Omg please help!

Well yes. Why on earth would you brush teeth before breakfast? I just got mine up, took them downstairs and by that age, they were allowed to pour their own milk into a cup (with assistance from me). Obviously go to toilet as well.

Also - all this sitting on the bed, discussing the days events - maybe he’s just not a morning person and can’t function until he has his coffee milk 🤷‍♀️

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/jan/30/some-children-starting-school-unable-to-climb-staircase-finds-england-and-wales-teacher-survey

Unable to climb staircase...

Just seen this story and thought I'd share.

Not really, unless you are cooking a full English?

Seriously take child downstairs, sit at table, give a cup of milk, put kettle on, make child's breakfast during which time the kettle will have boiled to make your tea, then make your breakfast. Everyone is sorted.

If you want a lie in and don't want to get up then talk to your partner, take it in turns to be the one to get up and go downstairs.

@Overthebow

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2025/jan/30/some-children-starting-school-unable-to-climb-staircase-finds-england-and-wales-teacher-survey#:~:text=Education-,Some%20children%20starting%20school%20'unable%20to%20climb%20staircase'%2C%20finds,England%20and%20Wales%20teacher%20survey&text=Some%20children%20are%20starting%20reception,to%20a%20survey%20of%20teachers.

This is such an odd thread 😂 agree with most other PPs that this is likely solved by bringing him downstairs (and teaching him to go downstairs safely - at 3 he should be able to do this really regardless of his size)

It won't take longer if you just take him downstairs when he wakes up and give him milk and breakfast, which is the normal thing to do. If you've decided that now you're going to make him wait upstairs for 'the 20-30 minutes' you think it takes to get everyone down for breakfast and not give him milk at this time then you are going to have stressful, miserable mornings for all of you. Just go straight downstairs, it's not hard.

Ok. you want this to stop right?
Like many poster I think your ds is hungry/thirsty 1st thing. My ds was the same at that age, grumpy as until breakfast was consumed (well on the table) no screaming mostly
If tackle the cot/bed issue at the same time as this tbh.
So... Make a big deal of telling him about 'now he's a big boy/new routine etc etc' Go somewhere to choose a special/new bed/bedding and cup/bowl (preferably the afternoon before you do this, remind him before bed. You may need the bed delivered of course so maybe just bedding and bowl. Essentially really lay it on thick about how exciting amazing this is. Explain the new routine is he can wake up and come in and get into your bed and he just has to say 'down' and an adult/both adults will take him downstairs (I mean if go with just one adult and take it in turns personally). Then he can choose a cup and sit up at the table for his milk whilst you make porridge/toast and eggs/cereal or whatever.
Problem solved I guarantee.

Why would it take longer? You all go down - sit him at the table with the cup of milk and then bring the food over. Will probably be quicker!

but you are also ignoring the fact that people are saying it isn’t about the milk - it’s about the babying. Taking him down and maybe getting him to help with getting his milk will probably make him feel better about the whole process

i feel frustrated just reading your posts as it sounds like everything is a bit of a performance!

Include him in the routine. If you make him sit and wait, god help you all 😂
Make it fun, give him a special apron or new “special milk cup” that he can carry safely from the kitchen. If the reason it takes a few minutes to make his milk is because he’s still drinking formula, that absolutely has to stop.

It’s the children who were not taught climbing stairs, trees or climbing frames, going on the big swing and getting bruises on their knees when falling of their bike - because of scared parents who are not doing their actual parenting that they are supposed to, it’s those children who then fall. Parenting is teaching your child to become independent.

It’s highly worrying to read this post.

Sorry if the following has been said already; I've only part read the thread but have read all the OP's posts.

@Toddlerhelpplease123

If we take him down then we have to ferry him back up
Why is that so difficult?

Are people honestly just plucking toddler out of room in dressing gown and going immediately downstairs for breakfast without going to the toilet or brushing teeth or anything.
But it's exactly what you're doing now. He's "plucked out" of his cot and given milk. He could have a wee if he wants when he gets up, then go downstairs with whoever is making drinks, then come back with them. The only difference is he'd have been taken up and downstairs in the meantime.
If you need to carry him, you could both go down and 1 get the drinks, the other "ferry" your DS. You say you're both awake and about by that time anyway.
The screaming period won't last forever and he'll be able to cope with the stairs soon enough anyway.

My solution would be for someone to go and get the drinks before getting him. So his drink is there waiting for him.

Oh thanks - I see what you mean now.

This is mad. Just take him downstairs. Don't be selfish and let him wake the whole street up

I take my 2 year old out of her cot and straight downstairs still in her PJs and sleeping bag then she has breakfast and water and we brush her teeth after that and get her dressed downstairs. She's still in nappies so the only thing I would worry that needs doing in your position right away is to get them to the toilet but as for the rest of it why is it so odd to you to be downstairs in PJs? Brushing teeth is surely better after breakfast not before.

Have you actually read the thread? Even just the OP's posts?

Aye a cup. Not a bottle first thing.

This thread is WILD.

@Toddlerhelpplease123 Your morning routine sounds incredibly peculiar and not at all family centric. You need a complete shift in how your family faces a new day.

It is perfectly normal to wake up, pee, opt to brush teeth before or after and then go downstairs in night clothes to prepare and eat breakfast. Staying upstairs and dressing for breakfast is like something from Downton Abbey. I can understand a person who is going out to work decides to use the loo/shower/dress/breakfast/clean teeth in that order but with children it’s their needs first.

Also, I’d have had zero tolerance for this screaming nonsense. My kids just wouldn’t have done it because their needs were met but also because of firm boundaries (particularly at 3?!) He needs to be taught that it’s not ok. But I’m suspecting a Pavlov’s Dogs conditioned behaviour type scenario whereby he thinks the louder he screams then the quicker his milk will arrive as his milk invariably does come.

I urge you all to get your arses in gear and stop faffing about with drinks upstairs in the morning. And it’s vital that you introduce some jobs for him to involve him in the new routine. I know he is only little at three but if you continue to baby him to this degree then he will invariably act like one.

My two still have a cup of milk first thing in the morning and they're both in primary school....

The simplest option does seem to be to change your morning routine somehow. I taught ours to go down the stairs on their bum when they were really small, he should easily be able to climb up at his age though op. I'd be more worried about him climbing out of the cot and falling to be honest

I don't think many people are suggesting giving him instant milk at this age. But he's clearly frustrated, and honestly I'm not surprised.

Why is the idea of just taking him downstairs immediately such an odd idea to you? He needs to be learning some things leading to independence at his age, such as managing stairs, watching you prepare his milk/breakfast, etc.

Toothbrushing should be 10-15 minutes before you eat or drink anything to protect tooth enamel.

Seriously? What has happened to parenting. My 1 year old is starting to go up and down the stairs by himself (with me closely following of course).

Surely the key is finding out why he is screaming.