Omg please help!

It’s not rocket science, is it 🤦🏼‍♀️

Either before or more than half an hour after is the advice. We go for more than half an hour after.

Mumsnet is so fascinating for getting a glimpse on to other peoples lives!
OP do you do this at the weekend too? Even on a school/ work day we get up , downstairs for drinks and breakfast , 15 minutes of tv for DC then back up to wash, change, teeth etc. Then leave the house. We have an hour and 15 minutes between waking and leaving.
Today as it’s Sunday we have got up , had leisurely drinks and breakfast downstairs, cartoons on, I’m mooching about pretending to sort laundry but actually mumsnetting with radio 2 on. No one is dressed yet. We’re going out at 10.30 so will start to get ready soon. Might have another tea in my pjs first though! Nice chilled morning.

What I mean is, he needs boundaries. If my child was demanding milk and screaming if it didn't arrive instantly I would think they need to be taught manners. Age 3 they can start understanding how things work and that they even have to say thank you to their mum! It's better for them in the long run as it makes their life easier at nursery. So I might use my "special voice" in those circumstances.

Agree with others, take him down in PJs and give him breakfast

This is such an odd thread. Your inflexibility in your morning routine is quite frankly odd and not adapted for your child. It's a total luxury to have 2 parents around (for 1 child!) when toddler gets up (my husband is out door at 6.20am). Just go with the flow downstairs taking turns to get ready. What will you do if you have more than 1 child? And why is a 3 year old having milk before eating? Is it in a bottle? Just give them breakfast with a cup of milk alongside!

@Toddlerhelpplease123

He's probably frustrated, as we all are, that you haven't come up with the obvious solution that is you all go down stairs for drinks as soon as you get up.

You're making me want to scream tbh.

So now you’re focussing on what else you could give him to drink upstairs instead of answer the 5 million people on this thread who suggest you just take him down??

True, it's better to brush before, but a lot of people don't know that.

However it's hardly a hardship to take a few minutes to brush his teeth before then taking him downstairs.

As pp have said, at almost three he should be told not to scream, not asked too much what's wrong, what he wants, etc. If he's getting into a habit of screaming hysterically for no good reason then breaking that cycle with a change to his routine is a good idea.

Fundamentally though, the screaming needs to be stopped without pussyfooting around or changing the routine (though I think it's a bonkers routine).

You need to get on with it. Like a broken record. "No milk if you scream". And the drink bringer makes it clear before they set off that if they hear him screaming they won't bring it. And follow that through. The child is 3, for goodness sake.

Yes. And OP isn’t adapting.

I don’t understand why you can’t all go downstairs in your dressing gowns?? Why does everyone need to be dressed and ready for the day in order to go downstairs 🫤

How could you enjoy a drink and breakfast with minty teeth?

@Toddlerhelpplease123 I totally agree with a PP who picked up on the fact you have a younger child, baby maybe? Babies cry and get fed milk.
Your 3 year old is mimicking this.
He is in the regression phase that often happens when there is a new child.
If I were you I would start with giving your 3 year old little bits of age appropriate responsibility.
Probably not related to the younger sibling though as there may be some resentment/green eyed monster going on.
Could he pull the covers up on his bed?
Put his washing in a basket? Help you empty the washing machine?
This may make him feel 'more grown up' and if he has to pull his bed up while the adult is making milk he is less likely to be screaming.
Good luck 👍

I am not sure I get this a near 3-year old, still in a cot, who has go have milk first thing he wakes up? He can’t just get up and walk down the stairs with you. Involve him, teach him independency. Short legs?

I work with children that age, I’d be quite concerned about the way you parent.

Stop the milk. He's behaving like that and still getting a 'reward' at the end of it.

leisurely morning drinks in bed don’t work with a toddler

This although he's not a toddler at 3
Get up, go downstairs
He's frustrated that you are just sitting there.

Also get dressed after breakfast to avoid the mess.

So it’s all downstairs first.

Just change your routine a bit.

I came to say the same thing! The amount of people saying teeth should be brushed after breakfast!
Brush them before! I daresay it won’t make a huge amount of difference for an adult but for baby teeth, definitely brush before. How don’t people know this?

I imagine he keeps on doing the screaming because it gets a reaction. It is now a habit and it needs to be changed by changing what happens in the morning. Children's day to day routines need adjusted constantly as they develop.

He should be yes, but he obviously isn’t or OP wouldn’t be posting. We have to adapt to the children we have.

Your morning routine sounds incredibly rigid and fussy. Get up have a wee, go downstairs, eat breakfast, play, clean teeth, get dressed. None of this faffing around with drinks and lounging around in dressing gowns. He's probably frustrated and bored as fuck that you are treating him like a baby. Let him go downstairs and help ffs. Give him a job to "help" with.

This is the strangest thread. If he's nearly three years old you should be taking him downstairs when he wakes and giving him his breakfast with a drink. Whys he still getting milk first like a baby and why are you all sitting in bed. You're acting like he's a newborn. I don't know any almost three year olds (excluding those with disabilities) who are unable to go up and down stairs. You sound like you're babying him in a huge way.

I think you’re wanting your DC to fit in with what you see as a good routine re getting drinks and coming back up etc. but for your child it likely seems a bit bizarre why one person can go downstairs and they are waiting upstairs. It’s not such a big thing to take a child downstairs and then back upstairs, I think that’s what most people do. It’s not about pandering to your child but understanding they are their own person with needs which might not always be obvious and they can’t quite articulate. I think you’re looking for something unrealistic in your DC.