Omg please help!

He's 3, he's a big boy in his eyes. He's not a baby. He wants to get up out of bed, like other big people do.

He'll be at school in a year or so.

Stop putting yourself first with dressing, breakfast etc and realise that your baby, is not a baby!

Phew! Was beginning to wonder if I was doing it wrong 😂😂

Oh right. Yeah it is I guess.

If it’s just started could he be ill? Sore throat/ear infection and drinking helps.

she didn't say it was a mumsnet classic, she said it was classic mumsnet. as in not for Classics, but typical idiocy/snark/judgy.

OP you are making life very difficult for yourself and allowing yourself to be ruled by a screaming banshee toddler. I think you need to get a grip and stand up to your child or else they are going to continue to walk all over you. Forget flasks and the such, simply say 'we don't scream in this house. If there's something you'd like please ask nicely'. And don't produce milk until the behaviour is something that you're comfortable with.

Also yes plenty of us who work or have other children to get to school do just get up, get a dressing gown on and get going in the morning

So would I. But if it was my child and it was 6am it wouldn't be an unreasonable time to wake up.

Sometimes yes 😂

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything

Yes. This is the most normal thing to me, have done it every day for my whole life.

Get up, fluffy socks on, toilet if I need it ,downstairs, radio on, kettle boiling, breakfast made.
Then back upstairs after, to brush teeth,get washed get dressed.
If I bushed my teeth before breakfast, breakfast would taste like toothpaste and teeth would have to be brushed again anyway.

Errrr...yes?

Unless your big house is Buckingham Palace and you're expected to be suited and booted, pristine to breakfast... why on Earth would going downstairs for breakfast before getting ready be a problem?

OP I agree with your initial assessment - you've accidentally created a scenario whereby when he screams, milk then appears.

If it were my 3yo I would tell him the night before that people who are screaming don't get milk. And I would probably follow it up with "daddy won't come back upstairs with all this screaming going on- it hurts his ears" etc.

In my experience, genuine disregulated meltdowns take a while to calm down from - they don't usually resolve like flicking a switch once the child gets what they want.

I don't understand this post really. I have a 3 year old and if he wakes up he either comes in my bed for a bit or we go straight downstairs for breakfast. If I need to go to the toilet I go and he'll either wait or go downstairs and wait for me. We brush our teeth after breakfast and he can most definitely walk down the stairs by himself. Also he's been in a bed since 14 months

Its typical for a child to move out of the cot from 18 months to 3 years. So 3 is normal. There is no specific benefits to keeping them out of the cot just like there is no specific benefits to getting them out of the cot. Obviously if a child can climb out of the cot they would need to be moved out for safety. But if they can't there is no actual benefit to them being out of the cot until they develop impulse control.

Drinks are delivered in less than 5 minutes. More like 3

If you can get to the kitchen, prepare hot drinks, and get back upstairs in 3 minutes then - without meaning to sound argumentative - you don't have a house so large that it can't be navigated with a 3yo in the morning.

Anyway, I agree with most other posters - try taking him downstairs with you. He sounds frustrated and being part of the process would probably help.

This thread is absolutely bizarre.

Just all wake up, have your good morning moments in bed then all go downstairs and have breakfast and milk together.

You seem to pander to him a lot. "He doesn't want to go downstairs he wants milk".

Who cares. Don't let him dictate your routine. Show him this is what we do. We all go down and have breakfast together. In PJs and teeth unbrushed like the average person.

Honestly who TF is brushing their teeth before breakfast? Cereal and coffee and orange juice with mint? No thanks. People won't appreciate those breakfast smells in the morning on your breath in public. Clean your teeth after you've eaten and before you leave the house.

You can all get washed and dressed after breakfast. Or you'll be changing them frequently when they spill their breakfast or toothpaste down them.

Thank you for this. Yes my kids are the same! If they had milk before breakfast they’d be too full. Thank you and now the thread can go back to normal 😂

I would firmly tell him to stop screaming and that if he doesn't he will not be getting the milk at all. He's old enough to understand that and maybe one or two mornings not getting any milk will be enough to teach him that screaming like that gets him absolutely nowhere.

Honestly I mis-read and mis-type all the time on here because I'm usually pinging off quick responses whilst stopping my own kids from causing too much chaos 😂

Exactly. When my 1 year old wakes me at 5am if needs be I carry him to the toilet so I can have a wee. Then carry him downstairs plop him on the couch and make my drinks for the day. He can come back up the stairs by himself. My 3 year old is in a proper bed, and has free rein of the house.
Op i think it may have been easier if you'd have said " 2 year old" instead of "nearly 3" as everyone, including myself has now subbed this to 3 in their mind. When do they turn 3? Apologies if I've missed it i have read op updates but my own kids causing havoc right now haha and the thread is going so fast.
Also, as pp have said it may be worth speaking to your health visitor to get an objective view on whether or not there are any developmental delays or not.

@Wavescrashingonthebeach it could be a sign I wasn't ready for school 🙈

Derailing the thread but about your comment about milk alongside breakfast. Is that needed? My 1 year old doesn’t! She just has milk and bedtime but she does have milk inside her cereal. Is that ok?

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here . Some kids would have a cup of milk then be too full to eat breakfast. Some have bigger appetites and a cup of milk with breakfast wouldnt stop them eating their cereal, or whatever they usually have. I know with mine a cup of milk before breakfast would equal no food as they would drink the milk first then have no room for breakfast.

There is more chance of pigs flying than my 3 year old sitting on my bed nicely while I drink a cup of tea first thing in the morning! This can't be real, surely you don't need a mumsnet thread to tell you to just go downstairs instead?!

I think the problem is you are expecting him to decide for himself what he's doing in that 5 minutes and what he wants to be doing is drinking milk and he can't. I think he needs more structure so that he knows he is doing thing X (that takes 5 minutes) and then there will be milk. Eg having a special story book with whichever parent isn't getting the drinks. A 3 yo can usually happily entertain themselves for 5 minutes if not hungry or thirsty but the mental gymnastics to know that milk is soon but not yet and to get on with doing something else is clearly too much for this particular 3yo to do without support.

If you can bear it, moving to this structure gradually over a few days would require the wait to be only 1 minute at first (so you buy some ready made iced coffee for the transitional period) then gradually stretch it out to 5 minutes once he can cope with 1/2/3/4 minutes without getting upset.

So sorry im still trying to catch up on the thread, I keep losing my place 😂