Omg please help!

If you bring the child downstairs then realistically you don’t then go back in bed, they’ll start doing something downstairs, you will start tidying the kitchen etc.
If one adult stays in bed with the toddler, the other one can quickly nip downstairs to get drinks and come back.

(written from the comfort of my bed, coffee in hand and DD lying next to me 😁)

He's 3 though he's not a baby. Yes he can wait for a drink. If he was mine I would ask him to stop screaming and if he continues I would pop him back in the cot for a minute and repeat that we are not having this screaming first thing..hopefully he would stop. I would stay firm. Does he do this screaming at other times ? There does seem to be a confusing situation here though unless he is just turned 3, I would be hoping for some more independence in a 3 year old so no cot, navigating stairs etc.

@Toddlerhelpplease123 Of course it’s going to take longer. Take him downstairs, let him pour his cup of milk and let him help make breakfast.
He absolutely should be able to do both of those things at this stage.

He’ll be busy with a task, not just waiting!

I don't think people are imagining your DS alone upstairs, drinking squash in his cot. The majority seem to be suggesting that parent A gets up and collects DS, goes downstairs with him to get his milk and hot drinks then back upstairs to have drinks together with Parent B and DS in bed. But you seem to find that a bizarre suggestion.
Out of interest, what are you and DS doing whilst waiting for the drinks to be made downstairs?

Op -

1/ buy your child a toddler bed - they are 3, they shouldn’t be in a cot now.

2/ bring them downstairs for breakfast on waking & they can have a drink with that. It is perfectly normal to go downstairs before getting dressed, did you & your husband not do this when you were younger? After breakfast go upstairs get dressed & brush your teeth.

3/ help your child learn to walk up & down stairs- they start school when they are 4 - so depending when that is either this year or next, they absolutely need to be doing this regardless of what growth percentile they’re on. Plus if not already- toilet train them.

Yes it is nice to wake up & lounge in bed with a tea or whatever but you can only do that with babies & teenagers, not toddlers. You need to get up & go downstairs or take it turns & one of you gets to lie in while one of you sorts breakfast.

Yes he's three. But this kind of screaming is an issue. He's not wailing or whining, he's full on screaming in a way that's worrying to OP. And that's not behaviour that you can ignore, or he'll bring it out again next time he doesn't get what he wants quickly enough.

So yes, the screaming needs addressing as well as the routine needing rethinking.

My 20yr old still prefers milk to anything else, he has never really been a juice guy lol even when younger him and his friends would go to the shop and his friends would all come out with little bottles of cola and sweets. Then there would be one sitting there guzzling his wee pint of milk 🤣

The first child is always the trickiest as we aren't born with a child-rearing manual in our head! The good thing is you are looking for solutions. One of the hardest things is getting your head round the fact that your life is not your own for a few years and a lot of the things you like or want to do (like have a quiet moment making a cup of tea first thing or going back to bed). you can't any more as your child's needs come first. Sometimes very annoyingly! 🤣. But it is a finite time. Just encourage independence and set boundaries re behaviour and life becomes quickly much easier for both you and your child in my opinion. And if life is easier then you are happier and then your child is happier and you can have fun together.

Given that this is a) self evident normal human behaviour that no one would genuinely struggle to understand and b) nearly everyone on the thread has advised the OP to do this and been ignored, I figure this thread is an attempt to recreate the ancient wonder of the supersoaker thread of ye olde days of Mumsnet.

For anyone who doesn't know, that was a thread in which a faux-naive OP kept innocently insisting with wide-eyed sincerity that she should bring a super soaker to a party against express instruction and couldn't seem to understand all the posters patiently explaining how to function like a human being. This OP has the same vibes!

Op surely you need to encourage him to develop his motor skills and balance and navigate the stairs by this age!

I don't think you are doing him any favours by curtailing his development and independence. Navigating the stairs with you will give him a focus and sense of working towards the goal he has - getting the milk, which will relieve his frustration and stop the screaming.

What a pain! We had a similar routine of drinks in bed before properly getting up so I totally get what you mean, OP.

Does is scream regardless of who gets the drinks?

I think the solution is to stop bringing his milk back up when he screams, but be prepared for a full on tantrum the first few times…

Try to Talk to him in the day and say right tomorrow no crying when we wake up . Explain what will happen x

This thread cannot be for real.

As many posters have said, take him downstairs. Why is it such an inconvenience to you to do that? Unless this is a flex for you to brag about your “large” house. He’s a 3 year old, of course he’s going to have tantrums about things!!

Get up,walk away ,leave him to it. He's three and you're treating him like a baby. Even in your OP you call him a toddler.

OP you seem overly fixated on drinks, does the child get food in the morning? Why can't drinks be served with breakfast?

Your morning routine needs to move on.
He isn't a baby now.
Take it in turns to take him downstairs in the morning for milk, playing then breakfast .
Of course people go downstairs in pjs first thing in the morning?

You sound inflexible OP

He may be screaming milk but they can't always vocalise what's wrong.
Especially when they've just woken up.

Yes, that would be a normal thing to do

While one parent gets the toddler can the other pop and grab his drink so it’s ready almost straight away? Then once settle the parent can grab the adult drinks?

Because he’s not wanting to go downstairs. Or maybe he is but doesn’t know it.

Simple way to find out....take him downstairs. Honestly the days of treating him like a baby are over and the sooner you accept that, the better your mornings will be.

You understand this is an attention seeking behaviour. He’s not so hungry within 2 mins that he’s starving. He’s 3 not 3 months.
When he wakes, say let’s go downstairs for milk / breakfast.
You all go down together -yes in Pj’s and dressing gown like the vast majority of people. Hold his hand whilst he walks down the stairs himself.
You all get breakfast / milk. Or maybe one parent stays upstairs to get dressed whilst the other is with the child downstairs.
Play / chat etc.
Hold his hand back upstairs and get dressed for the day.

Milk must be good to keep having for any age. My boys are now big teens and they still voluntarily drink loads of milk (so they get strong bones for rugby apparently). I think only to be encouraged!

This thread is batshit!

1. He needs to be in a bed
2. He needs to be able to use the stairs

Op, my DS has twins and she developed lots of routines in the morning, evening etc. One thing I noticed was she massively struggles when the DT’s would get older, and start to want to do different things. This routine might have worked for you when he was a very small toddler, but now he’s older, sometimes things have to change. Almost three is quite old to be in a cot and kept upstairs for fear of using the stairs. I understand it’s frustrating when a nice routine stops working, but that’s life with kids, unfortunately

Yes, exactly this.

He needs a bed asap, no way should he be in a cot at three.

Why can't he bump down the stairs on his bum ?

Let him go downstairs and pre empt the screaming.