have any concerns that he's going to permanently remove the children from the country?

The concern is just around the fact you haven't met the new girlfriend? I'm afraid you're going to have to suck that one up. Everyone will say it's too soon, but also that you can't dictate your ex's schedule. That's why he's your ex.