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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up working

141 replies

BrickZebra · 02/02/2025 09:56

AIBU to quit working? For the past 12 years I’ve worked in a job I absolutely loathe, 3 out of 5 days are vile, the others manageable. The issue is it is extremely well paid, I would never ever get anywhere near what I earn again…I’ve tried!!!

This job has allowed me to pay off our mortgage and we also own another home so are more than comfortable, we have security. My husband also earns equally as well. We could survive on his wage very very easily.

He doesn’t want me to quit. What should I do?

OP posts:
sparkellie · 02/02/2025 11:46

Why doesn't he want you to quit? Is he happy in his job? If not is there room for you both to move to jobs that pay less but would make you happier?

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 02/02/2025 11:44

Fencehedge · 02/02/2025 11:21

If he doesn't want you to quit this specific job, and you hate it, then you divorce because he's controlling, and take one of the houses.

Edited

Is it controlling to want your partner to contribute to the household finances? Damn.

Op is only thinking of two options, stay in a well paid job that they hate or no job at all. I’m not surprised that the partner isn’t happy. Where’s the other options.

IVFmumoftwo · 02/02/2025 11:43

Fencehedge · 02/02/2025 11:21

If he doesn't want you to quit this specific job, and you hate it, then you divorce because he's controlling, and take one of the houses.

Edited

Oh give over. Many would not want to be paying for everything on just the one wage.

PinkiOcelot · 02/02/2025 11:31

So if you couldn’t get a job on the same salary as you’re on now, get a different job with a lower salary. A lower salary is better than £0, is it not?

healthybychristmas · 02/02/2025 11:28

What is bad about your job?

Rachmorr57 · 02/02/2025 11:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fencehedge · 02/02/2025 11:21

If he doesn't want you to quit this specific job, and you hate it, then you divorce because he's controlling, and take one of the houses.

Winterscoming77 · 02/02/2025 11:21

Leave the job, take 6 months off and then get something totally different and easy or start your own business. I think ‘quit forever’ is a bit extreme but ‘sabbatical to find myself’ is an easier sell to DH

IVFmumoftwo · 02/02/2025 11:20

Well if he doesn't want you too then you can't give up work. Best thing might be to just look for something different instead.

Fencehedge · 02/02/2025 11:18

Why is it all or nothing? You could go into another job and it doesn't necessarily need to be on the same pay level as you have now.. Why not just do something you actually enjoy perhaps? Even if it's minimum wage in a craft shop (for example), or volunteering. You can't take it with you.

OddBoots · 02/02/2025 11:18

Would it be worth just changing job in he first instance, then seeing how you feel?

Newname85 · 02/02/2025 11:16

Who likes working?!

Newname85 · 02/02/2025 11:16

why should he work when you don’t? Surely if you earn well too, he can quit and you can earn?

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 02/02/2025 11:14

I’m your Dh in this situation. My Dh no longer works and it’s causing massive resentment.

LeafofLorien · 02/02/2025 11:11

I would 100% quit. If the agreement between the 2 of you is that you both need to work then I'd find something lower paid that is more enjoyable. Life is far too short to work a job you hate, you've done the hard work by paying off your mortgage and getting yourself some stability.

KarmenPQZ · 02/02/2025 10:06

What would you do day to day? Whats the long term plan? Whats your pension like?

I wouldn’t want to work whilst my partner didn’t