Omg please help!

I’m really confused. Why do you go down and get drinks, and go back up? Do you then expect to stay in bed or what? 🤣

It sounds like your toddler is ready to start the day so doesn’t want to stay in his room, so why not take him downstairs and get his breakfast out while you make drinks? Part of parenting is sucking it up re. getting up early. Maybe you and partner can take it in turns to go down while one has a little snooze?

Yes. This is…normal

You have to learn to get ahead of his game and at the same time have him alongside you. With messy hair, morning breath, sleepy eyes. He’s wants to be with you, and leaving him to scream will just make him more clingy. Yes it’s intense especially if you’re not the morning type. Get breakfast stuff set up the night before. Please don’t ignore the wise advice already given. Scoop him up, go downstairs, let him play or help get breakfast ready with you. He won’t do it when he’s 16!

At 3 he really shouldn't be having milk before breakfast anymore (and I do hope it's in a cup, not in a bottle). And I think his recent change of behaviour is signalling that this routine isn't working for him anymore, as lovely as drinks while cuddling in bed and chatting sounds to us adults. He's clearly hungry and needs breakfast, so take him downstairs as soon as he wakes up, and get him involved in making breakfast. When ours were this age we had plastic bowls, cutlery and cereal in a low cupboard in the kitchen and on weekends the two of them would sometimes go down by themselves (together) and make their own breakfast when the eldest was 5 and the youngest 3. Obviously yours isn't ready for this level of independence and needs to be supervised, but I find it bizarre that you avoid taking him down the stairs because you'd then have to get him back up again later. If he can't manage the stairs by himself yet, you should be practising with him as often as possible, not avoiding the stairs! Does he stay downstairs all day - once he's down he stays down until bedtime? Is he scared of the stairs?

Really feels like you’re over complicating things

I suspect he was a very easy and chilled baby/toddler, and this routine of everyone relaxing in bed with drinks before the day starts properly has been a well-established routine (and maybe a bit of a smug one, as not many parents manage it!) but that now the 'threenager' years are approaching the OP is getting a bit of a shock to the system?!

It’s in your dd’s genes then.

Treat him like a 3 year old - he’s frustrated and bored - you should be able to trust him on the stairs by now. Many children go downstairs first thing to play or watch TV - he needs company but you can take turns.

He needs a bed and some age appropriate independence

😂 I do wonder who she got that from!

(your username)

I have no advice to give other than don’t give your 2 year old squash to drink

Does he wake up crying or happy?

Instead of getting him out of his cot then going to make the drinks one of you could go and make the drinks as soon as he wakes up then get him out of his cot once the drinks are made. Then the milk will be ready. But I don’t think a 3 year old should be screaming for milk.

Yes quite!

I think the odd thing here though is “the drinks” being seen as such a prerequisite before going anything else!

It really well within the norm to all go downstairs have breakfast and whatever drinks you like before you go back up and get dressed.

We don’t do that now on weekdays - DS is 10, so we both get dressed in our separate rooms (DD16 leaves earlier and has her own routine but just mentioning there is another DC) and then go downstairs and have breakfast.

We have water bottles in our rooms in case someone is so thirsty they can’t wait to get a drink if that’s the issue.

When he was little and needed milk first thing we did it the other way around I think.

The other option if you really can’t go downstairs before coming up again is to have mini fridge upstairs for his milk so he has it before this seemingly lengthy dressing routine. Or if the issue is that you really can’t do without tea immediately is to get a teasmade. Or else just let him scream I guess!

😬 yes. Am I missing something?

As it currently stands, one of you goes down to make the ‘drinks’ and brings them back up, right?

So why not just take him downstairs to make the ‘drinks’ and bring them back up with him?

Why on earth would you need to wash and dress beforehand?

Your kid has decided to scream while the ‘drinks’ are being made, so include him. Let him go down.

And what sort of stairs do you have that s three year old can’t manage?

Really feels like you’re over complicating things.

Just read that report
Caregivers report better sleeping
Hmmm I suspect what it means is children can't get out of bed !

I'll admit I only scan read the link but as it's only based on care-giver perceived sleep behaviour is it not possible that it's a simple cor-relation between the developmental stages of the children having the sleep issues rather than saying cribs lead to lower sleeping problems?

Personally I can't see why it matters what sort of bed the child is in at any age, when they are too old for a cot you will notive pretty quickly!

Yes. Every morning when I get up to go toilet and make tea downstairs my toddler comes with me. Sometimes she even watches me in the shower and sits in bed with me while I put my make up on. I think it’s very normal for toddlers to not want to be left alone for a short period of time, especially in the morning when they are a bit grumpy!

Yes 😂 then we have a cup of tea etc and come back up to get ready for the day. I don’t pluck her though, she plucks me out of bed!

This is the weirdest thread. Massively dramatic title, and yet the solution is to take the kid downstairs first thing. Bonkers. Did that really not occur? How big is this house?!

No harm in trying. It will only be a yes or no.

I don't understand this.
Surely it makes more sense to all go downstairs, have breakfast then go back upstairs to get dressed. That's what I always did with my children and it's what happens with my grandchildren.
He is frustrated and ready to get up.
I can't believe your house is so big you can't go back upstairs to get ready after breakfast.
Is he particularly small for his age because it's very unusual to still be in a cot at that age and to not be able to manage the stairs.