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Original poster

Omg please help!

763 replies

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:33

Toddler is nearly 3.

Every morning when he wakes up. We get him out of his cot and he can run around upstairs or come into bed whilst his dad or I get morning drinks (milk/ tea etc.)

For the last couple of weeks he has started screaming in the morning when we go downstairs to get the drinks.

Like full on. Full wake the whole street up screaming non stop.

I honestly dont know what to do.

Obviously I have been being calm and saying whats wrong, etc. Explaining dad always comes back with the drinks. Offering other drinks that are already available in case hes thirsty (water, squash).

We have done ignoring as well. And sternly please stop screaming - because it is literally as loud as he can.

This has been a few weeks now. He’s just been getting worse. And obviously the return of his drinks is the culmination of the event and he just happily drinks his milk so I dont know whether he thinks his screaming is resulting in a positive outcome.

But we cannot have this.

What do people suggest?

I said to DP this morning maybe we need to try no milk. He can have a glass at breakfast but hes not going to die or starve of milk deprivation in the 20/30 minutes it takes everyone to get to breakfast.

Any ideas! Help please

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Uneventfully · 02/02/2025 09:00

What a bizarre issue to have.

Prioritise your toddler's needs by bringing him downstairs with you for a drink. Then go from there. Honestly mind boggling.

Get him out of the cot. He's nearly 3.

Look up parenting tips online.

thegrumpusch · 02/02/2025 08:59

SnapdragonToadflax · 02/02/2025 08:54

All go downstairs for morning drinks. Don't brush teeth first, yuck! Toilet first if he needs it, but if he's still in a nappy overnight he probably doesn't.

I'm sure he'll be able to manage the stairs, my son is usually 9th centile and he's been doing them since he was about 1.

Edited

Actually, it's better for your teeth to brush before breakfast

Didimum · 02/02/2025 08:59

TwentyTwentyFive · 02/02/2025 08:43

I agree with others surely you take him downstairs with you? Also if he's nearly 3 he really should be moving out of the cot and into a bed.

Cot sleeping for as long as possible (without safety issue) has been shown to be more beneficial to sleep. Til 2.5 at least.

TwirlyPineapple · 02/02/2025 08:59

"Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything."

Absolutely. That is what normal people do, to the point it never occurred to me to do anything else. This whole thread is bizarre and I don't understand you at all.

You say "oh we'd just have to take him back upstairs to get ready anyway"- yes? That is what normal people do. But if you want to minimise going up and down the stairs, I don't understand why you can't just keep a drink by the bed and then just get ready and go downstairs after.

Or get the toddler ready upstairs, then one of you takes him downstairs for breakfast/plating while the other gets themselves ready. Then switch.

Samesame47 · 02/02/2025 08:59

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes we used to pop dressing gowns on and go downstairs, leisurely morning drinks in bed don’t work with a toddler, then after breakfast upstairs to get washed/dressed and brush teeth, and he should definitely be able
to go up and downstairs at 3 years old

Chuchoter · 02/02/2025 08:58

Downstairs ^^

Chuchoter · 02/02/2025 08:58

Bizarre.

Take him with you and have the drink sow statues like normal people do!

Original poster
Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:58

Hoppingabout · 02/02/2025 08:54

Maybe he needs a wee urgently when he wakes up? Presumably as he's nearly 3 he can get out of his cot and go himself? Or is he trapped. I'd be screaming too if so.

No he’s screaming in our bedroom. He usually comes in and we sit on the bed. Say hi nice morning, what are we going to do today etc.

Whoever got up is already going downstairs getting drinks straight away. We aren’t faffing about.

Maybe I do need a thermos flask or a microwave but if a younger baby can cope with a 2-3 minute wake then surely a 3 year old can.

It’s just so intense. It’s literally a melt down within about 30 seconds from being fine to screaming.

OP posts:
madnessitellyou · 02/02/2025 08:58

Also op, if he’s seeing you prepare milk or whatever he’ll eventually learn to do it himself. He needs to see you doing the things that you do for him.

ilovesooty · 02/02/2025 08:57

Strugglingrightnow · 02/02/2025 08:35

What time is he doing this? Any time from 6am is fine for starting the day imo.

You might think it is. I wouldn't appreciate being woken up by screaming at that time if I lived next door.

Seaside31 · 02/02/2025 08:57

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes 😂😂 DS had just turned 4 but for at least the last year and a but since potty trained it’s been

  • wake up
  • quick stop at the toilet for a wee
  • he comes to the kitchen and helps with making breakfast
  • he plays for half an hour while I get ready/put on a laundry/get bags etc sorted for the day
  • then brush his teeth (I don’t like doing them immediately after eating so try to wait half an hour if possible) and get him dressed and we’re ready for our day

He’d be fuming if I made him wait in a bedroom and bugger about getting milk etc! He’s up and ready to start the day

Jollyjoy · 02/02/2025 08:57

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

I love MN for this, is your mind blown by the idea people can go downstairs without cleaning their teeth?! You need to read some of the threads/furious arguments about wearing pjs all day!!

We all go downstairs, we all get our drinks there, we all eat breakfast. Toilet either up or downstairs depending on need. Then dressed and teeth last. Even your little one is like 'why are we all waiting up here when everything we need is downstairs?!'

Agree with others that if your 3yr old can't do the stairs you should be working on it, that's a bit unusual imo.

DJrocks · 02/02/2025 08:57

Apologies, OP I thought he was left upstairs alone however, yes it is completely normal to get up and go straight down for breakfast and then get ready after. Completely normal. Teeth should be brushed after you’ve eaten.

colinthedogfromaccounts · 02/02/2025 08:57

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes. It's this or listen to him scream.

Absolutely normal to go down for drinks / breakfast, then back up for teeth, face, dressed etc.

Many posters concur, might be an idea to think about it as a solution 😜

Plaided · 02/02/2025 08:57

He really needs a chance to be able to navigate the stairs. Our stairs are practically vertical and we made sure ours could safely get up and down (at 2, not 3).

Why do you need to get dressed and brush teeth before going downstairs? We always go down in our pjs, and brush teeth after breakfast. You shouldn’t brush before!!

Clarabellawilliamson · 02/02/2025 08:56

Yes! Most people with small children will go downstairs in their pyjamas and drink tea downstairs before taking g it in turns to go back upstairs to get ready.

Amba1998 · 02/02/2025 08:56

If you’ve got a large house then you likely have a toilet downstairs

who brushes teeth before they’ve eaten or drank anything?

just go downstairs in PJs have some milk have some breakfast play for abit then get dressed.

and maybe he can’t navigate down the stairs but surely a 3 year old can climb them?? Crawling babies can climb stairs

madnessitellyou · 02/02/2025 08:56

OP take him downstairs. He might even find it fun to try to go down himself. He will never learn how to safely negotiate stairs if you never let him try. Our old house had very steep stairs that dd had to literally climb up but as she was supervised at all times doing so she learned to cope.

And yes, op, people do pluck their screaming children out of the cot.

QforCucumber · 02/02/2025 08:56

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes!

mine are 8 and 4 and when they wake they go straight downstairs in pjs, one of us joins them and gets breakfast/coffee sorted. Once eaten then we go back up and get showered and dressed. Every single day.

YouFreakingFreaks · 02/02/2025 08:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

young children shouldn’t be forced to stay in bed and be quiet just because adults want a lie in.

Spudalot · 02/02/2025 08:55

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes… (well a quick wee) and then downstairs. They don’t eat breakfast immediately. Play then breakfast.

Wednesdayweirdosclub · 02/02/2025 08:55

Toddlerhelpplease123 · 02/02/2025 08:50

It’s not taking two of us to get drinks

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.

Show quote history

Yes

IGuessIllbetheFirst · 02/02/2025 08:55

He probably wants to be where all the action is & the drinks are being made - rather than having to wait patiently upstairs for 2-3 mins (which is an eternity to a toddler) for the drinks to be presented. Take him downstairs with you and organise your morning around that.

Hoppingabout · 02/02/2025 08:54

Maybe he needs a wee urgently when he wakes up? Presumably as he's nearly 3 he can get out of his cot and go himself? Or is he trapped. I'd be screaming too if so.

MassiveOvaryaction · 02/02/2025 08:54

@Toddlerhelpplease123 get a Teasmade and a mini fridge upstairs. No-one needs to be getting out of bed for their morning brew!

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