Am I over reacting? I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, and we have three kids together. He has a very small family—just him, his brother and sister-in-law, and his parents. My brother-in-law and I have never had any falling out, and I try really hard to make things work when we see him. I’ve also been friends with his partner for over 20 years. My husband and his brother are very close, and family is everything to me.
Anyway, my brother-in-law recently turned 40, and I was completely excluded from the celebration. It wasn’t a small event with just a few friends; there were at least 20 people, many of whom are mutual friends. I’m hurt that it didn’t even cross my husband’s mind that I would feel upset, confused, and excluded. He didn’t help organise the event but knew ahead of time who had been invited and what the plans were. Still, he didn’t question why I wasn’t included and seemed completely indifferent to how I felt about being left out. It felt like he went along with it without a care, as if it wasn’t even our family gathering with me being the only one left out. I’m pretty upset that he didn’t try include me in it before I found out to at least save my feelings.
It all felt very immature, more like something you’d expect from a 16-year-old than a 40-year-old. I’m not sure how to move forward from here. I don’t want to cause any big family drama centered around myself, but I don’t feel like I’m seen as part of the family if no one even thought to include me